30 — THE WAY OF UNION

Presence of God. — Give me light, O Lord, and give me strength to tear from myself all that prevents me from uniting with You.

Meditation

1 — “That soul is more united to God which has advanced more in love, that is, that has its will more conformed to that of God” (A. II, 5, 4). On the concrete plane of life, love, when it is true, manifests itself in willing to do what pleases the beloved person, in conforming to his desires, his tastes, his wills, willing nothing that can displease him. The measure by which a soul truly knows how to conform to God’s will is the measure of its union with Him; and it is evident that this union will not be perfect as long as the soul resists, even in small things, the divine will or does not accept it wholeheartedly, as well as as long as it conserves desires and tastes that, even in a very slight way, are in disharmony with those of God. The entire spiritual journey toward divine union consists in a twofold very simple, but essential movement: to strip oneself of all that does not please God, to renounce all that contrasts with His will, conforming to it and fulfilling it with the greatest love. A very simple movement, but at the same time very ample, because it must extend to all circumstances of life, none excluded, so that in all, in great as in minimal things, the soul behaves in a perfectly conforming way to the divine will; a very profound movement, because it must reach all the most hidden folds of the spirit to rid it of the minimal remnants and last resistances of egoism and pride, not only eliminating their acts, but uprooting their very roots. As long as this work of profound purification is not brought to completion, the soul’s will cannot be totally conformed to that of God, since its many imperfections and imperfect habits still oppose it. Only “the soul that has the will entirely conformed and similar to the divine is... entirely united and transformed in God”; therefore whoever wishes to attain union “has no other need than to strip himself of his contrarieties and dissimilarities” (ibid., 5).

2 — If you examine yourself attentively you will see that your will is still very dissimilar from that of God. God wills only good and wills it in a most perfect way; you instead together with good often will also what is evil; you will good itself weakly and operate it very imperfectly. Every time you commit some fault, even a simple imperfection, you will something that God cannot will; they may be small acts of laziness, negligence, impatience; they may be subtle self-seekings or seeking the affection and esteem of creatures; they may be subtle secondary intentions that infiltrate your actions. All things that must be eliminated to attain union with God.

St. John of the Cross says expressly that not only beginners in the spiritual journey, but also proficients are subject to many imperfections and still conserve imperfect habits, deriving above all from a subtle pride and spiritual egoism. Having exercised themselves for a long time in the interior life, a certain presumption and self-security easily insinuates itself in them, so that in their dealings with God they are exposed to lacking humility and reverence, while in relations with their neighbor they often fall into the weakness of wishing to be esteemed perfect. Moreover, not being totally detached from themselves, they stop to enjoy a bit egoistically the spiritual consolations they receive in prayer and thus distract themselves from the search for God alone, delay their journey toward union and also expose themselves to fall into the deceptions of fantasy or the demon (cf. N. II, 2).

This demonstrates how profound are in us the roots of pride and egoism, so that, detaching the heart from earthly vanities and material goods, we are soon ready to attach ourselves to spiritual goods. Nevertheless we must not despair of attaining union, but rather take motive from our misery to supplicate with greater insistence the Lord that He deign to bring to completion the work of our purification. He, moreover, desires it more than we ourselves and, if He does not do it as He would wish, it is only because He finds us reluctant, impatient, very little disposed to accept wholeheartedly what humiliates and mortifies us to the bottom. Yet this alone is the way to attain union with God.

Colloquy

“As long as my will has whims extraneous to divine union, fantasies of yes and no, I remain in the state of infancy, I do not walk in love with giant steps, because Your fire, O Lord, has not yet burned all the dross, the gold is not pure, and I am still a seeker of myself. O Lord, You have not yet consumed all my hostility toward You! But when You will have destroyed in me every vicious love, every defective sorrow and fear, then love will be perfect and the golden ring of our union will be wider than heaven and earth.

“But to do this it is necessary that I die to myself each day. O Jesus, I want to die, I want to decrease, I want to renounce myself each day more, that You may grow and be exalted in me. I dwell very small, in the depths of my poverty; I see my nothingness, my misery, my impotence, I realize that I am incapable of progress, of perseverance, I see the multitude of my negligences, of my defects; I perceive myself in my indigence, I prostrate myself in my misery, recognizing my extreme need I expose it to Your mercy, O my divine Master! I wish to make the joy of my soul consist — as regards will and not sensibility — in all that can immolate me, destroy me, humble me, because I want to make room for You, O Lord. I no longer want to live of my life, but to be transformed in You, that my life may be more divine than human, and the Father, bending over me, may recognize in it the image of the beloved Son in whom He has placed all His complacencies” (cf. E.T. I, 2 and 3).