Letter (number unidentified). To Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, Avila, Toledo. February 10, 1577

Spiritual advice. Affairs of the order and Lorefizo's family,

Jesus be with your Honour.

1HAD recovered from my weakness of the other day, but seemed very bilious, and lest it should prevent my fasting in Lent, I took a purgative. However, I had so much to do and so many letters on the same day, that I was writing until two o'clock in the morning which gave me a severe headache. I believe that in the end this will benefit me, as the doótor has forbidden me to write after midnight and I am to employ a secretary sometimes. I certainly have been working too hard this winter for which I am much to blame, for I took time from my sleep in order to leave the mornings free, and as I wrote after my sickness, all conspired to injure me. Although I was very ill on the day I took medicine, I seem to be getting better. Do not feel anxious about me, for I take great care of myself. I mention it so that you should know the reason if you sometimes receive letters from me in another handwriting, or if they are very brief.

I look after myself as well as possible and was vexed at what you sent me, for I would rather you had eaten it yourself. Sweet things do not suit me, although I have taken some of this and shall again. But you must not send any more or you will annoy me very much. Is it not enough that I never treat you to anything sweet?

I do not understand about the Pater nosters you recite while taking the discipline : I said nothing about them. Read my letter again and you will see. You must on no account do more than I advise: that is, take it twice a week. In Lent you may wear a hair shirt once a week, on the condition that you leave it off if you find it injures you, for you are so sanguine that I very much fear it will be bad for you. I cannot consent to your taking the discipline more often as it injures the eyesight — besides, it is a greater penance to moderate one's mortifications at first, which breaks the will. You must tell me whether the hair shirt makes you feel ill.

The peaceful prayer you mention is the prayer VOL. II. 17 of quiet described in the little book/ The movements of your senses, as I told you, are to try you; I am convinced that they are of no account, and that it is best not to notice them. A very learned theologian once told me that a man came to him in great distress because whenever he received Holy Communion he was troubled with temptations against purity of a far worse kind than yours and had been told only to receive the yearly Communion which is of obligation. Although the theologian was not a spiritual man, he understood that it was a temptation and told the man to pay no attention to it but to communicate every week. When he lost his fear of it, the trial left him. You, too, must attach no importance to such thoughts.

You can consult Julian of Avila on all points, for he is very good. He tells me that he gets on well with you, of which I am extremely glad. You should visit him from time to time, and when you wish to do him a kindness give him an ahns, for he is very poor and detached from money. In my opinion he is one of the best priests in Avila. Such society is good for us for we cannot be always at prayer.

As regards sleep, I advise, in fadl I order you not to take less than six hours. Remember, we who are getting old must take care of our bodies lest they should weaken the intelled:, which is a terrible trial. You would not believe what misery I am suffering, for I dare neither read nor pray, though, as I said, my health is better. But I assure you, I shall take warning for the future. So follow

• he Way ofFerfection ch. xxx, xxxi.

my advice by which you will fulfil your duty to God. How foolish to suppose that this is the same prayer that kept me awake ! There is no resemblance between them, for I made far greater efforts to go to sleep than to remain awake. I thank our Lord heartily for the favours He shows you and the good effeóls they leave. This proves His power, for you are left with virtues which you could not have acquired by prolonged efforts. Believe me, your brain exhaustion does not come from eating or sleeping too much, so obey what I tell you. Our Lord has shown me great mercy by giving you such good health. May He preserve it for many years so that you may employ it in His service.

The dread you experience is certainly produced by your spirit's realizing the presence of the evil spirit, and although you do not see it with your bodily eyes, your soul must either see or feel it. Keep some holy water near you; nothing drives the devil away more quickly. It has often stood me in good stead. Sometimes I have not only been seized with fear but have been terribly tormented as well. Let no one know this. But the demon does not go unless the holy water touches him, so you must sprinkle it all around you.

Believe me, it is no small boon that you sleep so soundly : God gives you a great blessing. I repeat that you must not curtail your rest, for you cannot do so at your age.

It seems to me very charitable of you to be

• In her deposition for the canonization, Teresita declares that sometimes St. Teresa's head trembled and her body was covered with bruises from the blows given her by the devil.

willing to bear trials and to leave consolations to other people: it is a great grace from Cod that you should even think of such a thing, though you are very simple and wanting in humility if you imagine that, without prayer, you could acquire such virtues as those which God has given to Francisco de Salcedo or to yourself. Trust my word and leave all to the Lord of life who knows which each of us needs. Never have I asked of Him interior trials though He has sent me very heavy ones during my life-time. Such sufferings depend upon our constitution and humours. I am glad you are beginning to understand that saint: I want you to bear with his condition very patiently.

I guessed what the result of my satire' would be and that your feelings would be hurt, but I could not judge the effort seriously. If you examine what I said, you will find that I praised some points; as regards your answer, I could not have written otherwise without telling a falsehood. The truth is my head was in such a state that I do not know how I managed to write as well as I did, I was so overwhelmed with business and letters — I think the devil must pile them together sometimes as the same thing happened on the night I took the medicine. It was a miracle that I did not send the Bishop of Carthagena a letter I had written to Father Gracian's mother. I put the wrong address and had already fastened it up. I cannot thank God enough about it, for I had told her how the Bishop's Vicar had treated the nuns of Caravaca. I have never met him, but he seems to be mad. Lie prohibited the celebration of Mass in their chapel, but this has been remedied and 1 believe the rest will come right; I mean that he will allow the convent to remain. He could do no less as other letters of recommendation besides my own are being forwarded to him. You see how fortunate it was, and what an escape I had.

However, we are still anxious about that Tostado, who is just returning to court. Pray about it. You must read the enclosed letter from the Prioress of Seville. I was delighted with your letter to her which she forwarded, also with yours to the nuns, which really is charming. They kiss your hands repeatedly and are exceedingly pleased with your note, especially my companion, the sister of fifty years of age who accompanied us from Malagon. She is turning out remarkably well and is very sensible. When I say remarkably well, I mean as regards my personal comfort, for she takes great care of me.

The Prioress of Valladolid writes saying that all was done that could be done respecting that affair. She adds that Pedro de Ahumada was there. Believe me, the merchant engaged in the business understands it: do not be anxious. Remember me to Pedro de Ahumada and to my little ones, especially Francisco; I should like to see them. You did right in dismissing the maid though you had no complaint against her. When there are so many servants, they only get in one another's way. Never forget to give kind messages from me to Doña Juana, Pedro Alvarez, and the rest. My head is much better since I began this letter: I do not know whether it is on account of the pleasure of writing to you.

Do6lor Velasquez, my confessor, came to see me to-day. I consulted him ahout your plan of giving up the use of plate and carpets, as I should not like you to be stopped from serving God devoutly through any fault of mine. Therefore in such matters I never rely on my private opinion, although in this case it was the same as his. He says that such things do not matter as long as you realize their unimportance and are detached from them. This is only reasonable, for as, later on, you must arrange marriages for your sons, your house ought to be suited to your position in life. He added that you must be patient, for God always gives us an opportunity to carry out our good purposes as He will in your case. May He preserve you to me and make you a great saint. Amen. February loth.

I am your Honour's servant Teresa de Jesus.