Chapter 62

That the daily examination of our faults, helpeth much towards the knowledge of ourselves; and of other great benefits which this practice of Examen doth bring; and of the profit which cometh to us, both by the reprehension of others, and those also which our Lord doth interiorly send us.

TO end the Exercise of thy knowing thyself; two things there remain, for thee to hear. The first, that a Christian ought not to content himself, with entering into judgement before God, for the accusing himself of those sins which in former times he had committed; but of them also, which he committeth daily; because thou wilt hardly find a thing so profitable, for the reformation of thy life, as to take account how thou spendest it; and of the defects which thou dost fall into. For that soul, which is not careful to examine her thoughts, and words, and deeds, is like to some lazy husbandman, who hath a vineyard, and who, as Solomon saith, passed by it, and saw the hedge fallen down, & the vineyard itself full of thorns. Make account that they have recommended the daughter of some King to thee, of whom thou art to have continual care, that she be well taught; and that, at night; thou take account of her; reproving her for her faults, and exhorting her to practise virtue. Consider thy self¹ as a thing recommended to thyself by God; and teach thyself to know, that thou art not to live without a law, or rule; but in a holy kind of subjection, and under the discipline of virtue; & that thou shalt² never do any one thing, that is i●●, but thou shalt be sure to pay for it.

Enter³ as it were, into the chapter-house with thyself, towards night; and judge thyself very particularly, as thou wouldst do any third person. Reprehend thyself, and punish thyself for thy faults; and preach thou more to thyself, then to any other body, how much so ever thou love him: and where thou findest most fault, there procure to apply most remedy. For believe me, that by the continuance of this examen, and reprehension of thyself, thy thoughts cannot continue long without being reform. And thou shalt arrive to a science, which will do thee much good; and it will make thee weep, & not swell; and it will keep thee, from that dangerous infirmity of pride, which entereth even insensibly, by little and little; a man thinking well, and taking contentment in himself.

Be very watchful against the approach there of; and preserve thyself with all care. Take not thyself into good conceit, but know, by the light of truth, how to reprehend, & be displeasing to thyself; and so the mercy of God willbe near thee, in whose right they only are pleasing, who are displeasing in their own. And he pardoneth their faults, with a great liberality of goodness, who know them, and who humble themselves for them, with⁴ a true judgement, and who lament them, by their will. Thou shalt also hereby, decline two other vices, which are the ordinary companions of pride; and they are, ingratitude, & sloth For by knowing, and misliking thy defects, thou wilt see thy weakness, and thy unworthiness, and the great mercy of God, in suffering, & pardoning thee, & in bestowing benedictions upon thee, who hast deserved misery; and by this means, thou wilt be grateful. And on the other side, considering the little good thou dost, & the many sins which thou committest; thou wilt be awaked, out of the sleep of sloth, and wilt every day begin with new fervour, to serve our Lord, seeing the little that thou hast done hitherto.

For this, and many other benefits, which grow, from a man's knowing, and reprooving himself, a holy old man of ancient times, being asked, whether a man might be more secure, by serving God in solitude, or in company of others, did answer, That is he knew how to reprehend himself, he might be every where safe; and if not, that he would be every where in danger. And because, through the inordinate love which we bear ourselves, we cannot know, or reprehend ourselves, with that unpartial judgement which truth requires, we must⁵ thank that person that doth it for us. And we must earnestly beseech our Lord, that himself will rebuke us with love; bestowing upon us light and truth, that so we may believe of ourselves, as we ought, in very deed, to believe. And this is that, which the prophet⁶ jeremy desired, saying, Correct me o Lord in judgement, and not in sury; lest otherwise, thou do turn me into nothing. To correct with fury, doth belong to the last day; when God will send the wicked to hell, for their sins; and to correct in judgement, is to reprehend his children in this world, with the love of a Father. Which reprehension, carrieth a great testimony with it, that God loveth such a person. Nor is there any other so sure an one, as that; nor which bringeth so good news, as being the preface to us of our receiving great favours, from God. So doth S. Mark relate, that our Lord Jesus Christ, appearing to his disciples, did⁷ reprehend them, of incredulity, and hardness of hart; and then he after, gave them power to do wonderful things. And the prophet⁸ Isay saith, That our Lord, doth wash away the uncleanness of the daughters of Zion; and the blood, out of the middle of Jerusalem, in the spirit of judgement, and in the spirit of heat. Giving us so to understand, that for our Lord to wash way our faults by coming to us, is first to make us know who we are, and this is judgement. And afterward he sendeth in, a spirit of heat, which is love, and that provoketh us to grief, and so he washeth us, giving us pardon by his grace.

Of this we must not presume, to allow ourselves any part of the glory; since it is he, who first, gave us, to understand our own wickedness, and rashness. Nor⁹ yet art thou to conceive, that this reprehension is any afflictive kind of thing, which may excessively oppress thy soul, by making it offensive to thee. For any such disposition as this, is either of the Devil, or of a man's own spirit: and it must be fled. But it is a quiet knowledge of a man's own faults: and as a judgement of heaven, which is pronounced in the soul; & which makes this earth of our infirmity, quake with shame, and fear, and love; which clap spurs into the sides, to make it mend & to serve our Lord, with greater diligence. Yea it gives a man much confidence, that our Lord loveth him, as his son, since he exerciseth the office of a Father with him, as it is written. And¹⁰ whom he loveth he correcteth. Be therefore careful, to behold, and reprehend, and to present thyself, in the presence of God, before whom, an humble acknowledgement of our own faults, is a matter of more security, than the proud altitude of any other science. And be not like some, who love to have themselves in good estimation; & who because they are loath to think ill of themselves, they take pleasure in spending much time, to think of other devout things: and, to pass lightly over the knowledge of their own defects, because they find no savour in them, since they take no pleasure in the contempt of themselves. Whereas in very Truth, there is nothing so safe, nor which so maketh God, withdraw his sight from our sins, as for us to see, and to reprehend them, with grief, and penance; As it is written; If we did judge ourselves, we should not be judged by God.

Footnotes

1. The great obligation which we have to look to our souls. ↩

2. Mark this well. ↩

3. An earnest & an excellent lesson concerning the strict examination of our conscience. ↩

4. But it must be a true one. ↩

5. A hard lesson; but by the goodness, and grace of our Lord Ie●●●, it is learned & practised, by 〈◊〉 in the Catholic Church. ↩

6. jerem. 10. ↩

7. Mare. 10. ↩

8. Isa. 4. ↩

9. A description of that true ●orrow for sin, which is of God. ↩

10. Prou. 3. ↩