Letter VIII. To a Lady

Advice on the choice of a confessor. Practice for preserving peace and gentleness in domestic affairs.

My dear Sister, my child, — I answer only the two letters which this bearer has given me from you; for the third, sent me by Madame de Chantal, has not yet reached me. It is a great satisfaction to me that you live without scruple, and that the holy Communion is profitable to you; wherefore you must continue it: and on that account, my dear child, since your husband is uncomfortable about your going to N., do not press the matter; for as you have no great things to ask about, all confessors will be equally suitable for you, even the one of your parish — i.e., M. N. — or when you have the opportunity, the confessor of the good

Carmelite mothers. You know how to conduct yourself with all sorts of confessors: wherefore you can act with liberty in this matter. My dear child, continue very gentle and humble with your husband.

You are right not to disturb yourself about bad thoughts, as long as your intentions and will are good; for these God regards. Yes, my daughter, do just as I have told you; for though a thousand little deceits of apparent reasons rise up to the contrary, my conclusions are based on fundamental reasons and conformable to the doctrines of the Church: indeed, I tell you that they are so true that the contrary is a great fault. Therefore, serve God well according to them, he will bless you; and never listen to anything on the contrary side, and believe that I must be very certain when I speak so boldly.

I thank the good Mother Prioress, and I bear her with all her sisters in my soul, with great honour and love. But, my daughter, there are very many other things to ask you about this same devotion to the reverend Mother (St.) Teresa; you must get taken for me a life-like portrait of her, down to the cincture only, from that which I am told these good sisters have, and in passing by there, one of our cures, who is going thither in a week or so, would bring it to me on his return. I would not act like that with all sorts of daughters, but with you I act according to my heart.

I will recommend to the Holy Spirit the dear widowed sister, that he may inspire her to choose a husband who will always be a comfort to her: I mean the sacred husband of the soul. Yet if God so dispose as to use her again for the burden of a complete establishment, and wishes to exercise her in subjection, she must praise His Majesty for it, which, without doubt, does all for the good of his own.

Oh! my daughter, how agreeable to God are the virtues of a married woman, for they must be strong and excellent to last in that vocation; but also, O my God! how sweet a thing it is for a widow to have only one heart to please! After all, this sovereign goodness will be the sun to enlighten the dear good sister, that she may know what path to choose. She is a soul I love tenderly Wherever she may go I hope she will serve God well; and I will follow her by the continued prayers which I will make for her. I commend myself to the prayers of our little daughter N. and of N. It is true that N. is my daughter rather more than the others, and T consider that all is mine, my dearest daughter, in him who, to make us his, has made himself all ours. I am in hiin, my dearest daughter, your, &c.

P.S. — Take particular pains to do all you can to acquire sweetness amongst your people, I mean in your household; I do not say that you must be soft an/1 remiss, but gentle and' sweet. You must think of this, when entering or leaving your house, and when in it, morning, noon — continually. You must make this a chief thing for a time, and the rest, as it were, forget for a little.