Of Conformity to the Will of God in the Distribution of Virtues and Supernatural Gifts

AS we must be conformable to the will of God in whatever manner He pleases to treat us in prayer, so also in regard of all other virtues and gifts and spiritual advantages. It is a very good thing to desire all virtues and sigh after them and strive to attain them, but in our desire for improvement and growth and progress in virtue we must possess our souls in peace if we do not attain our desire. If God will not give you the chastity of an angel, but you suffer grave temptations in that matter, it is better for you to keep your patience and conformity to the will of God than go about worrying and complaining that you fall short of the purity of the angels. If God is not ready to give you such a meekness as He gave a Moses and a David, or such patience as He gave a Job, but you feel stirrings and promptings to the contrary, it is well for you to be ashamed and humbled, and thence take occasion to set little store by yourself; but it is not well for you to lose your peace of mind and be full of worries and complaints that God has not made you as patient as a Job or as humble as a St. Francis. We needs must conform ourselves to the will of God in these things, for we never shall find peace otherwise. Father Master Avila says very well: ‘I do not believe that there ever was a saint in this world who did not desire to be better than he was; but that did not rob them of their peace, for their desire was not prompted by selfish greed, which never says, ‘Enough,’ but by God, with Whose distribution they were content. Although He gave them little, they would have been content even with less, taking it for the part of true love to be content with what was given them rather than desire more, despite all the whisperings of self-love pretending that such desire was for the better Service of God.”

But someone will say that this is tantamount to saying that we ought not to be fervent in desire to be more and more virtuous and better, but leave all to God, soul as well as body; and so apparently we should give occasion to tepidity and weakness, caring nothing to grow and go forward. Be this point well noted, since it is of great importance. It is a very good reply and objection, so good that beyond this there is nothing else to fear in the matter. There is no doctrine, however good it be, that may not be abused, if you do not know how to apply it properly. So this may be abused in its bearing on prayer and on other virtues and spiritual gifts; wherefore a good explanation and right understanding is here necessary.

I do not say that we should not desire to be holier every day, and strive ever to imitate what is better, and be diligent and fervent in doing so; for that is what we came into religion for; and if we do not do that, we shall not be good religious. In exterior things men should be diligent without fretting and complaining. So say the saints, and so Christ our Redeemer lays down His prohibition in the Gospel: J tell you, be not solicitous for your life, what ye shall eat, nor for your body what ye shall put on (Matt. vi. 25), reprehending excessive solicitude and anxiety and greediness in these things, but not relieving us of proper care and diligence about them, but rather commanding us to have it and giving it to us for penance: In the sweat of thy brow thou shalt eat thy bread (Gen. iii. 19). It is necessary, in fact, that men should labor and be diligent to get their food, and to do otherwise would be tempting God. So in the same way must it be in spiritual things and in the striving after virtues and gifts of God. Bound as we are to be very diligent and careful in this endeavor, still it must be done in such a way as not to part with our peace of soul and conformity to the will of God. Do what is to be done on your part; but if after all you see that you are not so successful as you wished, you must not fall into impatience, which would be worse than the original fault, not even though the failure seems to have been due to your own faint-heartedness, a thing that is apt to discourage many. Take care to make honest efforts; and if they are not all successful and you fall into some faults, do not be amazed at that, nor lose heart; such are we all! Iama man and not an angel; weak, not consummate in sanctity. God knows well our weakness and our misery. He knoweth the clay of which we are made (Psalm cii. 13), and wishes us not to be discouraged at our faults, but to repent and humble ourselves, and rise again at once, and ask for more strength of the Lord, and take care to go contented both inwardly and outwardly. It is more to the point that you should rise at once, with cheerfulness which doubles your strength for the service of God, than that, thinking to bewail your sins for God’s sake, you should displease that same God by serving Him badly with drooping heart and drooping wings and other evil features that are wont to take rise from thence.

The only thing to fear here is the danger that we have touched upon of tepidity gaining entrance upon us, and our omitting to do what is on our part under color of saying: “God must give it me; all must come from the hand of God; Ican do no more.” We must be on our guard against the same danger in what we were saying of prayer; we must take care that sloth does not impose upon us here either under this pretense. But once this side door is closed, and you are honestly doing what it rests with you to do, God is more pleased with patience and humility in your weaknesses than with those fits of unmeasured anguish and sadness which some fall into at the thought that they are not growing in virtue and perfection as they would wish, nor find the facility in prayer which they would desire. This business of prayer and perfection is not done by grumblings and fisticuffs, but by God’s giving it to whom He will, and as He wills, and in such time as He pleases. It is certain that not all are to be equal who are to go to heaven, nor must we despair because we are none of the best who go there, nor perhaps even of the middling good; but we must fall in with the will of God in all and return thanks to our Lord that He holds out to us hope of finding salvation by His mercy. And if we do not succeed in being without faults, let us give thanks to God that He gives us a knowledge of our shortcomings; and seeing that we are not going to heaven by the high path of virtues, as some go, let us be content to travel by knowledge of our sins and sorrow for them, as many go.

St. Jerome says: “Let others offer in the temple of the Lord, each according to his ability; some gold, silver, and precious stones; others silks, crimson, purple, and embroidery. Enough for me to offer in the temple skins of goats and hides of animals.” Let others, then, offer to God their virtues and heroic and excellent acts and their high and lofty contemplations; enough for me to offer to God my lowliness, knowing myself and acknowledging myself a sinner, imperfect and evil, and presenting myself before His Majesty as one poor and needy. And it is well to rejoice for this at heart, and give thanks to God that He does not deprive us of this also which He has given us, as He does to men who have utterly lost His favor.

St. Bonaventure, Gerson, and others add here a remark which goes far to confirm what has been said. They say that many persons serve God better for not having the virtue and recollection that they desire than they would do if they had it. As they are, they live in humility and walk with care and diligence, endeavoring to mount and go forward, and having frequent recourse to God; but the other way they would possibly become proud, negligent, and tepid in the service of God, thinking that they had already got all that they need have, and would have no mind to labor for more. Be this said to the end that we may honestly do what lies in our power, and walk with diligence and care aiming at perfection; and then let us be satisfied with what the Lord gives us and not be disconsolate or in distress about what we cannot gain and what is not in our power. That would be, as Father Master Avila well says, like being in pain because they did not give us wings to fly through the air.