21. Of her grace of great compunc tion and abundant shedding of tears in the communion of the body of Christ

Now next something must be said of the state of this most devout virgin, as regards the holy Communion ; how by the breathing of divine grace she gradu ally made progress to higher gifts by frequently receiving the sacraments of the precious body of Christ. At that time therefore of her dryness, when the virgin, as yet unacquainted with spiritual sweetness, lay sick upon a bed of most bitter sorrow, there was a certain devout priest named Master John Pot ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM who was accustomed to communicate with her twice a year, and who first formed her to meditation on the Lord's Passion. He therefore, having a care for the salvation of the sick maiden, when one day he was about to communi cate her, taking- in his hands the sacred and spotless host he bade her very gravely and feelingly to look upon and receive Him Whom he held in his hand, knowing for certain that He was the Lord God her Creator Who had been made flesh, suffered and died for her, Who would also most abundantly recompense her for every affliction which she bore and would soften every pain. By which words she was at once exceedingly touched, and as it were wounded by certain fiery darts of love. And as before for grief of heart and impatience of feeling she could not cease from many tears, so also now for almost a fortnight or more she could not withhold her weeping for greatness of contrition and divine love. For she grieved and wept much over the blind ness of her past negligence and her continued dullness, in which she had been so long impatient and thoughtless that she could not receive the consola- ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM tion of her mother or of any man nor tell the cause of her tears to any. Now henceforth, having received the saving sacrament with great contrition, she commenced to be refreshed with fre quent divine consolations, although she did not yet go into ecstasy by the rapture of contemplation. And never theless she did not wish to make known the reason of her tears to those who questioned her, that she might not lose the hidden manna which she tasted, but might keep it in her heart the more safely by silence. And she enjoyed these consolations by divine dispensa tion for about eight years before she began to be rapt in ecstasy out of the senses of her body. With these two aids then, to wit, the holy Communion of the body of Christ and devout medita tion on the Lord's Passion, as by two loving arms she embraced her beloved spouse Jesus Christ ; and therefore she could confidently say with the spouse in the canticle of love, whose grace of ineffable sweetness she frequently felt in herself by experience: "A bundle of rnyrrh is my beloved to me, He shall abide between my breasts" (Cant, i 12). For as myrrh preserves the bodies of ST. LYDWINE of SCHIEDAM the dead from rottenness, so also the daily exercise of the passion of Christ preserved her mind from impatience and murmur. And as material bread strengthens him who eats, so the receiv ing of the body of Christ refreshing her spirit brought her life and joy.