Close to the Sanctuary
The " Angel of Lisieux " — A night of grace — The Queen of Virgins and Martyrs — Janua cceli — The little tribune — August 2, 1906 — Last retreat.
Sister Elizabeth had expressed her regret at returning to life. Her longing aspirations were unfavourable to our efforts, and heaven seemed to side with her. The Mother Prioress tried to make her wish to be cured by persuading her that her zealous work for the community would be a proof of gratitude for the graces received in religion. Sister Elizabeth accepted this view, which struck a tender chord in her sensitive heart. But one day, while repeating to her Divine Master the obedience she had received, she thought she heard, in the centre of her soul, the words : " Earthly offices are no longer for you," which filled her with peace and joy. Her thirst for eternity so increased that she asked her Prioress for leave to yield entirely to it, and to stop the prayers which opposed her hopes and deferred her happiness. They were no longer mentioned in her presence, but suspecting that we were continuing them secretly, she had recourse to the " Angel of Lisieux," for Sister Teresa of the Infant Jesus had been home-sick for heaven, and would understand her trouble and show her pity. With full confidence in Sister Teresa, our little sister asked her, as a guarantee against her fears, that she might be able to walk. Her prayer was granted, to her great joy, and she felt certain she would not recover.
<c My stomach is still refractory," she wrote to her mother ; " but only think, I am beginning to walk ! I cannot; understand it, for I am no stronger than when I could not even sit up.
"The other day, when our Mother came to see me, I felt so exhausted that I told her I was going. ' It would be much better if you would try to walk instead of talking like that/ she answered. I love to obey her, so when I was alone, I tried to walk by the side of the bed, but it hurt me dreadfully. After asking Sister Teresa of the Infant Jesus not to cure me, but to give me the use of my legs, I was able to walk. I am like an old woman doubled up over her stick. Our Mother takes me on her arm to the terrace.1 I am quite proud of my journeys, and am longing to show you how I make them ; 1 am sure you would laugh, for they are very comic. I am very glad to tell you the good news, as I know it will please you.
" Do not grieve about your Elizabeth ; the good God will leave her here with you a little longer, and when she is in heaven she will watch constantly over her mother, the kind mother she loves more dearly every day. Oh, darling mother, let us look above ! It rests the soul to think that heaven is our Father's house ; that we are expected there as if we were dearly-loved children returning home after exile, and i74 THE "PRAISE OF GLORY"
that He makes Himself our travelling companion to lead us there."
We never cross that little terrace without picturing Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity as she sat there, especially in the early morning, when she came to refresh her poor head, worn out by sleeplessness. She had hardly reached her armchair and thanked her dear infirmarian with a smile, when her eyes closed, and she seemed lost to all around her. " Laudem Gloria is absorbed in contemplation again," we said to ourselves ; indeed, she had not been distracted from it even during the night. She kept her Breviary beside her so as to join in the recitation of the little Hours. She held in her arms a statuette of our Lady from which she had never parted since a certain night when, during her divine colloquies, she happened to glance at a picture on the wall which represented the Mother of Sorrows. Touched at the sight, she felt conscious of an affectionate reproach and a tender, maternal urging to ask more of a mother's love. She owned to having thought less frequently of the Blessed Virgin for some time past, but since then her devotion to the Mother of heaven had redoubled. She asked her mother to give her a statuette of our Lady of Lourdes, from which she remembered having received many favours as a young girl, so that she who had " kept" her " coming in " might also " keep " her "going out."2 From that time she always called our Lady Janua cceli.
After this nocturnal visit the invalid wrote : " The Queen of Virgins is the Queen of Martyrs too ; but the sword transpierced her heart, for with her all passed within her soul.
CLOSE TO THE SANCTUARY
<c Oh, how beautiful she is in her long martyrdom ! how majestic in her strength and sweetness ! It is because she learnt from the Word Himself how those whom the Father selects as victims, those whom He chooses as associates in the great work of the Redemption, ought to suffer.
" She is there, at the foot of the cross, standing, strong and valiant, and my Master says to me, ' Ecce Mater tua.'3 He has given her to me for my Mother. And now that He has returned to the Father, and has put me in His place on the cross, our Lady is there to teach me to suffer as He suffered.
" When I have said my Consummatum est, it will be she, Janua cceli^ who will introduce me into the eternal courts, whispering to me the mysterious words : c Laetatus sum in his quae dicta sunt mihi, in domum Domini ibimus.'"f Meanwhile, Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity entrusted the Queen of Angels with the custody of the entrance to her heart, which was already heaven on earth.
" To-day I gave you with all my heart to our Lady," she wrote to her sister on the Feast of Mount Carmel : " I never was so fond of you before. I weep for joy at remembering that the Blessed Virgin, full of peace and light as she is, is my Mother. I delight in her beauty, being her child, and feel a daughter's pride in it. I am strongly attracted to her, and have made her queen and guardian of my heaven and of yours, too, for I do everything for both of us together."
later on.4
Janua cceli became the "wall and the bulwark" of Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity's favourite sanctuaries, so that we often found the little statuette on the threshold of a small tribune which overlooked the chapel. We knew when we saw the figure of the Immaculate Conception that our little sister must be near.
" I make long visits to my Master several times a day," she wrote to her mother, " and thank Him for enabling me to walk to Him. What a joy it is to me !
It was indeed a great consolation to her to be able to reach the infirmary tribune. How often Mother Prioress found her there, bent double with pain ! One day, when it was too dark to see her, the Prioress called her by her favourite name, " Laudem Gloria." The poor child, who was huddled together with suffering, tried to sit up, and with tearful eyes but smiling face answered : " 1 came to take refuge in my Master's prayer, for I need His Divine strength ; I am suffering so intensely."
The same thing often happened. " I met her one day on the landing of the infirmary, looking like a ghost," relates one of the nuns. " I asked her for some information, which she gave with her usual sweetness, as if she were quite well. I heard afterwards that she was on her way to the tribune to seek for strength to endure an almost unbearable attack.
u I often looked up at the tribune on passing it, but it seemed empty. Unless quite close to it, our dear little sister, crouched on the ground in a dark corner, could not be seen. She seemed to me a personification of prayer and pain."
The state of the little invalid grew worse ; she found more difficulty every day in taking any food. Through incessant headache and sleepless nights she kept up her courage by continual prayer.
c< Your dear letter gave me very great pleasure," she wrote to her venerable friend. " I like the thought of St. Paul you sent me. I think it is realized in me, on this little bed, the altar on which I immolate myself to Love. Pray that my likeness to the adored Image may be more perfect every day. The thought haunts me and brings strength to my soul in suffering. You have no idea how I feel the work of destruction being carried out throughout my whole being ! It is the road to Calvary set before me, on which I walk joyfully, like a bride, by the side of the crucified God.
" I shall be twenty-six on the eighteenth of this month. I do not know whether I am to end this year in time or in eternity.. I beg you again, as a child does its father, to consecrate me at Holy Mass as a sacrifice of praise to the glory of God. Oh, consecrate me so thoroughly that I may be no more myself, but Him, Jesus! and that the Father may recognize Him when He looks at me. May I be I made conformable to His death,' * and suffer what is wanting in His Passion ! Then bathe me in the Blood of Christ, that I may be strong with His strength. I feel so insignificant, so weak !
" Farewell, dear Canon A . I ask you to bless me in the name of the Holy Trinity, to Whom I am specially dedicated. Will you also consecrate me to the Blessed Virgin ? It was she, Mary Immaculate, who gave me the habit of Carmel, and I beg her to * Phil. iii. 10.
i78 THE "PRAISE OF GLORY "
clothe me with the robe of * fine linen,' * which the bride puts on to go to the Supper of the Lamb.
« p.S. On August 2 I shall have spent five years in the religious life."
On that day, August 2, she wrote the following lines to the Reverend Father V :
"Dear Reverend Father,
« I think that next year I shall keep your feast and St. Dominic's in the 'kingdom of the saints, in light.' This year 1 retire again into the centre of my soul to keep your feast there, and I want to tell you so. I also want to ask you, Reverend Father, to pray for me that I may be faithful and may climb my Calvary in a way worthy of the bride of Christ. ' For whom He foreknew, He also predestinated to be made conformable to the image of His Son.'f How I love this saying of the great St. Paul! It brings peace to my soul. I think that, in His « exceeding charity,' He has ' foreknown,' 'called,' and 'justified' me,| and while waiting for Him to c glorify ' me,5 I wish to be the continual < praise of His glory.' Father, ask this of Him for your little daughter. Do you remember? Five years ago to-day I knocked at the door of Carmel, and you were there to bless my entrance into solitude. Now. I am knocking at the ' eternal gates;' || and I ask you to bend down again and bless my soul on the threshold of my Father's house. When I am in the great furnace of love, in the bosom of the 'Three' to Whom you guided me, I shall not forget all you
X Ibid., 29, 30. S Ibid., 30. H Ps- xxm- 7- have done for me, and in my turn I long to give you to my Father, from Whom I have received so much. May I venture to tell you what I wish ? I should be so glad to receive a few lines from you, showing me how to realize the divine plan for me, and to be conformed to Christ crucified.
" Good-bye, Reverend Father. I beg you to bless me in the Name of the c Three,' and to consecrate me to Them as a little c Praise of glory/ "
" August 2.
"Dear Mother,
" Do you remember this day five years ago ? I remember it and so does He ! He has gathered up the blood of your heart in a chalice which will weigh heavy in the balance of His mercy !
" Yesterday I was recalling our last evening together, and how, as I could not sleep, I took my place by the window and remained there until nearly midnight in prayer with my Master. Last night was heavenly. The sky was so blue and calm, the convent in utter silence . . . and I thought over these five years so filled with graces. Dear mother, never regret the joy you have given me. Thanks to your fiat, I was able to enter this home of sanctity, and, alone with God, I have enjoyed a foretaste of the heaven to which all my soul is drawn.
" To-night I have made a second offering of your sacrifice of five years ago, that it may rain blessings upon her who is dearest to me. Live with Him. Ah ! how I wish I could make known to every soul what a source of strength, of peace, and of happiness as well, they would discover, did they only consent to live in this intimacy. But they will not wait. If God does not give Himself to them in a way that i8o THE "PRAISE OF GLORY"
they can feel, they leave His sacred presence, and when He comes laden with gifts, He finds no one ; the soul has gone out to exterior things, and does not dwell within itself. Recollect yourself from time to time, dear mother, then you will be quite close to your Elizabeth. . . ."
' Our little invalid felt that her end was near, and prepared her poor mother, who was also seriously ill, for the great sacrifice.
" Dear Mother,
" How well it is to speak of Him, and to rise above all that is passing and that will come to an end, especially suffering and separation ... to rise to where all is everlasting ! How it consoles your Elizabeth to be able to talk to you of her plans for eternity ! Do not forget that you promised, at the Elevation during holy Mass, to stand at the foot of the cross with our Lady, that you may each offer God your child together !
" How much we need trials to do the work of God within our soul ! The good God has an immense desire to enrich us with His graces but we regulate their measure, which is in proportion to our submission to His immolation of us — a joyful immolation, and a thankful one, like that of Jesus, in which we say with Him : * The chalice which my Father hath given Me, shall I not drink it ?'6 The Divine Master called the hour of the Passion ' the cause for which He had come 'f and for which He had longed. When some great suffering or insignificant sacrifice offers itself, let us think at once that this is our hour, the hour in which we are to prove our love for Him Who has loved us with an c exceeding charity.' Glean them all, darling mother ; offer a large sheaf, by never losing the smallest sacrifice. Your offerings will each be a ruby in the splendid crown your God is preparing for you in heaven. I shall go and help Him to make your diadem, and shall come with Him, on the day of our great meeting, to place it on the head of my dearest mother.
" Adieu { Let us love Him in very truth. We must draw courage from our union with Him. The soul that dwells in His presence is clothed with His strength, valiant in suffering."
At this time Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity was fascinated by the beauty of some of the finest passages of the Apocalypse, which brought before her visions of eternity that drew her towards the heights where the Spirit and the bride beckon one another. Feeling the need of more complete solitude, she asked permission to make a retreat which she began on August 15 as a preparation for her eternal retreat. She announced the good news to one of her sisters in the following terms :
" Janua cceli^ ora pro nobis /
" Laudem Gloria enters her novitiate of heaven this evening in preparation for her clothing with the habit of glory, and is anxious to recommend herself to the prayers of Sister A . I want to learn to identify, to conform myself with my adored Master, Who was crucified by love. Then I shall be able to fulfil my office of 4 praise of His glory ' and sing the eternal Sanctus here while waiting my entrance to chant it with the choir of heaven. Sister, let us fix our eyes on our Master so that the simple, loving gaze of faith may separate us from all else, and mayset a cloud between us and the things of this world. Our inner being is too richly endowed to be possessed by any creature. Let us keep all for Him and sing to our lyre with David : c I will keep my strength to Thee.' "7
During these days of blessings Sister Elizabeth was drawn to Calvary Her loved Master spoke to her, not in words, but by giving her fresh light regarding the love hidden in the cross. He showed her that her dreams of union would find their realization in suffering. The generous young nun, more inflamed with love than ever, was intoxicated with the Divine chalice whose bitterness was changed for her into unspeakable sweetness. She finished her retreat on the Feast of the Dedication of Churches of the Order, August 31. Sister Elizabeth, " House of God," had a special devotion for Feasts of the Dedication ; she renewed her consecration to the Three Divine Persons, and her love and zeal for their glory.
A special grace had been reserved for this last Dedication.
On the Feast of the Ascension, as the Mother Prioress, whose morning visit to the infirmary had been delayed, was explaining the matter to the invalid, she noticed that her face was transfigured with joy.
" Oh, Mother !" answered the little nun, " never mind about me. The good God has granted me such a favour that I have lost all idea of time. Early this morning I heard within the depths of my soul the sentence : ' If anyone love Me . . . My
Father will love him, and We will come to him, and will make Our abode with him,'* and at the same instant I realized its truth. I I could not tell you how the Three_ Divine Personslrevealed Themselves, \ but I saw Them, holding their counsel of love within me, and I seem to see Them still. Oh ! how great God is, and how He loves us!"
"Until that time," adds the Mother Prioress, " Sister Elizabeth had hoped that our visits would not be postponed ; now she said to me : c Do not feel anxious any longer about disappointing me. When you cannot come, you will know that I am with my Divine Guests. I cannot and ought not to care for anything else except to live in intimacy with Them, yl feel so clearly that They are there/ she \ said, clasping her hands above her heart.
" Henceforth, whenever I recommended any particular intention to her, she used to answer : * I will speak to my Almighty Counsellor,' as, after the Feast of the Ascension, she called the Three Divine Persons."
This intimate manifestation of the Holy Trinity crowned her life of persevering recollection with the grace of the Mystery which she ceaselessly adored within herself, (in that centre of our being where, St. John of the Cross shows It * hidden, but carrying on Its divine operation, j This seems to have been the supreme dedication of this little " tabernacle," whose translation into the eternal Temple was soon to take place ; so that the Feast of August 31, 1906, was, above all, a feast of thanksgiving.
As this would be the last retreat of the daughter she so dearly loved, the Mother Prioress said she * St. John xiv. 23.
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would like her to note down any striking thought that occurred to her. Sister Elizabeth would have found it difficult to describe the graces received by her from God in the simple, yet profound manner of which we have spoken. She guessed what her Mother wanted, and left her this keepsake of her prized solitude. " The last retreat of Laudem Gloria, " she said, as she gave the Prioress, on a certain anniversary, the manuscript prepared with the delicate instinct of a daughter's heart.
At a first glance, the pages, written during a course of exhausting and sleepless nights and such torturing pain that the poor child felt faint with agony, seem only simple notes on what she read in the Holy Scriptures, with her personal reflections on them ; but they are more than that. Sister Elizabeth told the Mother Prioress one day that she had striven in this little manuscript to explain how she understood her office of "praise of glory," and realized that while on earth we can live the life of heaven. This is the leading idea of her retreat as it was of her life. While scanning its pages we seem to read the predestined soul, which might have called them : " Reminiscences of a Soul " [Souvenirs intimes).
Footnotes
Chapter 15 of 19