24 — APOSTOLIC MATURITY

Presence of God. — May your love, O God, mature my soul and make it capable of giving itself fully in service of souls.

Meditation

1 — One may ask whether, having reached that degree of union with God in which the flame of zeal bursts forth spontaneously, the apostle can now give himself freely to apostolate. It is a fact that, having come to this point, the soul cannot and must not exempt itself from self-giving: whether consecrated to contemplation or action, whether living in cloistered solitude or amid the whirl of the world, its life now consists in unceasing self-giving: giving itself to God for the benefit of neighbor, giving itself to neighbor for God’s glory. To stifle this tendency would be to regress and impoverish one’s spiritual life; this is the period in which the soul must be enriched precisely through self-giving lived in the exercise of an intense apostolate, whether interior or exterior. Yet the saints teach us that prudence is still necessary, and vigilance must not cease, since having received the interior grace of apostolate does not mean being confirmed in grace. St. Teresa says it expressly: “I have known some persons very advanced who, after having reached this point, the devil still managed to make his own through subtle snares and cunning” (M. V, 4, 6), and shortly before she had said: “How many there must be who, called by God to apostolate, honored like Judas with his very communications... then, through their own fault, end up lost!” (ibid., 3, 2). Spontaneously one recalls the cry full of humility and distrust of self that sprang from Paul’s heart, the Apostle rapt to the third heaven: “lest perhaps, after preaching to others, I myself should become reprobate” (1 Cor. 9:27). As long as we are on this earth we have reason to fear; sadly we always have the possibility of not corresponding to grace, of detaching ourselves, even in small things, from God’s will - and there lies our ruin - and thus little by little regressing. “Christian souls whom the Lord has led this far,” exclaims St. Teresa of Jesus, “for love of Him I beg you never to neglect yourselves and flee occasions!” and she adds: “to succeed [in turning an apostle aside], [the devil] must mobilize all hell, being persuaded that to ruin one such soul is to ruin a multitude” (M. V, 4, 5 and 6). On the contrary, if the apostle remains faithful to God’s will, he not only becomes an instrument for the salvation of many, but immensely enriches his own interior life.

2 — To avoid failing the grace of apostolate, three safeguards are particularly necessary. First, one must always have jealous care of humility, defending oneself from flattering voices of praise and success and opposing to them the picture of one’s own miseries, as well as that of “bad figures,” mistakes made and failures suffered in apostolate. If Lucifer - pure spirit - fell through pride, it is not impossible that an apostle, who as man is burdened by matter, should fall through pride. One must then be attentive to maintain intimate contact with God, because just as iron grows red-hot and shines only in contact with fire, so the apostle diffuses divine light and warmth only if he remains united to the One who is their sole source.

Finally, it is of greatest importance to persevere in perfect detachment from one’s own judgment and will. On this point St. John of the Cross warns “that among the many tricks used by the devil to deceive spiritual persons, the most common is to delude them under appearances of good and not of evil; because he already knows that manifest evil they will scarcely touch” (Ct. 10). Therefore, to avoid falling into the trap, the Saint urges never to undertake “an action, however good and full of charity” (ibid., 11) it may seem, without approval of obedience. This warning applies not only to religious, but to all who work in apostolate, because all must remain subject to ecclesiastical Authority. Even if a work, an initiative, a method of apostolate gave the best results, if ecclesiastical Authority, for whatever reason, did not approve it, the apostle should be ready to renounce it immediately, without criticism, without complaint, without arguments meant to make his own point prevail.

Protected by deep humility, by sincere detachment, sustained by intimate union with God, the apostle can tread the roads of the world without any fear for his spiritual life.

Colloquy

“O Lord, the souls closest to You, like your Most Holy Mother and your glorious Apostles, were those who suffered most and labored most for You, granting themselves no rest.

“My God, how a soul living deeply united to You must neglect its own rest! How it must not care for honor! How far it must be from desiring to be esteemed in anything! Yes, if it converses often with You as it ought, it ends by forgetting itself so as to exhaust every concern in seeking to please You more and in knowing in what things and by what ways it can show You the love it bears You. O Lord, You teach me this is the end of prayer, and this is what union with You tends toward: to produce works and more works.

“If I fix my gaze on You, divine Crucified, everything will become easy for me. If You showed me your love by such great works and by such frightful torments, why should I want to be content with words alone? Oh, grant that I may know how to give myself to You as your slave, so that, marked with your brand, that of the Cross, You may sell me as slave of all the world! This is what it means to be truly spiritual.

“United to You, divine Strength, I shall share your strength, as the saints shared it, so as to work with great zeal for your glory, to work and die for You, to win many souls for You” (cf. T.G.M. VII, 4, 5-10).