6. Of the bereavement of the heavenly brightness on account of another hiding in her cell

On another occasion a kinsman of this virgin, Nicholas by name, went in to visit her with her confessor, and after they had had some conversation the modest virgin made known to them that she would like to be alone in her cell for two 1 We learn elsewhere that this man was a libertine.

3 In effect this rod was afterwards found most efficacious in exorcising persons possessed.

ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM or three hours. She asked them there fore to go out for a walk for a time, hoping that in their absence, on account of her interior recollection, she would receive some special grace.1 But in particular she asked Nicholas not to return before three or four hours. While therefore he did as she requested, the virgin's confessor without her know ledge secretly entered her cell. The virgin therefore, thinking that she was alone in the secret of her chamber, at once began to make herself ready to receive the grace of the heavenly spouse by devout prayers knocking at the inner gates of Heaven. And about half an hour after midday the angel of the Lord came in to her, flying around the place of the bed where the sick maiden lay, but he did not draw nearer to her. The virgin then, seeing that she could not enjoy his gladsome presence, being troubled, wept bitterly. She asked the angel, therefore, whether she had 1 This reminds one of what is related by the Ven. a Kempis himself. Conversing sometimes with the brethren in recreation, he would suddenly break off, and with the remark, " Someone awaits me in my cell," gently take leave of them to entertain himself alone with Jesus.

ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM offended the Lord by any fault whereby she had not deserved to enjoy this grace. But he answering, " By no means," said he, "but on account of the presence of him who is secretly seated in thy cell, and strives to examine and experience the grace prepared for thee." Having said this, the angel departed from her. Then the virgin, deprived of so happy a solace, was exceedingly saddened, and began to weep most bitterly, so that for a time she was not rapt in ecstasy, although she often enjoyed the grace of the angel's visit.1 Her confessor there fore, hearing her weep thus, rising, told her that he had been present. And learning this, she was the more dis tressed than if another had been there, because she had so often revealed her life to him, so that without any spying he might believe the divine grace which was wrought in her. When therefore she had recovered from this trouble, and had regained her peace, the loving and compassionate Lord, as He had often 1 The sense seems to be that, on account of the sadness, so intense as not to be without some im perfection, to which the servant of God gave way on this occasion, for some time afterwards she was not favoured by a complete ecstasy.

ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM done before, so also afterwards raised her in ecstasy above herself. Then was ful filled in her what is said by the psalmist : "Thou hast turned for me my mourning into joy : Thou has cut my sackcloth, and hast compassed me with gladness "