171. The Marriage Ceremony

The main act of the sacrament of matrimony is the expression of mutual consent. After this act the couple join hands, and the priest blesses them with holy water. (1) The contracting parties hear the Nuptial Mass, receiving Holy Communion. By this act of uniting themselves with Jesus in the Holy Eucharist, they invite Him to their wedding, to bless them, as the couple in Cana did long ago. During the Mass the Nuptial Blessing (3) is given. "May her wedlock be to her a yoke of love."

What are the ceremonies of the nuptial contract?

— The ceremonies of the nuptial contract are not identical throughout the Church; we here describe those used in this country, in accordance with the Roman Ritual.

1. The general practice is to have the ceremony performed at the foot of the altar, immediately before the celebration of Mass. The bridegroom stands to the right of the bride, with the witnesses near, facing the priest.

This is the only occasion when lay people are permitted to remain in the sanctuary; pews are prepared for groom and bride, as well as for the sponsors or witnesses, if the Mass is to be said.

2. The priest reads aloud the instructions on marriage. Then addressing the man by name, the priest asks: "N, wilt thou take N, here present for thy lawful wife, according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church?" The bridegroom replies: "I will."

Turning to the bride, the priest asks: "N—wilt thou take N—here present for thy lawful husband, according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church?" The bride replies: "I will." This is the main act of the Sacrament. After this, even if the rest of the ceremonies are interrupted, the marriage is valid, binding.

3. At the bidding of the priest, the couple join their right hands. Then they pledge themselves to each other formally, repeating after the priest: "I, N.N, take thee, N.N, for my lawful wife (husband), to have and to hold, 'from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

The priest, in Latin, pronounces the words of sanction and blessing: "I join you together in marriage, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." As he speaks, he makes over the couple the sign of the cross, then sprinkles them with holy water.

4. The priest then blesses the ring, a symbol of faithfulness, and sprinkles it with holy water. He gives it to the groom, who puts it on the third finger of the bride's left hand, meanwhile saying: "With this ring I thee wed, and I plight unto thee my troth."

The priest recites some versicles, and the Our Father in Latin, the couple joining in the latter prayer in their own language. Finally is said a prayer asking God's protection on those now joined in the holy bonds of Matrimony. Then, while the couple and witnesses remain in the sanctuary, the Nuptial Mass is said.

What is a Nuptial Mass?

— A Nuptial Mass is a Mass which has special prayers to beg God's blessing on the married couple.

1. It is indeed most regrettable that in our country comparatively few marriages are celebrated with the Nuptial Mass. How many blessings the couple miss, when the Mass is omitted!

The afternoon and evening wedding is becoming more of a fashionable social affair than a religious ceremony. Matrimony, the great Christian Sacrament, is being turned into a civil contract. No wonder an increasing number of marriages end in divorce. Today more importance seems to be given to the festivities following the marriage ceremony than to the ceremony itself.

2. Catholics can best obtain God's blessing on their marriage by being married at a Nuptial Mass and by receiving Holy Communion devoutly. The Church provides a special Mass for the marriages of its members; this Nuptial Mass has special prayers begging God's blessing for the married couple. It may be said on almost any day, outside of the important feasts.

The married state needs plenty of graces; should not every available means be taken to obtain those graces? The Church bestows graces on the wedded pair, not only through the Sacrament, but also through the Nuptial Mass, the receiving of Holy Communion at that Mass, and the Nuptial Blessing during the Mass.

3. The Nuptial Mass is filled with beautiful excerpts from the Bible, setting forth the sanctity and dignity of the union which the man and woman have contracted. Throughout, the blessing of God is invoked.

The Gospel of the Mass is from St. Matthew: "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder." The Communion is from Psalm 127: "Behold, thus shall every man be blessed who feareth the Lord; and mayest thou see thy children's children: peace upon Israel."

4. The Church authorizes the nuptial ceremony apart from the Nuptial Mass; but it urges all Catholics to be united in marriage with the graces of that Mass, with its beautiful liturgy.

This is why, except for grave reason, marriages should not be celebrated during Advent and Lent; for then the Nuptial Mass and blessing are forbidden. The "closed seasons" or "forbidden times" extend from the beginning of Advent till Christmas Day, and from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, inclusive. But the celebration, as distinguished from the solemnization (with full liturgy), is always permitted, If the Mass for some reason cannot be said on the day of the marriage, it should be said on the day following, or as soon as possible.

When is the Nuptial Blessing given?

— The Nuptial Blessing is given during the Canon of the Mass, after the Pater Noster; it is directed rather to the woman than to the man.

1. With the True Presence before them, the priest turns, faces the couple, and imparts the Nuptial Blessing. It is of singular beauty, invoking God's grace upon the union, and praying for the bride.

Only on one other occasion (when the bishop blesses the holy oils at the Holy Thursday Mass) is the Canon of the Mass thus interrupted at its most solemn part. This is part of the prayer for the bride: "May her wedlock be to her a yoke of love and peace. Faithful and chaste, may she marry in Christ, and be an imitator of holy women. May she be amiable to her husband, like Rachel; wise, like Rebecca; long-lived and faithful, like Sara. ... May she be fruitful in offspring, approved and innocent. . . .Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

2. The Nuptial Blessing can be received by a woman only once. Thus if it has been given to her at a previous marriage, it cannot be given her again should she become a widow and remarry. It is not given outside the Mass without dispensation.

Near the end of the Mass, just before the usual blessing, the priest admonishes the couple on the duties of married life, and prays that they may enjoy peace, fruitfulness, and everlasting happiness. Sprinkling the bride and groom with holy water, he blesses both.