Book III, Chapter I

Wheresoever thou findest thyself, renounce thyself

(On these words) — “ Wheresoever thou findest thyself, renounce thyself V*

Question. — When is it that a man finds himself?

Answer. — 1. It is when he feels a secret inclination to seek himself, away from God. When some; harsh or contemptuous word has been addressed to us,; we feel in our hearts a movement of indignation excited by pride against the person who we think has offended us. Thence arise sentiments of aversion and bitter- ness, quite contrary to peace of mind, and then we < find ourselves. For it is most evident that we are very sensitive to all that concerns ourselves, and that self-love is our ruling passion. A man truly dead to i himself, on such an occasion, humbles himself, and abandons himself to the hands of the Lord; even considering the loss of his property and the diminution of his honour as great advantages.

2. There is also another way of finding ourselves, and that is, when we appear to be forgotten, and those from whom we expect some marks of kindness, neglect us, abandon us, and reserve their favours for others. Then regret at seeing ourselves forgotten a The exact words have not been found, it is the substance of B. Hi. c. 37. iv. 2.

The following passages are like it — j

“ Learn in all things to overcome thyself.” B. Hi. c. 42. j

“ What do I require of thee more, than that thou study to 1 resign thyself entirely to me 1” B. iv. c. 8.

WHEN DO WE QUIT OURSELVES? 99

and despised, while others are objects of consideration,

I and overwhelmed with benefits; regret, I say, torments I and distresses us. We feel bitterly the wrong that is done us, and cannot avoid mourning and lamenting over it. This is properly what is meant by finding ourselves, for it is regarding ourselves as something,

and forgetting that in truth we are nothing. The things i which present themselves to our eyes, in general move and attract us, when we hope to profit by them; but in this very thing it is evident that we find ourselves, since our inclination and attachment to these things I is but one effect of the unregulated self-love which is I natural to us.

3. There is a third and last manner of loving our- J selves, quite different from the other two, and having nothing vicious; it is when we see ourselves menaced by some evil which we may reasonably avoid; as when we find a thing to be injurious to our health.

In which case we do well to abstain from it, unless some important reason calls on us to risk all. But this is not seeking ourselves in the sense of our Author. We seek ourselves, and to our own loss find ourselves, when thinking ourselves unjustly I attacked on some point which concerns our honour, or 1 even our life; we resent it, and try to do ourselves justice, which can proceed only from an excess of self-love.

I Question. — When do we quit ourselves?

j Answer. — When in the circumstances that we have mentioned, we always seek what is right, without any concern for ourselves, or regard for our own interests; and in order to do this three things are necessary.

1. The first is, to sacrifice to our Lord those resentments which arise sometimes from anger, sometimes from shame at seeing ourselves either despised or too k 2 j

100 WHEN DO WE QUIT OURSELVES?

little esteemed. We sacrifice them, either for the love of God, or by the consideration of the shame of Jesus crucified. It is by such thoughts that we try to make appetite yield to reason, and nature to grace, whether by repressing those unregulated movements, which trouble our peace of mind, or by turning our thought elsewhere, or by suppressing it with a thought of greater power. Thus, when I am deserted and, despised, I represent to myself the extreme contempt and desertion of the Saviour during His life and in His Passion; and this is like throwing water on the fire, or a great quantity of earth on a dead body, that this fatal and frightful object may be seen no more.

2. The second thing necessary to be done is, to commit all our interests and designs into the hands of our Lord. For innumerable things happen here below which we cannot foresee, and which give us pain, in which we commonly feel and show how far human weakness can go. A sovereign remedy against this evil, is to yield ourselves to the guidance of God, to trust in His infinite mercy, and to renounce all cares but that of obeying and pleasing Him. A wife, for instance, hears no news of her absent husband, and this disturbs her let her resign herself entirely to the Divine Will, and her spirit will be at rest. To be free from all trouble, we must, in like manner, commit to the disposal of Providence, our honour, our health, and our life.

3. The third thing is, to apply ourselves to some exercise contrary to the inward inclination which, at the present time, torments the mind. If my inclination then leads me to pleasure and indulgence, if I am excessively careful of my body and of my health, I must perform some penance, in order to prove that I am resolved to overcome my flesh, to hold it in subjection, and never weakly to yield to it.

If I feel some movement of pride and anger at being

WHEREIN TO QUIT SELF.

neglected, I must seek for an opportunity of prac- * tising gentleness and humility, by doing some good office to the person who seems to despise me. Thus we may quit and renounce ourselves, not only by not following the movement of nature, too sensitive to the smallest mortifications, but by resolutely opposi ing it, and doing the very contrary. Thus we break all attachment to self, we get rid of self-love, that irreconcileable enemy of divine love, and whenever we feel too earnest a desire for our own interests, we resist it with all our might, neglecting nothing.