Letter 319. To Father Gracian, Alcala, Toledo, May 5, 1580

A case of conscience. News from Rome. The Madrid foundation. The communities of Segovia and Toledo.

JESUS !

May the grace of the Holy Spirit be with your Paternity. | RECEIVED your letters yesterday after the one relating to the Reétor of Alcala. I consulted Dofia Luisa on the subjeét, also the lawyer Serrano, whose answer I enclose.

I am very glad that, in the discussion of which you speak, your Paternity supported the stricter opinion,’ for though these fathers give strong reasons to the contrary, it is terrible, at such an hour not to take the safer course, but to consider points of honour. Worldly honour has then had its day, and the soul begins to realize that the divine honour js all we.should care about. Perhaps these theologians think that to recall the enmity might do greater harm, but God will certainly provide the grace needed when we resolve to a@t solely for His sake. You have nothing to regret in this case, but it would be well to make some excuse for these fathers,

But I regret that you are working in the midst

TO FATHER GRACIAN 31 of this fever epidemic. Thank God, you are well, for, as I wrote to your Paternity, my illness is of no account. Only debility remains, but I spent a terrible month though I kept on my feet most of the time, for being accustomed to continual suffering, I thought that, severe as the pain was, I could manage to get about. I really believed I might die, though I did not feel certain I should, nor did I care whether I lived or died. God has granted me this grace which I value as a great one, considering the dread I used to feel.

I was glad to see that letter from Rome, for though the decree is slow in coming it seems sure. I do not understand what revolutions it could stir up when it arrives, nor why. It would be well for your Paternity to await the arrival of the Father Vicar Fray Angel, even should no other occasion offer; lest it should appear that you were impatient to carry out his commission, for he will notice everything.

I have written to Veas and to Fray John of the Cross, telling them that you will visit them, and mentioning the commission which Father Angel informed me he had given to you. At first I thought of keeping it secret, but as the Father Vicar had announced it to me, there seemed no reason for silence. I heartily wish that no time should be lost, yet in case our documents should arrive soon, it is far better to wait, for we shall then be able to act more freely, as you say.

Though there is no need for you to visit me, I

‘ The Brief constituting the Discalced as a separate province, which was given on the 22 of the following June.

was much gratified by your offer of coming, if I wished it. lt would be a great gratification to me, but I fear that these brethren of ours would notice it and the long journey would tire you. I must content myself with the thought that you must come some time or other, and | hope there will be a leisure day on which I can relieve my soul by consulting your Paternity about certain matters.

When I am a little stronger, I shall try to obtain an interview with the Archbishop. It he gives leave for the foundation at Madrid, it would be infinitely better to receive the candidate® there than elsewhere, for our nuns are so disappointed if they do not enter the house of their choice that it distresses me. ‘This is why, until the Madrid affair is settled, | have neither asked the Prioress of Segovia to receive her nor insisted upon this community’s admitting her, though I believe that even if the prioress did not wish it, all the nuns would like to have her. It would be late to mention the matter now, as the Father Vicar has written telling me that I must start as soon as my health allows it, which has made me scrupulous,

The community at Segovia is a large one and it would matter little to them if they took another postulant, even though she had no dowry. If you think well of it, I will write to the pfioress, and will ask her to receive the girl, which will aid the matter greatly. That convent has given little or nothing to help in all these affairs, and it would