Chapter 49: Of the benefit we may derive from our faults

One night, as Gertrude was occupied in examining her conscience, she remarked that she had a habit of saying "God knows," without reflection and without necessity; and having blamed herself very severely for this fault, she besought the Divine Majesty never to permit her to use His sweet name lightly again. Our Lord replied lovingly to her : " Why would you deprive Me of the glory and yourself of the immense reward which you acquire every time you perceive this fault, or any similar one, and seri ously endeavour to correct it ? For when any one exerts

THE SPIF,:TUAL ADVANTAGE OP BODILY WEAKNESS. 245 himself to overcome his faults for love of Me, he offers Me the same testimony of fidelity and respect as a soldier would do to his captain when he courageously resisted his enemies in battle, overcoming them all, and casting them to the ground with his own arm."

After this, as the Saint rested on the bosom of her Lord, she felt a great weakness of heart, which she offered thus to Him : " My beloved Spouse ! I offer Thee this de bilitated heart, with all its affections and desires, that Thou mayest take pleasure therein according to Thy will." He replied : "I accept your offering of this weak heart, and prefer it to a strong one ; even as the hunter prefers what he has .taken in the chase to tame animals."

Although the infirmities of the Saint prevented her from assisting in choir, still she often went to listen to the Office, in order thus to exercise her body in some manner in the service of God ; and reflecting that she was not as attentive or recollected as she desired, she manifested her grief to her Divine Spouse, saying to Him, with a dejected heart : " What glory canst Thou receive, my loving Lord, from my sitting here in this idle and negligent manner, paying so little attention to what is said or chanted to Thy glory ? " Our Lord replied : " And what satisfaction would you not have if your friend presented you with a draught of newly-made and delicious mead, which you thought would strengthen you 1 Be assured, then, that I find infinitely more pleasure in every word, and even every syllable, to which you listen attentively for My glory."

At the Mass which was celebrated after, Gertrude felt unable to rise at the Gospel, and she doubted whether to spare herself or not on such occasions, as she had no hope of her recovery ; but she asked God, according to her cus tom, what would be most for His glory. He replied

" When, for love of Me, you do anything with difficulty, and which is beyond your strength, I receive it even as if I had an absolute need of it ; but when you omit anything to take due care of your body, referring all to My glory, I consider it in the same manner as an infirm person would consider some relief that it was impossible for him to do without : thus I will recompense you for both according tc the greatness of My Divine munificence."