22. Of her insatiable desire to communicate often, and of the appearance of a child crucified

When our Saviour Jesus Christ was preaching the gospel of the kingdom of Heaven, among many heavenly words which He taught He uttered this most saving word of faith concerning the sacrament of His body. " He that eateth Me, the same also shall live by Me" (Jo. vi 58) ; to wit, eating Me either spiritually only, or also sacramentally and spiritually : or certainly he shall live now in the life of grace, and hereafter in the life of everlasting glory reigning with Me; for this the sacred Com munion of My body and blood signifies. Which faithful promise was undoubtedly fulfilled in this virgin, Christ most ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM lovingly working- His wonders in her. For although through nearly the first half of the period of her maladies she used very little nourishment and such as could not support nature, as is related in the first part of this book, and more over although for all the rest of her life she took almost no food or drink at all, nevertheless this holy servant of God could not entirely abstain from this living food and life-giving sacrament of the body of Christ. For as much as she languished by corporal infirmities in the body, and took less bodily food, so much the desire of the heavenly and divine food increased in her, and by means thereof she was strengthened in spirit and lived more spiritually within. Whence in the beginning of her sick ness for three or four years she was wont to communicate once a year at the feast of Easter, but afterwards with the beginning of the divine consolation for some years she received Christ twice a year. After that, when her mother was dead, so much did her desire increase, and so much was she drawn to com municate, that six times or more she received the Lord's body with full faith and special devotion unto the singular ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM solace and assistance of her soul; and she would have received the same more frequently if the Curd of the church had not refused her. Whence also, if some times she asked to receive the holy Communion of the body of Christ from him, very grudgingly and against his will he would come to her, over which she grieved much. For the longer she lay in her sickness the more she suffered and languished in the body, and the more she suffered in the body the more she burned in divine love, and the more she was on fire with divine love so much the more the grace of Almighty God worked in her.

After this a certain wondrous vision appeared to the virgin, on fire with the desire of communicating. For a certain visible likeness of a crucified Child1 with five wounds appeared to her lying in bed, which afterwards changed into a sacramental host with the same wounds hung in the air over the sheet of her bed, wherewith the virgin was in part 1 John Brugman informs us that on this occasion the Saint received the Stigmata, but that at her request these signs of the divine favour were con cealed by the partial covering of the wounds, which nevertheless continued to cause intense pain.

ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM covered. She sent therefore a mes senger to the Cure* of the church that he should come to her, and see Christ appearing to her in a host, which also certain others saw with their own eyes. Then she begged him to give her this host in Communion and not to dis trust her and the works of God. Hear ing this, although doubtful, he gave her the host of the vision, which the virgin begged to receive and received with reverence.1 After the wondrous ap pearance of this host and its devout reception the heart of the virgin was inflamed with so great a divine love and desire for holy Communion, that for many years she received the venerable sacrament of the Eucharist every fort night from the hand of the priest, who also was obliged to use for this great care and foresight, for otherwise she would not have been able to consume it for weakness. Afterwards, however, he would offer her a little water for the ablution, wherein, little as it was, she suffered such difficulty in her throat that she could scarcely swallow it. But 1 The author discreetly passes over in charitable silence the disgraceful behaviour of the Parish Priest on this occasion.

ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM sometimes he gave her no ablution, on account of the too great difficulty of receiving it. And this state as regards her communion endured indeed until the year of the Lord 1421. But from this time until her death she commonly suffered her quartan and sometimes daily fevers for the freeing of souls from Purgatory. During which period she burned with so great a divine love that usually, when at the time of the quartan fever she was not suffering a fever attack, she communicated from the hand of her confessor two days following. And this holy and venerable sacrament of the body of Christ was for the sick virgin, not only the spiritual refreshment of her soul, but also a certain relief and support of her afflicted body. Especially, however, at the time of the withdrawal of grace and bereave ment of divine consolation she received this most sacred banquet of the Lord's body more frequently as her singular support. For the interior grace of divine consolation, which she very often felt in abundance of spirit and joy of heart, was to her refreshment of body and soul ; and again, by its absence her body was so weakened that without spiritual ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM nourishment she could scarcely subsist and live in the body. Therefore, as has been said, she burningly thirsted for the body of Christ and received it as the support of life, lest she should die of weariness under the burden of suffering in the present pilgrimage. In the re ceiving of which she was frequently illumined with so great a divine light, that as with the bodily eyes she saw materially, so also, bathed with this supercelestial light, she saw all her interior with the eye of the mind. This same thing also befell her at other times in the presence of the divine light and the rapture of the contemplative life. Whence also afterwards, in the time of her dryness and the withdrawal of consolation, when by divine ordinance she did not experience this illumination, she would say within herself: " O where are now those days in which I was wont to behold my interior with the interior eye, as with the eye of the body I saw bodily things ? " And thus was fulfilled in her that saying of the Wise Man : " In the day of good things be not un mindful of evils; and in the day of evils be not unmindful of good things "