Letter 231. To Father Gracian, Avlla, May 14, 1578

Father Gracians health and work. The clothing of his sister at Valladolid. The convent of the Incarnation, Money matters. ProjeB of foundations at Villanueva de la Xara and Madrid.

Jesus be with your Paternity.

1HAD written this letter and was just about to send it when our Discalced brethren arrived and gave me those from your Paternity. I assure you that they restored my health, for I received those I enclose from Malagon last night, and the fatigue of reading and answering them increased a severe cold in the head from which I am suffering, but the pleasure your letters gave me has revived me. God be praised for granting you the strength to render Him such service and help so many souls. It is an immense consolation to me.

Yet I should be glad if you were here, for the distri(5l in which you live must be very unhealthy as no rain has fallen. I do not know why you prefer it to Avila unless it is that God, Who knows the future, has chosen this season for you to minister to these souls, and your efforts cannot but bear much fruit.

Iforgot'to say in the enclosed letter how annoyed I feel at Fray Hernando Medina's having given the habit to our novice. I do not know why that foolish prioress is so anxious to please the Calced fathers. The letter from Fray AngeP which I transmit to you shows that they knew you were to come with your sister. I am glad that you did not as now you can make your visit satisfactorily. I have already written to Ardapilla/ asking him to persuade you to go there, and explaining some of the reasons why your presence is required. In fa(5l, even if you do not wish it, you must come for it cannot be avoided.

I have been thinking what a comfort it would be to me to have my daughter Maria de San Jose here with me, for her good handwriting, intelligence, and cheerfulness would be a help to me. May God bring it about after her profession, though young girls do not care for being with old women. I even wonder at times that your Paternity does not weary of me, unless it is that God so decrees in order that I may be able to bear my life in which I have so little health and pleasure except in your company. I even think that one who receives favours from God and loves Him truly cannot but like to be with a person who desires to serve Him.

It will try me severely if Ardapilla comes here with his old refrain about the Incarnation. I sent to ask your Paternity whether his authority gives him the right to order me to go there, and you did not answer. I must tell you that I should resist to the uttermost, for it would be useless to be there without the former confessors and while the convent remained under the authority of the Calced fathers. But if I am obliged to undertake the office under pain of sin, you see that I am helpless. For charity's sake, speak decisively, saying clearly what I may and what I may not do: you ought not to write so obscurely on such matters.

Pray much for me, because I am very old and worn out, though my desires are vigorous. I will give the sisters your kind messages. I wish your Reverence would come here with the Prior of Mancera. I assure you that I think you will be wasting time where you are, for it will not be the season for sermons.

What a disturbance those other nuns are making about the hundred realesl Was I not right in saying that it was necessary to be very cautious in making Visitations? Another superior comes later on and it is most important to give him no cause for complaint. I am very angry, for the sister could perfed:ly well have given you the money, as she has control over such affairs and she is not in much need of it.

It matters little about Fray Antonio; but however slightly he may blame me, if it reflefts upon my Paul I cannot endure it, though I care nothing for what he says of me.

May God protecfl you, my Father! It is a great grace for me that, as these fathers say, you should be growing stout in spite of all your work. May He be for ever praised! Dona Yomar was highly delighted with your letter: she is well.

This is the fourteenth of May, and I am your Paternity's true daughter,

Teresa de Jesus.

Fortunately for me, this long letter to you has not harmed me so much as the one which I wrote to Malagon: on the contrary, it has done me good. As for the foundation at Villanueva, it is not to be thought of if the Franciscans oppose it. The place suits them, but they would have taught our sisters to beg. Your Paternity is right: small towns are terrible for us. A foundation at Madrid is what we require and there is a good opportunity of starting it at once. Believe me, it is an important matter, as also that we should make Roque de Huerta a present.