Consideration III - THE BREVITY OF LIFE

"Quae est vita vestra? vapor est ad modicum parens" (James 4:15).

Point I

What is our life? It is like a vapor that vanishes at a little wind, and is no more. Everyone knows that they must die; but the illusion of many is that they imagine death so distant, as if it were never to come. But no — Job warns us that the life of man is short: "Homo brevi vivens tempore, quasi flos egreditur, et conteritur" (Job 14). This same thing the Lord commanded Isaiah to preach: "Clama," He said to him, "omnis caro foenum... vere foenum est populus, exsiccatum est foenum, et cecidit flos" (Is. 40). The life of man is like the life of a plant of grass: death comes, the grass withers, and behold, life ends, and the flower of every greatness and every worldly good falls.

"Dies mei velociores cursore" (Job 9). Death runs to meet us faster than a runner, and we at every moment run toward death. At every step, at every breath, we draw closer to death. "What I write," says St. Jerome, "de mea vita tollitur" — "is taken from my life." During this time in which I write, I draw closer to death. "Omnes morimur, et quasi aquae dilabimur in terram, quae non revertuntur" (2 Kings 14:14). See there how that stream runs to the sea, and the waters that flow away never return; so, my brother, your days pass, and you draw near to death; pleasures pass, diversions pass, pomp passes, praises pass, acclamations pass — and what remains? "Et solum mihi superest sepulcrum" (Job 17:1). We shall be thrown into a pit, and there we must remain to rot, stripped of everything. At the point of death, the memory of all the delights enjoyed in life, of all the honors acquired, will serve only to increase our sorrow and our distrust of obtaining eternal salvation. So then — the wretched worldling will say — my house, my gardens, that fine furniture, those paintings, those garments, will shortly no longer be mine? "Et solum mihi superest sepulcrum."

Ah, at that hour no earthly good is looked upon except with pain by one who has loved it with attachment; and this pain will serve him for nothing except to place the salvation of his soul in greater danger. For experience shows that such persons, attached to the world, at death do not wish to hear anything spoken of but their illness, what doctors can be called, and what remedies might help; and when one speaks to them of the soul, they immediately grow weary and tell you to let them rest, because their head aches and they cannot bear to listen. And if at times they respond, they are confused and do not know what to say. And often confessors give them absolution, not because they are known to be properly disposed, but because there is no time to wait. Thus die those who give little thought to death.

Affections and Prayers

Ah, my God and Lord of infinite majesty, I am ashamed to appear before You. How many times have I dishonored You, setting aside Your grace for a sordid pleasure, a burst of anger, a bit of earth, a whim, a puff of smoke! I adore and kiss, O my Redeemer, Your holy wounds — wounds that I indeed inflicted on You by my sins — but from these very wounds I hope for pardon and salvation. Make me understand, O my Jesus, the great wrong I have done You in leaving You, the fountain of every good, to drink of putrid and poisoned waters. What have I gained from so many offenses against You but pain, remorse of conscience, and merits for hell? "Pater, non sum dignus vocari filius tuus." My Father, do not cast me away.

It is true that I no longer deserve Your grace, which would make me Your son; but You died to pardon me. You have said: "Convertimini ad me, et convertar ad vos" (Zech. 1:3). I leave all my satisfactions, I renounce all the pleasures the world can give me, and I turn to You.

Pardon me for the sake of the blood shed for me, for I repent with all my heart of all the outrages I have committed against You. I repent, and I love You above all things. I am not worthy to love You, but You are worthy of being loved. Accept me to love You; do not disdain that heart which once despised You should love You now. You purposely did not let me die when I was in sin, so that I might love You; yes, I wish to love You in the life that remains to me, and I wish to love nothing else but You. Help me; give me holy perseverance and Your holy love.

Mary, my refuge, commend me to Jesus Christ.

Point II

King Hezekiah wept: "Praecisa est velut a texente vita mea, dum adhuc ordirer, succidit me" (Is. 38). Oh, how many, just when they are best weaving the fabric — that is, planning and carrying out their worldly designs, taken with so many calculations — are cut short by death, which severs everything! By the light of that last candle, everything of this world vanishes: applause, amusements, pomp, and grandeur. Great secret of death! It makes us see what the lovers of the world do not see. The most envied fortunes, the greatest positions, the proudest triumphs lose all their splendor when viewed from the deathbed. The ideas of certain false happinesses that we have formed for ourselves are then changed into indignation at our own folly. The dark and mournful shadow of death covers and obscures all dignities, even royal ones.

Now the passions make the goods of this earth appear other than what they are; death uncovers them and shows them as they truly are: smoke, mud, vanity, and misery. O God! Of what use are riches, fiefs, and kingdoms at death, when nothing is allotted but a wooden coffin and a simple garment, just enough to cover the flesh? Of what use are honors, when nothing is allotted but a funeral procession and a pompous exequy that will avail the soul nothing if the soul is lost? Of what use is bodily beauty, when nothing then remains but worms, stench, and horror, even before dying, and then a bit of foul-smelling dust?

"Posuit me quasi in proverbium vulgi, et exemplum suum coram eis" (Job 17). That rich man dies, that minister, that captain — and then he will be spoken of everywhere; but if he has lived badly, he will become the talk of the people, "Proverbium vulgi, et exemplum"; and as an example of the vanity of the world and even of divine justice, he will serve for the correction of others. In the grave he will then lie confused among the other corpses of the poor. "Parvus et magnus ibi sunt" (Job 3). Of what use was the fine form of his body, if now it is but a heap of worms? Of what use the authority he held, if now his body is thrown to rot in a pit, and his soul has been cast to burn in hell? Oh, what misery to serve as an object for others to make these reflections, and not to have made them for one's own benefit! Let us therefore be persuaded that the proper time to remedy the disorders of conscience is not the time of death but of life. Let us hasten to do now what we shall not be able to do then: "Tempus breve est." Everything quickly passes and ends; therefore let everything serve to gain us eternal life.

Affections and Prayers

O God of my soul, O infinite Goodness, have pity on me, who have so greatly offended You. I knew well that by sinning I was losing Your grace, and yet I chose to lose it. Tell me, what must I do to recover it? If You wish me to repent of my sins, yes, I repent of them with all my heart; I could wish to die of sorrow. If You wish me to hope for pardon from You, yes, I hope for it through the merits of Your blood. If You wish me to love You above all things, I leave everything, I renounce all the pleasures and goods the world can give me, and I love You more than every good, O my most lovable Savior. If You then wish me to ask You for graces, I ask two graces of You: do not permit me to offend You again, and grant that I may love You; and then deal with me as You will.

Mary, my hope, obtain these two graces for me; from you I hope for them.

Point III

What folly, then, for the miserable and brief delights of this so brief life, to risk making a bad death — and with it begin an unhappy eternity! Oh, how much that last moment weighs, that last gasp, that final closing of the scene! It weighs an eternity of either all joys or all torments. It weighs a life either forever happy or forever unhappy. Let us consider that Jesus Christ willed to die with a death so bitter and ignominious in order to obtain for us a good death. To this end He gives us so many calls, grants us so many lights, warns us with so many threats, so that we may make certain to finish that last moment in the grace of God.

Even a pagan, Antisthenes, when asked what was the greatest fortune in this world, answered: "A good death." And what will a Christian say, who knows by faith that from that moment eternity begins; so that at that moment one seizes one of two wheels, which draws after it either an eternal enjoyment or an eternal suffering? If in a bag there were two slips, on one of which was written "hell" and on the other "paradise," and one of them was to fall to you — what diligence would you not use to guess and take the one for paradise? Those wretches who are condemned to gamble for their lives — O God, how they tremble as they stretch out their hand to cast the dice, on whose outcome their life or death depends!

What terror it will be when you find yourself near that last moment, when you will say: On this point, which I am approaching, depends my life or my eternal death! Now it is being decided whether I shall be blessed forever or in despair forever. St. Bernardine of Siena tells of a certain prince who, as he lay dying, said in utter terror: Behold, I have so many lands and so many palaces in this world; but if I die this night, I know not what dwelling shall fall to me!

My brother, if you believe that one must die and that there is an eternity, and that one dies but once, so that if you err then, you will have erred forever without hope of remedy — how is it that you do not resolve, from this very moment that you read, to do all you can to secure a good death? St. Andrew Avellino trembled, saying: Who knows what lot will be mine in the next life? Whether I shall be saved or damned? St. Louis Bertrand also trembled so greatly that at night he could not sleep for the thought that said to him: And who knows whether you will be damned? And you, who find yourself with so many sins committed, do you not tremble? Quickly, make amends in time; resolve to give yourself truly to God; and begin at least from this time a life that will not afflict you but console you at death. Give yourself to prayer, frequent the Sacraments, leave dangerous occasions; and if need be, leave the world as well. Secure your eternal salvation; and understand that to secure eternal salvation, no amount of assurance is ever enough.

Affections and Prayers

O my dear Savior, how much I owe You! And how could You bestow so many graces upon an ingrate, upon a traitor, such as I have been to You? You created me, and in creating me You already saw the injuries I was to do You. You redeemed me by dying for me, and even then You saw the ingratitude I was to show You. Then, placed in the world, I turned my back on You, and by this I was dead, I was a fetid dog, and You by Your grace restored life to me. I was blinded, and You gave me light. I had lost You, and You let Yourself be found by me. I was Your enemy, and You made me Your friend.

O God of mercy, make me know the obligations I owe You, and make me weep over the offenses I have committed against You. Ah, take vengeance on me by giving me great sorrow for my sins; but do not punish me by depriving me of Your grace and Your love.

O Eternal Father, I abhor and detest above every evil the injuries I have done You. Have pity on me for the love of Jesus Christ. Behold Your Son dead upon the cross. "Sanguis eius super me": let this divine blood descend to wash my soul. O King of my heart, "adveniat regnum tuum." I am resolved to drive out every affection that is not for You. I love You above all things; come to reign alone in my soul; grant that I may love You, and love nothing but You. I desire to please You as much as I can, and to satisfy You fully in the life that remains to me. Bless, O my Father, this desire of mine, and give me the grace to keep myself always united to You. All my affections I consecrate to You, and from this day forward I wish to belong to no one but You, my treasure, my peace, my hope, my love, my all; and I hope for everything from You through the merits of Your Son.

My Queen and Mother Mary, help me with your intercession: Mother of God, pray for me.