XXI — PRACTICAL CONDUCT

Presence of God. — O Lord, may your light always guide me so that I do not go astray on my way.

Meditation

1 — In this period of transition between meditation and contemplation, it is very important that the soul understand well what that “general and loving attentiveness to God” of which St. John of the Cross speaks consists in, so as to know how it must conduct itself in order to draw the best fruits. For the Saint, this loving attentiveness to God, that is, prayer, results from an exercise of the theological virtues under the secret and delicate influence of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. In other words, on the soul’s part it is an exercise of faith and love so intense and continued that, without recurring to continual repetition of distinct acts, it places it in an attitude of simple and loving reference to God. Clearly, this is not a matter of remaining idle, but of keeping one’s gaze fixed on God, by an act of faith and love. But it is not always so easy: the Holy Spirit comes to the soul’s aid with the secret activation of his gifts, orienting and guiding it, infusing into it a loving knowledge of Himself. And so, although this requires greater effort than remaining recollected in reading a devout book.

Nevertheless, the soul can persevere long in such a purely contemplative and loving attitude: St. John of the Cross says that the soul to which God gives this grace “delights in remaining in God’s love, without particulars, in interior peace and quiet” (As. II, 15, 4). At times, naturally, the influence of the gifts will be stronger and more delightful, so as to keep it thus united to God; often - especially at the beginning - it will be weaker and therefore more arid and, in general, will always proceed by fluctuations; therefore cases in which the soul, to keep itself recollected in God, must use some expedient will not be rare, and then it will be very useful for it to apply itself mainly to renewing from time to time acts of faith and love, precisely because its principal part in this prayer consists in an intense exercise of faith and love.

2 — Speaking of the passage from meditation to contemplation, St. John of the Cross notes that it is not accomplished in all in the same way, not only in the sense that it is not effected in all in an equally progressive manner, but also because God does not place all souls in the state of contemplation. In The Ascent of Mount Carmel (II, 15), he teaches that the soul must not definitively abandon meditation until the habit of contemplation has been formed in it, and he recalls in this regard that more than once the soul finds itself in contemplation from the first moment of prayer, while at other times it is necessary at the beginning to help itself a little with meditation. Indeed, he says expressly: “as long as one can reason with pleasure in meditation, one must not leave it, except when established in the peace and quiet... of loving attention to God” (As. II, 13, 24). There may therefore be a period of fluctuation, more or less long, between meditation and contemplation. Indeed, there may be souls whom God never entirely withdraws from prayer that is more or less meditative.

This makes us understand once more that the fact of having reached initial contemplation does not dispense the soul from its personal activity. First of all, it must always prepare itself diligently for prayer, also having recourse to the help of a book; then, if it does not succeed in applying itself to reflect on what it has read, this will at least have served to gather its mind in God. Likewise, it must always begin its prayer by placing itself well in the Lord’s presence and then proceed according to the grace of the moment, grateful to God for what He gives, and diligent in helping grace with the reading of the book if it feels this gives it ease and otherwise it would remain in emptiness. One must keep in mind that, even when the soul is placed in loving attention to God, the imagination can run here and there, “for it” - says St. John of the Cross - “even in time of great recollection is wont to wander” (As. II, 13, 3), and this will indicate that one should return to reading. But if the soul seeks rather to recollect itself beyond every movement of thought and if in this way it can remain united to God, even in aridity, then so be it, though this requires greater effort than recollecting oneself in reading a devout book.

Colloquy

“O Lord my God, I seek you solicitously, my soul thirsts for you, my flesh longs for you, languishing and without water” (Ps. 62).

“Who will grant that I find rest in you? who will grant that You come into my heart and inebriate it and that I forget my evils and embrace You, my only good? What are you to me? Permit me, in your goodness, to speak. What am I to you, that You command me to love You and, if I do not love You, threaten me with so many punishments? Poor and little am I, born of your mercy, tell me, O my Lord: what are you to me? Say to my soul: I am your salvation. Say it so as to make yourself heard. Open my heart, Lord, open it; let your salvation come. I will run after You and cling to You. Do not hide your face from me, so that with faith those who take refuge in You may find You.

“Increase in me faith; increase in me charity” (St. Augustine).

O Lord, give me unshakable faith, give me ardent charity. Faith and love are the guide that lead me by unknown paths to You. Grant that I may know how to walk in faith and love, and in faith and love know how to await your visit to my soul. O Holy Spirit, who prays in me “with inexpressible groanings,” come help my misery, come enliven my faith, awaken charity in me. You who search “the depths of the divine mysteries” (cf. I Cor. 2, 10), instruct me, teach me, make me know my God. You who are the Spirit of Love, give me a loving knowledge of Him, so that my spirit may be wholly oriented and wholly taken up by Him.