20 — PROOF OF LOVE

Presence of God. — O Jesus crucified, deign to make me understand how the Cross is the greatest proof of love.

Meditation

1 — Jesus’ Cross, after the Incarnation, is the greatest proof of love He has given men; so too for us, mortification and suffering embraced spontaneously for love of Him are among the most beautiful proofs of love we can give Him. It is, in fact, a matter of freely renouncing one of our satisfactions, one of our pleasures, to impose on ourselves for love of God something that displeases and opposes us; this clearly shows that we prefer to satisfy God rather than ourselves. Every act of voluntary mortification, whether physical or moral, says to God not with words but with deeds: Lord, I love You more than myself! And since the soul in love ardently desires to give proof of its love, it is very vigilant not to let any occasion of renunciation escape.

In this sense St. Teresa Margaret of the Heart of Jesus had resolved to “never let pass an occasion that presented itself of suffering as much as she could, always in silence between herself and God” and, in reality, she used every means to “remain at all times and occasions in some act of suffering or bodily pain, so as never to satisfy, either in manner or in substance, any least and innocent appetite and desire, and to find ways of making burdensome and painful to the body even pure and inevitable necessities” (Sp. pp. 129 and 131). Her ardent love for God found an outlet in this generous and assiduous exercise of mortification.

With another expression St. Therese of the Child Jesus called this practice: “scattering flowers,” that is, using every least occasion of suffering to give God a proof of love. And, knowing that the value of mortification depends on the good and generous dispositions with which it is carried out, the Saint said: “I will always sing, even if I must gather my flowers among thorns” (St. 11).

2 — The value of voluntary mortification consists much more in the good will with which one practices it than in the intensity of the suffering one imposes on oneself, although this too can contribute, in the sense that a greater mortification requires greater good will. The measure of suffering must be wisely proportioned and limited according to each one’s physical strength; but what must never be limited is love, the spirit of generosity with which to carry out every act of renunciation. From this point of view, a slight mortification carried out with all the love of which a soul is capable is worth far more than a heavy penance done merely materially, without interior spirit. Therefore, before performing an act of mortification - especially when it concerns certain habitual practices, such as those in use in religious institutes - it is necessary to awaken good will, the sincere desire to suffer and offer something for love of God, so that it may not happen that one performs more or less mechanical acts and therefore of little or no value. Loving contemplation of the Crucified was the soul of all St. Teresa Margaret’s austerities: “This humbled and suffering God, ever poured into her thoughts, was what gave her the interior strength to overcome every very strong difficulty, what made her undertake spontaneously so many labors and works of charity and mortification, what made her insatiable in suffering” (Sp. p. 126). Contemplating the Crucified, the soul feels that, however much it mortifies itself for love of Him, its sacrifices, its renunciations, are as nothing and, rather than conceiving feelings of vain complacency for mortifications accomplished, it feels the need to humble itself and to do ever more. “Love sufferings much

• teaches St. John of the Cross - and esteem them very little in order to enter into the grace of the Spouse, who did not hesitate to die for you” (S.C. II, 15).

Colloquy

“O my Beloved, how shall I give You proof of my love if love is attested by works? I have no other means to attest my love to You than to scatter flowers, that is, to let no sacrifice escape me however small: a glance, a word, even in the least occasions, and do them for love. I want to suffer for love, and also for love to rejoice; and thus I shall scatter flowers. I shall not find one without stripping it for You..., and then I shall sing, I shall always sing, even if I must gather my roses among thorns; my song will be all the more melodious the longer and sharper the thorns are” (T.B.G. St. 11).

“O Lord, dispose of me as You please, for I am content with everything, provided I follow You on the way of Calvary, and the more thorny I find it and the heavier the cross, the more consoled I shall remain, for I desire to love You with patient love, with dead love, that is, wholly dissolved in You, and with operative love... My Lord, You on the cross for me and I on the cross for You. Oh, if only once I could understand how sweet and how precious suffering is: suffer and be silent for You, O Jesus! O dear suffering, O good Jesus!” (T.M. Sp. pp. 325 and 361). Yes, dear suffering because it allows me to give my God proofs of love; because, in the darkness of faith in which I must live here below, it gives me the certainty of loving not in words but with solid, effective love. O Jesus, now I understand why St. Teresa of Avila asked of You only one thing: “Either to die or to suffer” and said she had no other reason to live than that of suffering for love of You (Life 40, 20).

O Lord, if only I too could have such strong, true, burning love! Grant it Yourself, You who can give me all and who can in an instant transform into a furnace of charity this heart of mine so dry and so cold.