Of the Conformity That We Ought to Have with the Will of God in Dryness and Desolation in Prayer

N& only ought we to conform ourselves to the will of God in exterior, natural, and human things, but also in that which many think it is a point of sanctity to desire more and more; I mean, in spiritual and supernatural goods, as divine consolations, even virtues, even the gift of prayer, peace, restfulness, and inward tranquillity of soul. But someone will ask: Is it possible to have in these things a will of one’s own and an inordinate love, so that it should become necessary to check oneself in these things? Yes, I say, it is; and here we shall see the malice of selflove, since it shrinks not from intermingling its baleful poison in such good things. Consolations and spiritual delights are good, because with them the soul easily puts aside and abhors all pleasure and delight in the things of earth, which are the food and nourishment of vices, and animates and bestirs herself to go on nimbly in the service of God, as the prophet says: I ran in the way of thy commandments when thou didst enlarge my heart (Psalm exviii. 32). The heart is dilated and enlarged by spiritual consolation, as it is straitened and narrowed by sadness. Hence the Prophet David said that, when God sent him consolations, they were as wings that made him run and fly in the way of virtue and God’s commandments. Spiritual consolations are besides a great aid to a man to break his will and conquer his appetites and mortify his flesh and more vigorously take up the crosses and afflictions that occur. And therefore God usually sends corisolations and delights to those to whom He intends to send troubles and tribulations, that so they may make ready and be disposed to bear them well and profitably. Thus Christ consoled His disciples on Mount Thabor with His glorious Transfiguration, that afterwards they might not be shocked at seeing Him suffering and dying on a cross. So we see that God is ordinarily wont to give these spiritual consolations to beginners, to make them effectually abandon the delights of earth for those of heaven; and afterwards, when He has smitten them with His love and they have struck deep roots in virtue, He usually exercises them with aridities, that they may gain more patience and humility and merit an increase of grace and glory by serving God for pure love, without consolations. And that is why some, at the beginning, at their first entrance into religion, or haply out in the world when they had their first desires of religious life, felt more consolation and taste for spiritual things than they experienced afterwards. For God treated them according to their age, giving them the milk of babes to uproot and detach them from the world and make them abhor and reject its offers; but afterwards, when they became able to eat their bread, crust and all, then He gives them the food of grown-up men. That is why the saints advise us, in time of consolation, to prepare for temptation, as in time of peace men make ready for war, because consolations are usually the first vespers of temptations and tribulations.

As spiritual consolations are very good and very profitable if we know how to use them, so, when the Lord gives them, they are to be received with thankfulness. But if we were to dwell upon these consolations and desire them solely for our own satisfaction, that would be a piece of vicious and disorderly self-love. As in things necessary for life, like eating, drinking, sleeping, and the rest, it would be a fault if a man were to take for an end in these actions the pleasure which they give, so it is with consolations in prayer—to take them for an end in themselves would be a fault of spiritual gluttony. We are not to desire or take these things for our own pleasure and satisfaction, but as a means to the ends already prescribed. As the sick man who has a disgust for the food necessary to his sustenance, rejoices to find some taste in it, not for the taste, but for the awakening of the appetite to be able to eat and preserve life, so the servant of God should not seek spiritual consolation to rest therein, but because by this spiritual refreshment the soul is animated and nourished to labor in the way of virtue and hold fast thereto. In this way delights are not desired as delights, but for the greater glory of God and inasmuch as they redound to His greater honor and glory.

But I further say that, though one does desire these spiritual consolations in this manner and for the ends stated, which are good and holy, there may nevertheless be excess in such desires, and an admixture of disorderly self-love, in case they are desired without restraint and with unmeasured eagerness and greed, so that, if they fail you, you are not so content or conformed to the will of God, but rather restless, complaining, and in pain. This is a disorderly affection and spiritual greediness. One should not be attached so ardently and without measure to spiritual consolations that, if God be not pleased to give them, the soul loses its peace and repose and conformity to the will of God; for better is the will of God than all those consolations, and more important it is to live in conformity and satisfaction with what God is pleased to give.

What I say of spiritual delights and consolations, I understand also of the gift of prayer and the ready entry into it which we desire to have, and of peace and tranquillity and interior repose of the soul, and of all other spiritual advantages. Here also there may be a disorderly affection and greediness when such things are desired with such impetuosity and greed that, in case of failure to attain all that is desired, there arise complaint and discontent and lack of conformity to the will of God. And by “spiritual delights and consolations” we here understand, not only devotion and sensible delights and comforts, but also the very substance and gift of prayer, and entering upon it and remaining in it with that quiet and calm we should like to have. Or, rather, of this we shall now principally treat, showing how we are to conform ourselves in the matter to the will of God and not indulge in unmeasured greed and impetuous cravings therein.

As for delights and consolations and sensible movements of devotion, a man would readily forego all that if what is substantial in prayer were given him and he felt in himself the fruit thereof; for all know well enough that prayer does not consist in these smacks of fervor and fits of tender devotion; and therefore but little virtue is needed to go without them. But to go to meditation and be then turned into stone, with an aridity so great that you have started it only to find God locking you out and hiding Himself, as though there had come upon you that curse wherewith He threatened His people: I will make the heavens as of iron and the earth of brass (Levit. xxvi. 19; Deut. xxviii. 23) — for that, more virtue is required and more fortitude. Heaven to such persons seems of iron and earth of brass, forasmuch as there never falls on them one drop of rain to soften their heart and yield a harvest to maintain them. There is nothing but barrenness and dryness without end. And not only is there dryness, but sometimes such a great distraction and wandering of thoughts—aye, and sometimes such foul and evil thoughts—that it seems you have come there only to be tempted and molested with all kinds of temptations. Tell such people that it is a good remedy to think of death and Christ crucified, and they will say: “T know that already myself; if I could only do it, what would be wanting to me?” Sometimes you are in such a state at meditation that you cannot think of that; or if you do think of it and contrive to bring it to mind, it does not move you nor pick you up at all; it makes no impression. This is what we call desolation, dryness, and spiritual dereliction; and in this also it is necessary to conform ourselves to the will of God.

This is a point of great importance because it is one of the commonest complaints and severest struggles that those meet with who take to meditation, and all groan and lament when they find themselves in this condition. Hearing tell of the praises of meditation, how as your meditation goes, so goes all the day and all your life; and how meditation is one of the principal means that we have for our own advancement and the good of our neighbor; and all the while seeing themselves, as they think, so far from meditating, they give themselves much pain and fancy that God has abandoned and forgotten them; they come to fear that they have lost His friendship and are in His disgrace, because now they can find no access to Him. And their temptation is increased by seeing other people in a few days making much progress in meditation, as it were without trouble, while they, for all their labor and longing, do not get on at all. Hence spring other and worse temptations: as to complain of God for treating them in that manner, and to be minded to give over the exercise of meditation, as a thing not made for them, since they do so badly in it. The pain of all this is much increased by the devil’s putting it into their minds that they themselves are the cause of it all, and it is for their fault that God treats them so. Thus some people live very disconsolate lives and come out from meditation as from a torture, sad and melancholy, a torment to themselves and to all who have to deal with them. We will proceed now, by the grace of the Lord, to answer and meet this temptation and complaint.