15 — SANCTIFYING ONESELF IN THE APOSTOLATE

Presence of God. — Give me light, O God, so that I may recognize the graces You have prepared along my path to lead me to holiness; make me capable of corresponding to them.

Meditation

1 — The most fruitful apostle is the saint. Must one then be holy before giving oneself to the apostolate? Theoretically that would be ideal, but in practice it is impossible. One cannot think that the years of formation alone—of seminary or novitiate, for example—are enough to make saints; nor, when duty or charity requires it, can one exempt oneself from apostolic works on the pretext that one has not yet reached holiness.

We must therefore conclude that, once the period dedicated exclusively to preparation is presupposed, it is necessary to unite one’s personal ascent toward holiness with the exercise of apostolic activity. In other words, apostles must sanctify themselves in the apostolate and by means of it.

“To sanctify oneself in view of and by means of the apostolate—this is the watchword for a diocesan priest.... We would make the Church, the life of Jesus, and all the lives of the saints lie, if we affirmed the incompatibility of external apostolate with holiness.”

These words that Don Poppe addresses to priests hold true for all apostles, clerics or laity, religious or secular: every apostle must have the certainty that precisely in his field of labor—and not elsewhere—he will find all the graces needed to sanctify himself, to reach intimate union with God.

When a person gives himself to apostolate not by his own choice, not from a natural impulse to activity, but only to respond to a divine call, he must be certain that, as God wanted him in apostolate, so He wants him holy and will give him every means to become so.

God cannot condemn to mediocrity a soul that, in order to do His will, and therefore for love of Him, has taken upon itself apostolic burdens and labors. “No, brothers,” Don Poppe continues, “the active life is not a night in which the light of the ideal is extinguished. If many have lost theirs there, you must have greater confidence, humble yourselves more deeply for your weakness, and a more abundant grace will certainly bring you success as well.

“Do you not know that difficulties and obstacles, under the marvelous action of grace, are sometimes transformed into helps and cooperate wonderfully in good? Certus sum, you can say with St. Paul: I am sure that no creature in the world has the power to turn me away from the path of holiness.”

In the measure in which the apostle is docile and faithful to grace, God will purify him, refine him, sanctify him precisely through his apostolic labors.

2 — This does not exclude that silent call to recollection, that desire for solitude and intimacy with God that often accompanies the apostle amid his activity and sometimes grows acute enough to cast a veil of nostalgia over his life. Whoever has tasted, even a little, the beauty and infinite goodness of God cannot but feel a powerful longing and need for Him.

This is a good sign: it means that the soul has not let itself be invaded and dissipated by external occupations and that, even while living in the world, it is not of the world, but truly tends toward God.

Even if at times this longing should become tormenting, the apostle must not be disturbed, nor think he has taken the wrong road: this torment will purify him and lead him to the Lord.

Besides, one cannot think that the simple desire for greater recollection and union with God is by itself an indication of a call to the contemplative life, which is characterized above all by the need for deeper dedication and immolation.

The insistent call to interiority should rather be considered as a grace meant to defend the apostle from the dangers of external activity: it is the bulwark, the cloister wall of his spiritual life.

Yet the need for God must be satisfied. Beyond daily hours of prayer and silence, the apostle must have sufficient pauses in his work: monthly retreats, yearly exercises, and likewise greater leisure for recollection after a period of particularly intense activity.

It would be a fatal error to let oneself be absorbed by work to the point of no longer finding time to concentrate in God, in an intimate heart-to-heart with Him; not even under the appearance of greater generosity should the apostle renounce his hours of prayer.

At the same time, however, he must go to his work with a serene and trusting spirit, keeping clearly in mind that, as long as he has not reached full maturity of spiritual life, he will not escape the conflict between action and contemplation: action that tries to draw him away from contemplation, and contemplation that would like to prolong itself beyond the established time.

His effort must be to keep himself in a position of balance, avoiding both extremes and unifying his life through love. Before the conflict is stilled in perfect harmony, a long road remains to be traveled, during which it is absolutely necessary to devote oneself to action with prudence and to be very faithful to prayer, not allowing the time destined for it to be invaded by work.

Colloquy

“My God, how few holy apostles there are! How rare your true friends are! O Lord, I burn with desire for the coming of your kingdom in the souls of apostles; I burn, yet I am so poor that I will be consumed before this kingdom draws near.

“Make me, O Lord, a holy apostle; for a saint obtains more with one single word than an ordinary worker with a whole series of speeches. Without holiness I am a sounding brass, a clanging cymbal, and You, O God, speak only through the mouth of saints.

“Give me, then, holiness, the one thing capable of moving hearts, piercing souls, renewing them. My God, may I not sell tinsel; may I not be an empty vessel!

“To sanctify oneself in the apostolate is difficult; many are the obstacles and dangers that one meets. Must I then withdraw in discouragement? No, my God, since, if I have good will, I will always be helped by your grace, and where grace works one always finds the road that leads to the end, to holiness! What then should I fear?

“Your grace is with me; You Yourself are with me, in me. And if You, O God, enter the field with me, what can I still call an ‘obstacle’? Tribulation or anguish, hunger or nakedness, danger or persecution or the sword? All these difficulties I shall overcome with your help, for You love me and do not abandon me.

“Leaning on You, O Lord, I am sure that no creature in the world has the power to turn me away from the path of holiness. I am sure of it because You want to see holy apostles, because You are infinitely good, infinitely powerful, and faithful to your promises, because You are infinitely merciful” (D. Edward Poppe).