18 — HUMILITY IN APOSTOLATE

Presence of God. — O Lord, imprint in me so deep a sense of my poverty that all the good I do I may expect from You and attribute every good to You alone.

Meditation

1 — Humility, as it is the foundation of all spiritual life, is also the basic condition of every apostolate and the central part of the program of self-denial and self-forgetfulness it requires.

Precisely because the apostle is, more or less, set on the lampstand, he needs more than others to protect his spirit from pride and vainglory by profound humility.

Reading the Gospel, it is striking to see how insistently Jesus taught this point in forming His Apostles. When they argued about who would be the greatest in the messianic kingdom, the Master answered: “Unless you are converted and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18:3).

On another similar occasion, when the mother of James and John asked the first places for her sons, He replied: “Whoever among you wishes to be first shall be your servant” (Mt 20:27). And at the Last Supper, in washing their feet, He showed them how far apostles must become servants: “If I then, being your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (Jn 13:14).

Finally, before sending them into His vineyard to bear “abundant fruit,” He repeatedly declared: “Without Me you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5).

Yes, apostles are Jesus’ friends, chosen by Him and destined to evangelize the world, set by Him over the Church, adorned with priestly dignity and the power to bind and loose—or, if not clerics, raised to the dignity of collaborators of the hierarchy, also called to cooperate in the salvation of souls. But at the foundation of all these privileges and honors stand these great words: you must become little like children; without Me you can do nothing.

If only we were truly convinced that, although God wills to use us, He alone has the power to make our action fruitful, He alone can produce fruits of eternal life, He alone can give grace to souls—and we are only instruments, the more apt for others’ salvation the more we become little by acknowledging our poverty.

What merit can a brush claim because a skilled painter used it to create a masterpiece? What merit can marble claim because Michelangelo used it to sculpt his Moses? “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and appointed you that you should go and bring forth fruit” (Jn 15:16).

2 — “Without Me you can do nothing.” Before these words, how many ambitions, points of honor, vain self-complacencies, claims to praise, desires for advancement and recognition shatter like waves against rocks.

Jesus does not say that without Him we can do little, but nothing—absolutely nothing. Even if outwardly works prosper, admirers increase, churches and halls are full, in reality not a grain of grace descends into hearts unless God intervenes.

Poor apostle, at times so satisfied and inflated by your successes! Despite your abilities, brilliance, attractive speech, titles, and achievements, in apostolate you are smaller and more powerless than an ant before a high mountain.

Recognize your nothingness, take refuge in God, hold fast to Him, for from Him alone you can draw fruitfulness for your works.

Charged with the formation of novices, St. Therese of the Child Jesus exclaimed: “You see, Lord, that I am too little to feed your daughters; if You wish to give each one through me what she needs, fill my hand, and I, without leaving your arms, without turning elsewhere, will distribute your treasures to the soul that comes to ask me for food.”

This is the attitude every apostle must take. Indeed, the higher, more important, and more delicate his mission is, the more necessary are this humble awareness of poverty, this trusting recourse to God, and this continual abiding in Him.

If God does not use us for great works, is it perhaps because, not being sufficiently convinced of our nothingness, we might steal His glory by attributing success to ourselves? If our apostolic activity bears little fruit, is it perhaps because, trusting too much in ourselves, we do not concern ourselves enough with clinging to God through humility and prayer?

“Abide in Me,” Jesus repeats. “As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself ... so neither can you unless you abide in Me” (Jn 15:4). It is not enough that the apostle remain united to Jesus by the state of grace; he must remain there also by deep humility, which makes him feel he can do nothing, truly nothing, without His continual help.

Colloquy

“O Lord, You want me in my apostolate to feel and acknowledge my nothingness; but at the same time You want me to let myself be taken and used by You to fulfill the mission You entrust to me, and then return to the shadows, be silent, not boast, and say: servi inutiles sumus—I am an unprofitable servant; without You I can do nothing.

“O Lord, help me flee praise, flee the applause of creatures; help me act always with right intention, seeking only your good pleasure. I ask You to keep far from me those faults that can distract me from acting solely to please You: display, compliments, flattery, the desire to make a good impression, to be liked by others. May I never seek my glory, but only yours. Everything to please You, nothing to satisfy myself!” (Sr. Carmela of the Holy Spirit, O.C.D.).

“I beg You, my Lord, to direct to You the heart and will of your apostles, so that they may follow You, slain Lamb, poor, humble and meek, by the way of the most holy Cross, in your manner and not in theirs. Drive darkness from their hearts and give your light; dry up in them self-love and let the fire of your charity remain.

“Grant that with ordered charity they seek the salvation of all, disposing themselves to give their life for the good of souls. And may they be angelic creatures, earthly angels in this life, and burning lamps in Holy Church!” (cf. St. Catherine of Siena).