What Has Been Said Is Confirmed by Some Examples

IN the chronicles of the order of St. Dominic it is related that a Father of the order, one of the first and most considerable, a man of exemplary life and great purity of soul, never felt any manner of consolation or pleasure in the exercises of religion, neither in prayer, nor in contemplation, nor in reading. And as he was always hearing tell of the dainty cheer God made for others and of the spiritual transports they experienced, he was half in despair. In this state he set himself in prayer one night before a crucifix, weeping bitterly the while, and went so far as to utter these wild words: “Lord, I have always heard that in goodness and gentleness Thou surpassest all Thy creatures. Behold me here, who have served Thee many years and have suffered on Thy account abundant tribulations and with hearty good will have given myself up to Thee alone. If for a quarter of the time I have served Thee I had served a tyrant, he would have shown me some sign of benevolence, were it only one kind word, one kind look, one smile; but Thou, O Lord, hast never given me any good cheer nor have I received of Thee the least favor of those which Thou art wont to do to others. Thou being sweetness itself, why art Thou to me harder than a hundred tyrants? What is this, Lord? Why wishest Thou me to suffer thus?”

At this point there came a crash as if the whole church were coming down, and in the roof there was a fearful din, as though thousands of dogs with their teeth were crunching up the woodwork. He was amazed and troubled with fear, and turning his head to see what was the matter, he saw behind him the most foul and horrible vision in the world, a devil who held a bar of iron in his hand, wherewith he gave him a great blow on the body. Whereupon he fell to the ground and could not rise, but plucked up heart to crawl as far as an altar that was near, unable to manage himself for sheer pain, as though all his bones were out of joint for blows. When the friars rose for prime, they found him as one dead, without knowing the cause of so sudden and fatal an accident. They carried him to the infirmary, where for three whole weeks he lay in severe pain. So great was the stench, so filthy and nauseous, that the religious could nowise come in to attend to him without first stopping their noses, and taking many other precautions. At the end of that time he gathered some strength and was able to stand on his feet, whereupon he sought to cure himself of his foolish presumption and pride. Accordingly, returning to the place where he had committed the fault, he sought there the remedy of it, and with many tears and great humility he made his prayer, very different from the former. He confessed his fault, acknowledging himself unworthy of any good and very deserving of pain and chastisement. And the Lord comforted him with a voice from heaven, which said: “If thou wantest consolation and sweetness, it is right for thee to be humble; acknowledge thy lowliness. and understand that thou art viler than dust and of less value than the worms under thy feet.” ‘Thereby he learned a great lesson, and henceforth was a most perfect religious.

Of our blessed Father Ignatius we read a very different story. It is told in his Life that, looking at his faults and bewailing them, he said that he wished that in punishment of them the Lord would some time deprive him of the delight of His consolations, that this check might make him more careful and watchful in His service; but that such was the mercy of the Lord and the abundance of the sweetness and gentleness of His grace in dealing with him that, the more faults he fell into and the more he desired to be treated in this manner, the greater was the kindness of the Lord towards him and the greater the abundance in which He showered down upon him the treasures of His liberality. And so he said that he believed there was not a man in the world in whom these two things met as they did in himself; such unfaithfulness to God in the first place, and on the other side the reception of so many great and continual favors from His hand.

Blosius relates of a servant of God that the Lord did him great favors, consoling and illuminating him and showing him marvelous things in prayer; and he with much humility, and desire still further to please God, asked Him, if that would be to His service and better pleasure, to withdraw from him this grace. God heard his prayer, and withdrew it for five years, leaving him to suffer many temptations, desolations, and anguishes. One day, when he was weeping bitterly, two angels appeared to him and offered to console him; to whom he replied: “I do not ask for consolation; it is consolation enough for me that the will of God is accomplished in me.”

The same Blosius relates that Christ our Redeemer said to St. Bridget: “Daughter, why art thou troubled and anxious?” She answered: ‘Because I am afflicted with useless and evil thoughts and cannot shake them off, and they cause me great anxiety about Thy dreadful judgment.” Then the Lord said: “This is true justice, that as thou didst take delight in the vanities of the world against My will, so now thou shouldst be molested with a variety of painful and perverse thoughts against thy will. Nevertheless, thou shouldst fear My judgment with moderation and discretion, confiding firmly and continually in Me that I am thy God; for thou oughtest to hold it for a most certain truth that the evil thoughts which a man resists and rejects are a purgatory, and a crown for his soul. If thou canst not hinder them, suffer them with patience, and protest against them with thy will. And though thou consent not to them, still, for all that, fear lest pride come over thee on that account and bring thee to a fall; because whoever stands, it is only the grace of God that holds him up.”

Blosius in his book on “Comfort for the Pusillanimous,” quotes from Tauler: ‘Many, when they are harassed by tribulation, are wont to say to me: ‘Father, I am in a bad way, I am not getting on well, I am worn out with various troubles and melancholy.’ In reply to him who says this, I tell him that he is going on all right and meriting a great reward. Then they say: ‘Sir, it is not so; on the contrary, I believe this comes of my faults.’ On that I say to them: ‘Whether it comes of your sins or not, believe that God has put upon you this cross, and thank Him for it; suffer and be entirely resigned.’ Still they say: ‘Interiorly, I am a prey to great dryness and darkness.’ I say: ‘My dear child, suffer with patience and you will gain more merit thereby than if you were borne along on a flood of sensible devotion?”

It is related of a great servant of God that he said: “For forty years I have served our Lord and practised meditation, and never have I found in it any relish or consolation; nevertheless, on the day on which I practise it, I find in myself great support for exercises of virtue; but when I fail in it, I feel so weak that I cannot stir a feather to fly to anything good.”