Chapter 58
That we must be diligent to find out the knowledge of ourselves; and by what means this may be done; and that it is fit for us to have some private place, into which we may daily retire ourselves for a tyme.
BY that which here is said, and by much more, which hath been said by the Saints, in praise of the knowledge of ones self, thou wilt find how necessary this jewel is, for the coming afterward to know God. And since thou hast a mind, to build a house in thy soul, for so high a Lord, know thou, that1 not the high, but the humble of hart, are his houses. Therefore let thy first care be, to dig deep, in the earth of thy littleness; till having freed all that which thou hast, from being esteemed by thyself, thou come at last, to the firm stone, which is God; upon which, & not upon thine own false earth, or sand, thou art to build thy house. For this did the blessed S. Gregory say, Thou who thinkest to raise up a building of virtues take into the first part of thy care, the foundation, which is humility for he that pretendeth to have virtue without it, is like a man that would carry ashes in his hand, against the wind This he saith, not only because virtues do not profit men without humility (though rather indeed without it, they be no virtues) but for that they are an occasion of great perdition, as a great building upon a sleight, and weak foundation, would be sure of a great fall.
According therefore to the height of other virtues, the foundation of humility is to be laid low; to the end that the soul may be firm, and not puffed first up, & then down by the wind of Pride. And if thou say, where shall I find this precious jewel of the knowledge of myself? I tell thee, that although it be of great value, yet2 art thou to find it in the stable; and in the midst of the dung of thine own povertyes, and infirmities, removing thine eyes from looking on the lives of others. Do not busy thyself to know curious things; but turn in thy sight, upon thy soul: and continue in examining of thyself. And although at the first, thou canst not lay hold upon this knowledge (like one that goeth out of a bright Sunshine, into a dark chamber,) yet3 by continuing, in a quiet manner, thou shalt see, by little & little, with the grace of God, whatsoever is in thy hart, though it lie in the most secret corners thereof. And that thou mayst know the means, which thou art to use, in a thing that doth so highly import thee, give ear to S. Hierome, who speaketh thus to a married woman. In such sort art thou to have care of thy house that thou also mayst find some resting place for thy soul. Seek out some fit corner, and retired from the noise of thy family, to which I would have thee go, as one doth into a haven flying from the stiff tempest of thy cares. And there be thou in reading of spiritual books and continual prayer, and in the thoughts of another life, and they so firm, as that all the employments of the rest of the day, may be made light to thee, by this time of thy retreat. Nor do I yet say this, to withdraw thee from the government of thy house, but rather that so thou mayst learn thereby, and consider how thou art to carry thyself therein. If this Blessed Saint do recommend to a married woman, that she free herself from the business of her house for some time, and retire herself into some quiet place, to read, and think of heavenly things; with how much more reason is it, that a Virgin of Christ, who is free from worldly cares; and who should think that she liveth not for any thing else so particularly, as to frequent prayer, & to practise both interior and exterior recollection, should seek out some private, and hidden place of her house, wherein she may have her devout books, and devout pictures; and that the same place may be only deputed, to the use of seeing, and tasting, how sweet our Lord is.
The state of Virginity which thou hast taken, is not meant for this, that thou shouldst be wrapped up in the cares of this world, which pass & perish. But as it carrieth resemblance to the4 state of celestial spirits (for as much as concerns the entiernes & incorruption of the flesh) so thou art to think (to the very out side of thy power) that no thought of earth must have entrance into thy hart; but thou art to be a living Temple, wherein the sacrifice of continual prayers may be offered, and praises of him that made thee, sounded forth without intermission. Let this only thought possess thy hart: how thou mayst please our Lord, as5 S. Paul saith. Give thyself, for dead, to the world, since thou hast espoused thy soul to a celestial King. And6 remember what he saith to the Spouse, A7 garden shut up, O my sister and my spouse; a garden shut up. For not only art thou to be kept clean in thy body, but thou art also to be very retired, & recollected in thy soul. And because Virginity is embraced among Christians, not only for what it is in itself; but because it helpeth to give the soul to God, with more freedom of spirit; that Virgin, who is content with the only Virginity of her body, and is not careful of progress in virtue, and prayer, and taking gust in God; what other thing doth she, then dwell upon the way; and not procure to arrive to the journey's end? And it were, as if thou hadst all things ready to sew, and work, and shouldst never set thyself about it.
A shameful thing it is for any Christian not to exercise himself in reading of spiritual books; and not to carry holy thoughts in his soul; but for a Religious man not to do it, or for a Priest, or for a Virgin, who have given themselves away to Christ, is not only a thing shameful, but unsufferable. And therefore, if thou wilt reap the fruits of that holy Virginity, which thou hast promised to Christ, be an enemy both of seeing, and being seen. Go abroad the least thou canst, though it be even to holy places, & good works; for so it is fittest for young folks. Do not plunge thyself into transitory cares; & when thou hast done working some what with thy hands, (which being moderately used, will do thee good, both in soul and body) & having complied with thy obligations, either of necessity, or Charity (according to that rule of life which hath been prescribed to thee) take as much time as thou canst, to be shut up in thine Oratory. And although at the first, it may chance to go against thy stomach; thou wilt come to find, that they are the affairs of heaven which are treated there; and that thou takest not so much gust in the expense of any time, as that which thou spendest there in peace.
Footnotes
Chapter 60 of 115