Letter 81. To Father Gracian at Seville, Seville, towards the end of October, 1575

The Sainfs scruples. She asks for a confessor. Bishop Diego refuses to intervene in the affairs of the friars at Seville and the nuns in Castile. She asks Father Gradan not to issue letters ofexcomtnunication but to write to the General. Her private troubles.

JESUS!

The grace of the Holy Spirit be with you, my Father!

OH, if you only knew how downcast and scrupulous I feel to-day! I assure you that I am very wicked, and the worst of it is that I never amend.

I told the Bishop to-day what Fray Angel had done at Alba; he thought it was of no consequence and asked me how it would harm us if Frav Angel were to govern these houses and what he would do to us? I also mentioned certain events that happened at Medina' as since the Fathers made no secret of it, it did not seem to matter much what I said, and it would be well for him to understand something of these affairs for, in my opinion, he

' The original was first published by P. Grégoire.

has not got to the root of the matter. Yet I feel so scrupulous about it that unless some one comes to hear my confession I cannot receive Holy Communion. You see what help I get in the midst of my anxieties about your troubles!

I spoke to him of the other matter; he thought I had heard it from Padilla and I left him under that impression. According to him, however many superiors might come, even should the Archbishop of Granada, with whom they are very friendly, be among the number, nothing but force would make them submit. He added that they only discuss matters with him in order to find out whether he takes their side, that they listen to nothing he says, that he is under no obligation to make them obey, and is wronging no one if he does not choose to take part in the affair. And why should they pay attention to him.? His intervention would not aíFeól the main point, which requires settling by very different means. While retleiting upon his words, it seemed to me that he meant that these fathers would obey under pain of censure. He did not say so plainly nor need you take it seriously, as I may be mistaken. We are praying earnestly for them, and considering all things, it would be better for them to submit in order to avoid scandal in the town where they must have many partizans. God give them light ! If they do not submit, postpone sending them letters of excommunication until you see your way clearly. This is my opinion. You will know better than I, but I do not wish it to appear as though they were being forced discourteously.

The Bishop also told me that the friar " sent to court left for Rome without having spoken to the Nuncio, so they must recognize that their cause is no good one.

Write to me about your health for I know you do not lack anxieties, much to my grief. What a help such a wretch as I am is to your Paternity! God make me better and proted: you for me!

After all, the Bishop told me when I spoke to him of Fray Angel (for he takes no interest in the other and does not concern himself about him) that I ought to inform the Nuncio, who is our highest superior. But the more I cpnsider the plan of your writing in a conciliatory tone to the General, the better it appears to me, and I do not think any one could objed: to it. It is enough that such things should be done against his will, without showing him want of deference and treating him as though of no importance. Remember, my Father, we have promised him obedience, and nothing could be lost by treating him as I suggest. Your Paternity's unworthy daughter,

Teresa de Jesus.

The enclosed letter was brought by my brother. Tell me how your own brother is, for you never mention him and send me a priest here to-morrow to hear my confession. It is many a long year since I have had so much to suffer as I have had since these reforms were set on foot: whenever I talk about them I say more than I mean to and less than I wish.