Letter 316. To Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, la Serna, Near Avila, Toledo, April 10, 1580

Trouble caused by their brother, Pedro de Ahumada. The Saint's departure for Segovia.

JESUS! May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with your Honour.

| ASSURE you that I think God is allowing this poor, man to try us in order to test- how much charity we possess. In faét, brother, I feel so little for him that it grieves me, for, if he were only my neighbour, instead of being my brother, I ought to sympathize with his needs, but I have little pity for him. To overcome myself, I consider how 1 until you answered this letter, though he feels certain ‘that no good will come of it. However, as he realizes his desperate condition, he has at last consented. For charity’s sake, send a speedy reply to the Prioress of Avila, whom I am asking to forward the letter to me by the first available messenger.

I think that the unexpected sadnessof which you complain is caused by our brother’s departure. God is very exacting in His requirements, and if, as I believe, Don Pedro is insane, it is clear that you are under a stricter obligation of the law of perfection to help him to the best of your ability, to prevent his going to meet his death. You should retrench your alms in other quarters in his favour, on account of his relationship to you. I do not see that you are indebted to him in other ways, but Joseph'was still less indebted to his brothers.

Believe me, when God gives such graces as He has given to you, He expects great things in return, and this is one. Besides, I assure you that if our brother died on the journey, you, with your nature, would never cease to mourn him, nor, perhaps, would God cease to reproach you, sO we must consider the matter lest we make a mistake which cannot be remedied. If you lay the question before God as you ought to do, you will recognize that you will be none the poorer for what you give Pedro, as His Majesty will repay you in other ways.

You allowed him two hundred reales for clothes, besides his board, and many other things at your house, Though the latter may have seemed to

TO DON LORENZO DE CEPEDA 2 5 amount to nothing, yet perhaps, in the end it cost more than you thought. He has enough remaining of what you gave him to live where he likes this year. If you pay him another two hundred reales a year besides his allowance for clothes, he can board with his sister, who he says has invited him to her house, or with Diego de Guzman. The latter gave him a hundred reales which he will spend on his journey. Another year you must not give Don Pedro all the money at once, but pay a small sum at a time to the person with whom he is boarding, for as far as I can see, he will not be long in one place. It is very sad, but I consider that any change which takes him from your house is for the better. You must reckon part of this sum as a present to me; you would let me have it if I needed it and I shall take it as a gift, though I heartily wish that I were not obliged to burden you. For many a day I have been wishing that Don Pedro were not in your house, and have grieved at seeing you so tormented, besides the dread I mentioned which beset me.

I will only add that I will procure the despatches from Father Nicolas. I believe he is bringing them from Seville: he says he will visit me.

I am very glad little Lorencico is so near you: God be with him! I shall try to shorten my stay here, as I never feel well in this place. God willing, I shall go to Segovia. Fray Antonio de Jesus says that he will pass through Avila, if only for the sake of seeing you. Father Gracian is not here now.

Remember me kindly to Don Francisco. To-day is Quasimodo Sunday. The unworthy servant of your Reverence, Teresa de Jesus.