Consideration XV - THE MALICE OF MORTAL SIN

"Filios enutrivi, et exaltavi, ipsi autem spreverunt me" (Is. 1:2).

Point I

What does one who commits a mortal sin do? He injures God, dishonors Him, embitters Him. First of all, mortal sin is an injury done to God. The malice of an injury, as St. Thomas says, is measured by the person who receives it and the person who inflicts it. An injury done to a peasant is an evil, but it is a greater crime if done to a nobleman; greater still if done to a monarch. Who is God? He is the King of kings. "Dominus Dominantium est, et Rex Regum" (Rev. 17:14). God is an infinite Majesty, in comparison with whom all the princes of the earth and all the saints and angels of heaven are less than a grain of sand. "Quasi stilla situlae, pulvis exiguus" (Is. 40:15). Indeed, Hosea says that in the face of the greatness of God all creatures are so insignificant as if they did not exist: "Omnes gentes quasi non sint, sic sunt coram Eo." This is God. And who is man? St. Bernard: "Saccus vermium, cibus vermium." A sack of worms and food for worms, which will soon devour him. "Miser, et pauper, et caecus, et nudus" (Rev. 3:17). Man is a wretched worm who can do nothing, blind and unable to see anything, poor and naked and possessing nothing. And this miserable worm dares to injure a God! "Tam terribilem maiestatem audet vilis pulvisculus irritare!" says the same St. Bernard. The Angelic Doctor is right, then, in saying that the sin of man contains a malice that is quasi-infinite: "Peccatum habet quandam infinitatem malitiae ex infinitate divinae maiestatis." Indeed, St. Augustine calls sin absolutely an "infinitum malum." Hence, if all men and all the angels were to offer themselves to die and even to be annihilated, they could not make satisfaction for a single sin. God punishes mortal sin with the great penalty of hell, but however much He punishes it, all theologians say that He always punishes it "citra condignum" — that is, less than it deserves to be punished.

And what penalty can ever suffice to punish as it deserves a worm that takes on its Lord? God is the Lord of all, because He created all. "In ditione tua cuncta sunt posita, tu enim creasti omnia" (Esther 13). And indeed all creatures obey God: "Venti et mare obediunt ei" (Matt. 8:27). "Ignis, grando, nix, glacies faciunt verbum eius" (Ps. 148:8). But man, when he sins, what does he do? He says to God: Lord, I do not wish to serve You. "Confregisti iugum meum; dixisti, non serviam" (Jer. 2:20). The Lord tells him: Do not take revenge; and the man answers: I will take revenge. Do not take the goods of others; and I will take them. Deprive yourself of that dishonest pleasure; and I will not deprive myself of it. The sinner says to God what Pharaoh said when Moses brought him God's command to set His people free; the rash man answered: "Quis est Dominus, ut audiam vocem eius? nescio Dominum" (Exod. 5:2). The sinner says the same: Lord, I do not know You; I wish to do what pleases me. In short, he loses respect for God to His face and turns his back on Him. This is precisely what mortal sin is: a turning of the back on God — "Aversio ab incommutabili bono" (St. Thomas). Of this the Lord complains: "Tu reliquisti me, dicit Dominus; retrorsum abiisti" (Jer. 15:6). You are the ungrateful one, says God, who left Me, for I would never have left you: "retrorsum abiisti" — you turned your back on Me.

God has declared that He hates sin; hence He cannot help but hate the one who commits it. "Similiter autem odio sunt Deo impius, et impietas eius" (Wis. 14:9). And man, when he sins, dares to declare himself God's enemy and takes God on face to face: "Contra Omnipotentem roboratus est" (Job 15:25). What would you say if you saw an ant trying to take on a soldier? God is that powerful one who from nothing, with a nod, created heaven and earth. "Ex nihilo fecit illa Deus" (2 Macc. 7:28). And if He wishes, with another nod He can destroy all: "Potest universum mundum uno nutu delere" (2 Macc. 8:18). And the sinner, when he consents to sin, stretches out his hand against God: "Tetendit adversus Deum manum suam; cucurrit adversus eum erecto collo, pingui cervice armatus est." He lifts up his neck — that is, his pride — and runs to injure God, and arms himself with a fat neck — that is, with ignorance (fat being a symbol of ignorance), saying: "Quid feci?" "What great evil is this sin I committed? God is merciful; He pardons sinners." What an injury! What presumption! What blindness!

Affections and Prayers

Behold, O my God, at Your feet the rebel, the rash one, who has so many times dared to lose respect for You to Your face and to turn his back on You; but who now begs Your mercy. You have said: "Clama ad me, et exaudiam te" (Jer. 33:3). One hell is too little for me — I already know it. But know that I grieve more for having offended You, O infinite Goodness, than if I had lost all my goods and my life. Ah, my Lord, pardon me, and do not permit me to offend You again. You have waited for me so that I might bless Your mercy forever and love You. Yes, I bless You and I love You, and I trust in the merits of Jesus Christ that I shall never again separate myself from Your love. Your love has freed me from hell; this must free me in the future from sin. I thank You, my Lord, for this light and for the desire You give me to love You always. Ah, take possession of all of me: my soul and body, my faculties, my senses, my will, my freedom. "Tuus sum ego, salvum me fac." You who are the only Good, the only lovable one, be You also my only love. Give me fervor in loving You. I have greatly offended You, and therefore it cannot suffice me to love You; I wish to love You greatly, to make amends for the injuries I have done You. From You I hope for it, for You are almighty.

And I also hope for it from your prayers, O Mary, which are all-powerful before God.

Point II

The sinner not only injures God but dishonors Him. "Per praevaricationem legis Deum inhonoras" (Rom. 2:23). Yes, because he renounces His grace, and for a miserable pleasure tramples the friendship of God underfoot. If man were to lose the divine friendship to gain a kingdom, even the whole world, it would still be a great evil, because God's friendship is worth more than the world and a thousand worlds. But why does a person offend God?

"Propter quid irritavit impius Deum?" (Ps. 10:13). For a bit of earth, for a burst of anger, for a bestial pleasure, for a puff of smoke, for a whim. "Violabant me propter pugillum hordei, et fragmen panis" (Ezek. 13:19). When the sinner sets about deliberating whether or not to give consent to sin, he then (so to speak) takes the scales in hand and weighs which is heavier: the grace of God, or that outburst, that vanity, that pleasure. And when he then gives consent, he declares, as far as in him lies, that that outburst, that pleasure, is worth more than the divine friendship. Behold God put to shame by the sinner! David, considering the greatness and majesty of God, said: "Domine, quis similis tibi?" (Ps. 34:10). But God, on the other hand, when He sees Himself compared by sinners to a miserable satisfaction and set below it, says to them: "Cui assimilastis me, et adaequastis me, dicit Sanctus?" (Is. 40:25). So then, says the Lord, that vile pleasure was worth more than My grace? "Proiecisti me post corpus tuum" (Ezek. 23:35). You would not have committed that sin if you had had to lose a hand, or ten coins, and perhaps much less. So God alone, says Salvian, is so vile in your eyes that He deserves to be set below a whim, a wretched satisfaction: "Deus solus in comparatione omnium tibi vilis fuit." Moreover, when the sinner for some pleasure offends God, he then makes that pleasure his god, making it his last end. St. Jerome says: "Unusquisque quod cupit, si veneratur, hoc illi Deus est. Vitium in corde, est idolum in altari." Hence St. Thomas says: "Si amas delicias, deliciae dicuntur Deus tuus." And St. Cyprian: "Quidquid homo Deo anteponit, Deum sibi facit." Jeroboam, when he rebelled against God, tried to draw the people also into idolatry, and so he presented them his idols and said: "Ecce dii tui, Israel" (3 Kings 12:28). The devil does the same: he presents the sinner that satisfaction and says: What do you want with God? Behold your god — this pleasure, this outburst — take this and leave God. And the sinner, when he consents, does just this: he worships as God in his heart that satisfaction. "Vitium in corde est idolum in altari."

At least, if the sinner dishonors God, let him not do so in His presence! But no — he injures and dishonors Him to His face, because God is present everywhere. "Coelum et terram ego impleo" (Jer. 23:24). And the sinner already knows this, and yet he does not hold back from provoking God before His very eyes. "Ad iracundiam provocant me ante faciem meam" (Is. 65:3).

Affections and Prayers

So then, my God, You are an infinite Good, and I have more than once exchanged You for a miserable pleasure that was no sooner enjoyed than it vanished. But You, though despised by me, now offer me pardon if I want it, and promise to receive me into Your grace if I repent of having offended You. Yes, my Lord, I repent with all my heart of having so outraged You; I hate my sin above every evil. Behold — as I hope — I now return to You, and You already receive me and embrace me as Your child. I thank You, infinite Goodness. But help me now, and do not permit me to drive You from me again. Hell will not cease to tempt me, but You are more powerful than hell. I know that I shall not separate myself from You if I always commend myself to You. This, then, is the grace You must grant me: that I may always commend myself to You and always pray to You, as I now say: Lord, assist me; give me light; give me strength; give me perseverance; give me paradise; but above all, grant me Your love, which is the true paradise of souls. I love You, infinite Goodness, and I wish to love You always. Hear me, for the love of Jesus Christ.

Mary, you are the refuge of sinners; help a sinner who wishes to love your God.

Point III

Sin injures God, dishonors Him, and thereby grieves Him beyond measure. There is no bitterness more keenly felt than to see oneself repaid with ingratitude by a person loved and benefited. With whom does the sinner contend? He injures a God who created him and loved him so much as to give His blood and His life for love of him; and by committing mortal sin he drives God from his heart. In a soul that loves God, God comes to dwell. "Si quis diligit me, Pater meus diliget eum et ad eum veniemus, et mansionem apud eum faciemus" (John 14:23). Note: "Mansionem faciemus" — God comes into the soul to stay there always, so that He does not leave it unless the soul drives Him out: "Non deserit, nisi deseratur," as the Council of Trent says. But, Lord, You already know that this ingrate in another moment will drive You out. Why do You not leave now? Why wait until he himself drives You out? Leave him, depart, before he does You this great injury. No, says God, I will not depart until he himself drives Me out.

So then, when the soul consents to sin, it says to God: Lord, depart from me. "Impii dixerunt Deo, recede a nobis" (Job 21:14). It does not say it with its mouth, but by its deeds: "Recede, non verbis, sed moribus," says St. Gregory. The sinner already knows that God cannot remain with sin; he already sees that by sinning, God must depart; and so he says to Him: Since You cannot remain with my sin, then You depart — farewell. And driving God from his soul, he causes the devil to enter immediately and take possession. Through the same door by which God goes out, the enemy enters: "Tunc vadit, et assumit septem alios spiritus secum nequiores se, et intrantes habitant ibi" (Matt. 12:45). When an infant is baptized, the priest commands the devil: "Exi ab eo, immunde spiritus, et da locum Spiritui Sancto." Yes, because that soul, receiving grace, becomes a temple of God. "Nescitis, quia templum Dei estis?" (1 Cor. 3:16). But when man consents to sin, he does the very opposite: he says to God who dwells in his soul: "Exi a me, Domine, da locum diabolo." Of this very thing the Lord complained to St. Bridget, saying that He is treated by the sinner as a king driven from his own throne: "Sum tanquam rex a proprio regno expulsus, et loco mei latro pessimus electus est."

What pain would you feel if you received a grave injury from someone you had greatly benefited? This is the pain you have caused your God, who went so far as to give His life to save you. The Lord calls heaven and earth as if to pity Him, for the ingratitude that sinners show Him. "Audite coeli desuper, auribus percipe terra; filios enutrivi, et exaltavi, ipsi autem spreverunt me" (Is. 1:2). In short, sinners by their sins afflict the heart of God: "Ipsi autem ad iracundiam provocaverunt, et afflixerunt spiritum sanctum eius" (Is. 63:10).

God is not capable of sorrow, but if He were, one mortal sin would suffice to make Him die of pure grief, as Father Medina says: "Peccatum mortale, si possibile esset, destrueret ipsum Deum, eo quod causa esset tristitiae in Deo infinitae." So that, as St. Bernard says, "peccatum quantum in se est, Deum perimit." So the sinner, when he commits mortal sin, so to speak, gives poison to God; as far as in him lies, he takes His life. "Exacerbavit Dominum peccator." And as St. Paul says, he tramples underfoot the Son of God: "Qui Filium Dei conculcaverit" (Heb. 10:29). Since he despises all that Jesus Christ did and suffered to take sin away from the world.

Affections and Prayers

So then, my Redeemer, every time I have sinned, I have driven You from my soul, and I have done everything in my power to take Your life, if ever You could have died! Now I hear You asking me: "Quid feci tibi, aut in quo contristavi te? responde mihi." "What evil have I done you," You say to me, "what displeasure have I given you, that you have given Me so many displeasures?" Lord, You ask me what evil You have done me? You gave me my being and You died for me. That is the evil You have done me. What then shall I answer You? I tell You that I deserve a thousand hells; You are right to send me there. But remember the love that made You die for me on the cross; remember the blood shed for love of me, and have pity on me. But I already understand: You do not wish me to despair; indeed, You let me know that You stand at the door of my heart, from which I have driven You, and You knock with Your inspirations to enter. "Sto ad ostium, et pulso." And You tell me to open: "Aperi mihi, soror mea." Yes, my Jesus, I drive sin out; I grieve for it with all my heart, and I love You above all things. Enter, my Love; the door is open. Enter and depart from me no more. Bind me to You by Your love, and do not permit me ever to loose myself from You again. No, my God, we will separate no more. I embrace You and press You to my heart. Give me holy perseverance. "Ne permittas me separari a Te."

Mary, my Mother, help me always; pray to Jesus for me; obtain for me that I may never again lose His grace.