Letter 95. To Father Gracian, at Seville, Malagon, June 15, 1576

The Saint's fears lest Father Gracian who has returned to Seville , should suffer at the hands of the Caked Carmelites. Illness of Mother Mary of St. 'Joseph. ProjeB of transferring the convent of Mala-gon to Par acuellas. St. Teresa s journey to Toledo with her brother. A sala?nander in her sleeve. No meals to be provided in the convent parlours. Father Gracian s health.

JESUS!

May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with you, my Father !

I WAS very glad to see the muleteer arrive today and it is some consolation to be able to send you this by so safe a messenger. I assure you that the thought of your being in Seville again, and the hurried way in which they brought you back, cause me the keenest anxiety. I realize that the best remedy for my cares would be to have you here, for when I think of how there will be one delay after the other about hearing news of you, I do not know how I shall be able to endure it. May God proted: you and let me see you delivered from these people!

I cannot think why they want to plunge your Paternity and all the rest of us into such turmoil and anxiety. Was it not enough to excommunicate Father Mariano and Father Prior? My one consolation is that Señor Dod:or Arganda is near you. Remember me very kindly to him and tell him how much I should like to meet him again. Do not forget to say that I beg him not to be too confident that these persons will not regain their liberty, even at the cost of other people's lives, to which they say matters will come if your Paternity returns. Therefore, in self defence, it is well to keep in mind what might happen if you fell into the hands of those so carried away by passion.

I assure you, my Father, that though your visit gave me great pleasure, yet I never regretted your absence during the late disturbances, which would have taken place none the less for your being present, while little résped: would have been shown to you or your authority.

I particularly wish to know whether you are

• The Caked Carmelites of Seville.

well, now that you are about to resume your long journeys. For the love of our Lord, I beg you to write to me promptly and to send your letters by various routes, for my inability to hear of you while at Avila will be an additional trial to me. Send the parcels sometimes via Madrid or Segovia, at other times via Toledo. You know that they must go by round-about ways on account of our present ditticulties. There are times when I am weary of waiting and since you know this, my Father, it would be very cruel to be careless, so if you cannot write a long letter, at least, let me know how you are. May our Lord give you good health, for the Order stands in need of you !

Write and tell me how affairs are going on: whether you were pleased to find St. Joseph's convent in such good condition and whether the ceremonies performed there have not made it popular.' Dired:ly I saw that the house was settled in some degree of peace I knew that God would not leave me there: may He be for ever praised !

The nuns here have a very bad house which appeared worse to me on coming from Seville. The Mother Prioress is better, though not well. I was extremely sorry about her illness and should have been more grieved but for the hope of her recovery, as the malady is a dangerous one and in her we should lose one of the best members of the Order. As for her faults, she seems to have so corrected them that she will never beimprudent again. I love her dearly, and all the more because of her affeólion for your Paternity and care for your health. Do not forget to pray for her, for one might say the convent at Seville would be lost without her.

I hastened to send a messenger to Doña Luisa and am awaiting her return. Unless matters are satisfactorily arranged, I am resolved on insisting on her installing the sisters in her house at Paracuellos until the convent at Malagon is ready. I believe the former is three leagues from Madrid and two from Alcalá; the place is very healthy. I should have liked her to have built the convent there, but she never wished it. I should prefer the nuns' remaining at Malagon now they are there, as the place is on the main road. As nothing better is to be had, God grant she may consent! 1 beg you to approve of it. We shall not wait for your permission as I expe¿l you will agree to it and we can do no otherwise. As for abandoning the convent as we did at Pastrana, the thing cannot possibly be done. If Doña Luisa does not reply favourably, I shall go to Toledo and send certain persons to interview her, remaining there myself until the matter is settled. Do not be anxious about it.

I arrived here in good health and the journey was easier than when made in a two-wheeled cart. I started at whatever hour I chose and my brother took good care of me. He kisses your hands. Travelling did not tire him and he feels well. He is a good man. If only he would consent to leave me at Toledo and go away himself! Then the difficulties would be overcome and we should often have news of you. But there is no means of getting him to do so. Teresa amused us on the road and gave no trouble.

Oh my Father, what an accident I met with! We were in the granary of an inn that was too bad for us to enter (and thought ourselves lucky to get that), when a large salamander or lizard slipped up my arm between the tunic and the flesh. It was God's mercy that it was my arm it attacked or I believe 1 should have died of fright though my brother seized it at once and, in throwing it away, struck Antonio Ruiz in the mouth with it. The latter has been a great help to us during the journey. So has Diego: will you reward him by giving him the habit promptly: he is a little angel. 1 think it was through him that a nun entered whom I far prefer to Catalina. I must take the latter away from here; her health seems to have improved very much but she is extremely anxious to leave Malagon

The invalid has completely lost her wits. Your Paternity may feel sure she was in this state when she ad:ed in the way of which you know. She declares her motive was the glory ot the Order.

Mother Prioress desires to be very kindly remembered to you ; she says she does not write for fear of tiring you. She gets up and walks about, but is so fond of going everywhere and so aólive that it prevents her recovering rapidly. When you go to our convent you must be very kind to Sister Gabriel' who is in great grief. She is as simple as an angel and has an excellent spirit. I owe much to her.

Will your Paternity forbid any sort of meal being given in the parlour to any one under whatever pretext. It causes no little worry to the nuns and they are very reludtant to offer food, except to yourself, about whom there should be no question when you require it. I am even more reluctant that they should; I have told them so, for many abuses might thus creep in. It suffices

'' Brianda (Bernardina) de San José (de Mendoza), a native of Burgos, was, while still a novice, taken by St. Teresa to the foundation at Toledo where she was professed. The Saint made her Prioress of Malagon where she became consumptive. Being very young and inexperienced, she made mistakes entailing the troubles frequently mentioned in these Letters. St. Teresa, who recalled Brianda to Toledo so as to tend her, did not hesitate in saying that 'should she die, the Order would lose its best member.' After the Saint's death, Brianda became stronger and was twice made Prioress of Toledo, where she died soon after her second election in 1585. {CEuvres, III, 418.)

to say that they themselves would have nothing to eat if they gave to others, as alms are scarce, though the sisters would not say so but would prefer depriving themselves of food, which is only the least of the drawbacks to the custom. While I was at Seville, I saw to it that they were in want of nothing and that the convent provisions were not taken. But all such things are a beginning of what may lead to much harm. Let your Paternity feel sure that the matter is of great importance, and the nuns will be very glad that you desire the observance of the rules made and confirmed by Fray Pedro Hernandez. All the sisters are young, and believe me, my Father, it is safer for them to have nothing to do with the friars. This is more dangerous than anything else in our communities, for although all is holy at present, I know what may come of it if the matter is not regulated at once, which is the reason I insist upon it. Forgive me, my Father, and may God be with you!

May His Majesty preserve you for me and give me patience to bear being kept until now without a letter from you !

I reached here on Whit Monday and to-day is the Friday following. I passed through Almodovar where Fray Ambrosio gave me a hearty Welcome but I was grieved at the departure of Father Baltasar for Toledo. I do not know why Father Mariano makes him run into danger when there is risk enough at a distance. . . . God grant that this foundation may succeed. . .'°for I think it will be very useful. ... I had written as far as this when

'" Some words are missing in the autograph.

Doña Luisa's answer came. She says she is going to send a very capable workman this week, but her letter pained me.

I forgot to tell you that Fray A ... o came to speak to me at Seville about the Subprior who is worn out with pain in his head. He ought to ask you to send him elsewhere. He is a good man and it would be right to take care of him. I think he would get well at Almodovar where he would have sufficient nourishment. As the Prior is away, a Vicar must be named and Father Gregorio" might replace him. I think that all would go well in that case. The more I see of the latter, the more perfect he seems to me; you will see to the matter.

The one thing I ask of your Paternity is to take care of yourself, and not to negleób your health so as to leave us undefended. I know that the Mother Prioress who came from here' will do all that is needed: she will ask for help and I will find some one who will provide for it. I tell you this that you may ask the Prioress for whatever you require. We are sending her the money for it to-day and all the requisites; besides that, I left some reales with Sister Gabriel — I cannot remember how many, but very few. You must not be surprised at my not tolerating such licence for the other friars at Seville, but your health evidently requires care — besides, I feel very anxious about your spending this summer in that city. Our precautions in providing for you are not taken because we doubt that the Prioress, Subprioress, and all the sisters there would not do the same for you, but because perhaps they may receive but meagre alms, and your Paternity, seeing this, might be very reserved about your needs. God grant that your health may be good and may He proted: you for us! We shall bear with your absence although it will be trying.

Your Paternity's unworthy servant and subjedt,

Teresa de Jesus.