181. For Whom, When and Where to Pray

We should make prayer a part of our life, and pray on all occasions. In particular we must not neglect to pray before and after meals (1), upon arising and retiring (2), before and after our work, and (4) when we are tempted. It is a beautiful custom to hold family prayers (3).

For whom should we pray?

— We should pray especially for ourselves, for our parents, relatives, friends and enemies, for sinners, for the souls in purgatory, for the Pope, bishops, and priests of the Church, and for the officials of our country.

1. We should pray for ourselves for all our needs of soul and body.

We should particularly pray for those whom we love: our parents, brothers and sisters, friends and relatives, benefactors and superiors. But like the Saints, we must also pray for our enemies. And we must make reparation by praying for all whom we may have injured.

2. We should pray for the Church for all its spiritual and temporal needs, that it may be established in all hearts, that pagans, heretics, and sinners may be converted.

We should say prayers for the Holy Father, our bishop, and our priests, that they may grow in the love of God in the faithful performance of their duties. We must pray for our departed brethren, the souls in purgatory, that they may see God soon.

3. We should pray for our country and our temporal rulers, that their power may be used for the good of the people and the glory of God.

We should always pray that God's will may be done by all, that virtue may flourish everywhere. "Pray for one another, that you may be saved. For the unceasing prayer of a just man is of great avail" (James 5:16).

How do we know that God always hears our prayers if we pray properly?

— We know that God always hears our prayers if we pray properly, because Our Lord has promised: "If you ask the Father anything in My name, He will give it to you."

1. God never forgets a promise, and how often has He promised to answer prayer!

Our Lord promised: "Ask and it shall be given you" (Matt. 7:7). "All things whatever you ask for in prayer, believing, you shall receive" (Matt. 21:22). "Amen, amen, I say to you: if you ask the Father anything in my name, he will give it to you" (John 16:23). "Ask whatever you will, and it shall be done to you" (John 15:7).

2. God answers our prayers more quickly if they are accompanied by some sacrifice or mortification, to show our humility and earnestness. A prayer is more powerful with God if several join in the petition, and if those who pray are just.

"If two of you shall agree on earth about anything at all for which they ask, it shall be done for them by my Father in heaven" (Matt. 18:19).

Why do we not always obtain what we pray for?

— We do not always obtain what we pray for, either because we have not prayed properly, or because God sees that what we are asking would not be for our good. In the latter case, God will grant us something better. No prayer is offered in vain. God is like a kind and wise father, who gives his child fruit instead of the knife he is crying, for. "Everyone who asks, receives" (Matt. 7:8).

St. Ignatius said, "Pray as if all depended on God: work as if all depended on self." If we pray for favours or help, we must also do all we can to carry out our wishes. For example, if we pray for the recovery of a loved one, we must get the best medical help we can.

How many kinds of prayer are there?

— There are two kinds of prayer: mental prayer and vocal prayer.

1. Mental prayer is that prayer by which we unite our hearts with God while thinking of His holy truths.

This kind of prayer is also called "meditation"; in it we spend the time thinking of God or of certain truths He has revealed, and by such meditation we hope to become better. Priests and religious have daily meditation.

2. Vocal prayer is that which comes from the mind and is spoken by the lips.

We can also pray in song, by means of hymns and other religious music. The public prayers of the Church are vocal. Vocal prayer is both useful and necessary. Our body, as well as our soul, must give homage to God. But praying with the lips alone, without the spirit, is worthless. That is "lip service".

May we use our own words in praying to God?

— We may use our own words in praying to God, and it is well to do so often.

In prayer, we may use authorized forms that we have learned, or we may speak to God in our own words according to the dictates of our heart. We should speak to God from time to time in our own words, for they seem more fitted to our needs and feelings than set forms. We should speak to Him like a child to its father. It is not necessary to say long prayers. God regards not the length, but the fervour: not the time spent, but the love.

Are distractions in our prayers always displeasing to God?

— Distractions in our prayers are not displeasing to God, unless they are wilful.

1. If we try to pray well and to keep distractions away, but in spite of all our efforts we do not succeed, God is not displeased.

A busy mother, even at prayer, may have an undercurrent of thought about the children's lunch. A businessman who has several important decisions to make would very likely be distracted in prayer.

2. Prayers said with wilful distractions are of no benefit to us. They are like a phonograph record we play at God. Since with such "prayers" our hearts and minds do not go up to God, and our will is not in God, they cannot be true prayers.

It is sinful to pray with wilful distractions. It is foolish, because it is only a waste of time, during which we finish nothing else anyway. Our Lord said, "This people honours me with their lips, but their heart is far from me" (Matt. 15:8).

When and where should we pray?

— We should pray always, and in all places.

Christ said: "Whether you eat or drink, or do anything else, do all for the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31). "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17).

1. Even when we are not on our knees, we should pray while we work. Even if it is mental work, we can stop once in a while to raise our hearts up to God. We should offer our work as a prayer to God, by directing our intention, and often renewing it.

Ejaculatory prayer, using short exclamations, is most helpful. Some good ejaculations are: "Blessed be God"; "All for Thee, my Jesus"; "My God and my all"; "Jesus, Mary, Joseph!"

2. We can pray at home, at work, in the company of others, even on the street. The best place to pray is in church, because it is the house especially consecrated to prayer.

We ought to say especially our morning and night prayers, grace at meals, and the Angelus three times a day. We should also pray when we are tempted, in misfortunes, danger, or need, and at the beginning of every important undertaking.