X — MEDITATIVE READING

Presence of God. — O Lord, teach me to seek you even when the heart is arid and the mind distracted.

Meditation

1 — Vocal prayer, when well done, is the simplest and most direct way to converse with God; but it is logical that the soul feels the need of an interior relationship, more intimate, and thus spontaneously seeks mental prayer. If divine attraction infuses into it a certain sensible devotion, the soul has no difficulty recollecting itself in God, which then becomes very easy and sweet. It is not so when it is left to itself: the mobility of its imagination makes it unable to fix thought on a determined point. St. Teresa notes that not a few suffer from these continual wanderings, by which “they are in turmoil, whether this comes from nature or whether the Lord so permits.”

Those who find themselves in similar conditions are easily tempted to abandon mental prayer, which proves so burdensome to them that they judge it an almost impossible undertaking. The Saint is of quite another opinion and insists that these souls too can apply themselves to it fruitfully, though they must do so in a somewhat particular way, which consists in helping themselves with reading. “A book,” she says, “helps them very much to recollect themselves; indeed for them it is indispensable. Let them read then, even if little, but let them read” (Life 4, 8).

Certainly this does not mean spending the time of mental prayer in continuous reading, but using a devout book from which to draw, now and then, a good thought that serves to recollect oneself in God, to place oneself in contact with Him. St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who habitually suffered aridity, made great use of this method: “In these powerlessnesses” - she says - “Holy Scripture and the Imitation come to my aid. But what above all occupies me in my meditations is the Gospel: from it I draw all that is necessary for my poor soul. I always discover in it new lights, mysterious and hidden meanings” (St. 8).

2 — St. Teresa of Jesus - who, before being raised to high contemplative states, knew for a long time aridity and the torment of importunate thoughts during prayer - said: “I spent more than fourteen years unable to meditate except with the help of a book... With the book I gathered my scattered thoughts and immersed myself in prayer with delight. Often it was enough for me just to open the book; at times I read a little and at other times much, according to the graces the Lord gave me” (Way 17, 3; Life 4, 8).

It is important to choose a book suitable for meditation, as in general are the writings of the Saints. Especially preferable will be a book already read, whose efficacy has already been experienced; we may also have marked the passages that struck us most, so as to rely more on them than on mental work. One reads only as much as is needed to recollect oneself and converse with God. Therefore, as soon as we have read - and it may be only a single sentence - and our spirit has been stirred, we must suspend reading and go directly to the Lord to ruminate on the thoughts read, or to savor some impulse awakened in the heart, or to repeat those acts that grace has inspired in us. An image: like doves when they drink, bowing their beak and raising their head toward heaven, they drink and then grow quiet for a while, and then begin again. So with us: we bow our head over the book to read, and then raise ourselves for intimate colloquy with God.

Colloquy

O Lord, teach me to seek You! Do not hide Yourself from my gaze, for I need to find You, to converse with You, to draw near to You, Infinite Love, to be inflamed and drawn by You.

“Then shall I, dust and ashes, speak to You, my Lord? Yes, from this valley of tears, from this place of exile, I dare to raise my eyes and fix them on You, supreme Goodness! And, as faithful servants and handmaids attentively watch every slight gesture of their masters, so I keep my gaze fixed on Your hands, O Lord, and as a suppliant beg You to show me mercy.

“Good God, have mercy on me, the work of Your hands. O Lord, of myself I am incapable of forming any good thought, but all my sufficiency comes from You; nor can I worthily invoke Your name without the help of the Holy Spirit; therefore I beg You to send me Your Spirit, so that from on high He may shed upon me the rays of His light. Come, O most sweet Spirit; come, O Father of the poor; come, dispenser of graces; come, light of hearts; come, best Consoler, sweet Guest and refreshment of our souls. You are rest in toil, dew in aridity, consolation in weeping. O most blessed Light! fill all the innermost parts of my heart” (cf. St. Peter of Alcantara).

O Lord, enlighten my mind, for without Your light, without Your Spirit, even the most devout books will leave me cold and arid and will not be able to speak to me of You. When, on the other hand, You come to my aid and grant me Your interior grace, then everything is illumined with a new light and even the simplest words serve to nourish my soul. Grant me, therefore, O Lord, this grace, without which no reading, however sublime, can inspire me with devotion, no reasoning, however elevated, is capable of moving my heart to love You and my will to do good.