Letter V. To the Same

Means to arrive at perfection in the state of marriage.

Madam, — I cannot give you all at once what I have promised, because I have not sufficient free hours to put together all I have to tell you on the subject you want me to explain. I will tell it you at several times: and besides the convenience to me, you will find the advantage of having time to ruminate my advice properly.

You have a great desire of Christian perfection: it is the most generous desire you can have: feed it and increase it every day. The means of gaining perfection are various according to the variety of vocations: for religious, widows and married persons must all seek after this perfection, but not by the same means. For to you, madam, who are married, the means are to unite yourself closely to God, and your neighbour, and to what belongs to them. The means to unite yourself to God are, chiefly, the use of the Sacraments, and prayer.

As to the use of the Sacraments, you should let no month go without communicating; and even, after some time, and under the advice of your spiritual fathers, you will be able to communicate more often.

But, as to confession, I advise you to frequent it even more, especially if you fall into some imperfection by which your conscience is troubled, as often happens at the beginning of the spiritual life: still, if you have not convenience of confession, contrition and repentance will do.

As to prayer, you should apply to it much; especially to meditation, for which you are, I think, well suited. Make, then, a short hour every day in the morning before going out, or else before the evening meal; and be very careful not to make it either after dinner or after supper, for that would hurt your health.

And to help yourself to do it well, you must previously know the point on which you are to meditate, that in beginning your prayer you may have your matter ready, and for this purpose you may have the authors who have treated the points of meditation on the life and death of our Lord, as Granada, Bellintani, Capiglia, Bruno. Choose the meditation you wish to make, and read it attentively, so as to remember it at the time of prayer, and not to have anything more to do except to recall the points, following always the method which I gave you on Maunday Thursday.

Besides this, often make ejaculatory prayers to our Lord, at every moment you can, and in all companies; always seeing God in your heart and your heart in God.

Take pleasure in reading Granada's books on prayer and meditation; for none teach you better, nor with more stirring power (mouvement). I should like you to let no day pass without giving half an hour to the reading of some spiritual book, for this would serve as a sermon.

These are the chief means to unite yourself closely to God. Those to unite yourself properly with your neighbour, are in great number; but I will only mention some of them.

We must regard our neighbour in God, who wills that we should love and cherish him. It is the counsel of St. Paul, who orders servants to serve God in their masters and their masters in God. We must exercise ourselves in this love of our neighbour, expressing it externally: and though it may seem at first against our will, we must not give up on that account: this repugnance of the inferior part will be at last conquered by habit and good inclination, which will be produced by repetition of the acts. We must refer our prayers and meditations to this end: for after having begged the love of God, we must always beg that of our neighbour, and specially of those to whom our will is not drawn.

I advise you to take care sometimes to visit the hospitals, comfort the sick, pity their infirmities, soften your heart about them, and pray for them, at the same time giving them some help.

But in all this take particular care that your husband, your servants, and your parents do not suffer by your too long stayings in church, by your too great retirement, and giving up care of your household. And become not, as often happens, manager of others'' affairs, or too contemptuous of conversations in which the rules of devotion are not quite exactly observed. In all this charity must rule and enlighten us, to make us condescend to the wishes of our neighbour, in what is not against the commandments of God.

You must not only be devout, and love devotion, but you must make it amiable, useful, and agreeable to every one. The sick will love your devotion if they are charitably consoled by it; your family will love it if they find you more careful of their good, more gentle in little accidents that happen, more kind in correcting, and so on: your husband, if he sees that as your devotion increases you are more devoted in his regard, and sweet in your love to him j your parents and friends if they perceive in you more generosity, tolerance, and condescension towards their wills, when not against the will of God. In short, you must, as far as possible, make your devotion attractive.

I have written a little paper on the subject of the perfection of the Christian life. I send you a copy of it, which I want you to communicate to Madame du Puy-d'Orbe; take it in good part, as also this letter, which comes from a soul entirely devoted to your spiritual good, and which wishes nothing more than to see the work of God perfect in your spirit. I beg you to give me some part in your prayers and communions, as I assure you I will give you, all my life, share in mine, and will be without end your, &c.

64 Si. frrancis de Sales.