Letter 166. To Mother Mary of St. Joseph, Toledo, January 27, 1577

PRIORESS OF SEVILLE.

Thanks for presents, The order of reclusión forbids sending nuns on foundations or to reform other convents. The importance of obtaining Father Gradan s authorization immediately,

JESUS !

May the Holy Spirit be with your Reverence, my daughter.

I CAN assure you that I should be able to add to the praises that you and your daughters so justly give our Father. I cannot tell you how it tempts mc to love you dearly, and I am beginning to believe that you repay my aíTeólion; God grant our tenderness may show itself in praying fervently for one another. Yesterday, the feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, the muleteer brought me your letters, the money, and the rest. The things were so well packed that it was a pleasure to see them, and they arrived safely in consequence. God reward you for the joy you caused me by your present to our Father's mother; no one has sent such a handsome one; our Father is much gratified.

How can I help loving you dearly when you do nothing but please me? Only, I did covet the Agnus Dei a little, for I have long been wishing to make a gift to the administrator who helps me whenever he can and does his work wonderfully well. He has taken special trouble about the convent at Malagon and will continue to care for it; the dire poverty of this house is very trying to a person of my disposition. However, there is some little cross to bear in each of our convents, and I am not sorry for it.

Still, God has so favoured me by relieving you from all your burdens that I do not know of what I can complain, for all your affairs are going on satisfadiorily, especially the prospeól He shows me of your being able to pay off the debt on the house. When I remember that it costs you more than a ducat a day interest I cannot but feel grieved, which has the advantage of causing me to pray for your deliverance from such a charge. May His Majesty at least diminish the sum. Amen.

To returij to the Agnus Dei. Considering whom it was meant for, I did not like to omit sending it, as it gave value to the rest of the presents which were charming. We kept a little box of the balsam (•a$ Isabelita told me she had plenty of it there) and three boxes of sweets, so that people should not think my Isabelita was the step-mother's daughter who gets nothing; and there was enough left. May God recompense you for it all, my daughter. Amen, amen, amen. Also for the potatoes which came at a time when I had no appetite, but arrived in good condition, and the oranges, which were a treat to some of the sisters who were out of health, although there was not much the matter with them. All the rest is delicious, and there are sweetmeats in plenty. I gave some of them to Doña Luisa who called yesterday. Had I known she liked them so much, I would have sent them all to her in your name, for she is delighted with the smallest gift from us, and it looks better for us not to give expensive presents to such great ladies. My brother sent me the best box of sweets that he received from you. I am glad they cost you nothing ; you can perfeftly well ask for such things from those you see are willing to give you them, saying that you want them for Ulana or for some other person, and then you will not be spending the funds of the convent.

I did not send the box of sweets from my brother to the Prioress of Malagon, as they would injure her in her state of high fever, so I ask you not to forward her any dainties that heat the blood. But it would be a very good thing to let her have some oranges or other things suited to invalids, as she suffers from severe nausea. I should very much like to have her brought here. As I have great hopes that Loja water might cure her, I have written to our Father asking him whether he will be in the neighbourhood and will have some taken to her. I believe they nurse her carefully as I have insisted upon it. Buttercakes are what she fancies most at present.

I should like to have written at far greater length in answer to all your letters (which arrived safely), but the muleteer starts to-morrow, and you see what a parcel I am sending our Father. Forgive me the heavy cost of the messenger: the matter they treat of is so important that I had to pay him well. Will you see Fray Gregorio at once about the letters and ask him from me to put the packet into the hands of a thoroughly trustworthy bearer immediately. If Diego is in Seville, he will take them gladly for love of me. Let no one have them unless you can find some one who is to be depended upon and who can go at once, for I should never have dared to send some of them, had I not been sure of the muleteer.

People at Toledo know of the order sent me by the General while I was at Seville. It forbids not only me, but all the other nuns, to leave their own convent, so that they cannot be sent elsewhere as prioress, or in any other capacity. This would be utter destruólion for us if our Father's commission were to cease, for our permission to be under the jurisdidion of the Discalced Fathers would not be valid unless he were to declare, while still holding the Apostolic Commission, that we might continue as before.' This would suffice both for me and for the rest of the sisters. We might be in such a case at any moment, so for charity's sake, lose no time. The bearer of the letters could wait for the answer which would not take long to write, and could bring it back to you; but if you cannot send them by the muleteer and pay him well, do not send them at all. Will you tell our Father that I wrote, asking him to give you his answer.

It is wonderful how foolish we have been! The administrator who has a great knowledge of the law, and Doftor Velasquez, have examined the question, and they both declare the thing can be done and send instrudlions about it. May God direft the matter as may best conduce to His service! I have been advised to prosecute the affair without delay, and am doing so.

It is fortunate that we did not forward the money to Alonzo Ruiz, as the alcalde is here and can take it to him. I had already direfted the person charged with paying the messenger to give him twenty reales so that we should not be constantly in debt for small sums; however they must do as your Reverence direñs.

We also kept a little of the gum; I was about to ask you for some. They make lozenges of it with sugared essence of roses which do my colds a great deal of good. A large quantity is being sent away; it will be taken with great care next Thursday. I am truly glad to learn that you are well, but be sure not to treat yourself as though you were strong, lest you should make us more anxious than ever, for you have caused me very great worry.

My kind remembrances to the Subprioress and sisters and all my friends. I will write to you soon by the courier and will say no more now except that Casilda has made her profession.

God keep you for me, my daughter, and make a saint of you. Amen.

Your Reverence's servant, Teresa de Jesus.

Many kind messages from me to Garci Alvarez, to his cousin, and to.every one else.

CLXX

Prefatory note This letter is called the Vejamen or satire. The Vejamen v/as a ceremony practised at the university of Alcalá on the eve of bestowing the degree of Doctor of Divinity. The candidate sat on a platform facing the whole body of the university with a professor seated on each side of him, one of whom complimented him with the most ridiculous and overwhelming flattery in Castilian verse, the other taunted him with every imaginable defect of mind and body. This custom was kept up until 1830. St. Teresa evidently personates the latter critic. She had consulted her brother Lorenzo as to the meaning of the v/ords : 'Seek thyself in Me, spoken to her by our Lord during prayer. St. John of the Cross, Francisco de Salcedo, and Father Julian of Avila had written explanatlons of the words which were to be laid before the nuns of St. Joseph's, when the matter came to the ears of the Bishop of Avila. He declared that the Saint should be the judge and told her to give her opinion in the form of a Vejamen. Nothing remains of their essays except some prosy verse by Don Lorenzo; some of the nuns seem to have written on the subject also. St. Teresa gave herinterpretation of the words in the poem: Alma, buscar te has en mi.' {Minor Works of St. Teresa. Poem x. See aslo Rel. iii. 9., and Interior Castle Mans. iv. ch. iii, i.) Don Francisco's feelings were hurt, as appears in the Letter of Feb. 10.