Letter 14. To a woman
He animates her to confide in our Lord; and he assigned divers causes, why God afflicts his servants; and of the fruit, which his Divine Majesty reaps from thence.
Do not conceive that to be anger in our Lord, which indeed proceeds from true love. For as he, who bears ill will to another, doth flatter sometimes, and fawn upon him; so true love sometimes corrects and chides. And the holy scripture saith, That the wounds, which are given by him, who love's, are better, than the false kisses of him, who hates. And therefore we do him an extreme wrong, who reproves or punishes us out of the bowels of his love, if we think or say, that he persecutes us, as if he love's us not. Do not forget, that the Mediator between God the Father and us, is Jesus Christ our lord, by whom we are beloved, and tied with so strong a bond of love, that nothing is able to undo it, if man himself do not cut the knot, by the guilt of mortal sin.
Have you so soon forgotten, that the blood of Jesus Christ cries out in the demand of mercy for us? and that his cry is so loud, as that it drowns the cry of our sins, so that it cannot be heard? Do you not know, that if our sins should still remain alive, notwithstanding that Christ Jesus died to defeat them, his death should be of little worth, since it could not work that effect? Let no man set a light price upon that, which was so highly valued by Almighty God; that he holds it for a sufficient, yea a superaboundant discharge, forasmuch as concerns his part therein, of all the sins of the whole world, and of a thousand worlds, if there were so many.
They, who are lost, are not lost for want of payment, but for want of serving themselves thereof, by means of Faith and Pennance, and the Sacraments of the holy Church. Settle once this truth in your hart, and do it sound, that Christ our lord took the business of our redemption to his own charge as verily, as if it had been his own; and he calls our sins, his: by the mouth of David, saying: Long a salute mea, verba delictorum eorum; And he demanded pardon for them, though himself committed none; and he desired with a most profound internal love, that his servants might be beloved, as if he had desired it for himself: and as he desired it, John. 17. he obtained it. For, according to the ordinance of God, he and we are so much one thing, that either he and we must be beloved, or he and we must be abhorred. And since he neither is, nor can ever be abhorred, neither can we also be so, if we be incorporated into him, by Faith and Love.. But indeed, because he is beloved, we are also beloved, and that justly: because he weighs more, towards the making of us to be beloved, than we do, to make him be abhorred. And the Father love's his Son, more, than he abhors such sinners, as are converted to him. And as one, who was much beloved by his Father, he said to him to this effect: Either love them, or love not me; for I offer myself in pardon of their sins, to the end, that they may be incorporated into myself. The greater love overcame the lesser hate, & we are beloved, pardoned, and justified: & we have great hope not to be forsaken there, where there is so strong a knot of love.
If through our weakness we be afflicted with excessive fears, (as now you are, conceiving that God hath forgotten you) our lord hath provided you a comfort, saying thus by the Prophet:
Shall the mother perhaps be able to forget to take pity upon the child of her womb? well, if she do, yet will not I forget thee; for I carry thee written in my hands. O writing, which art so firm, whose pen be hard nails, whose ink is the blood itself of him, who writes, and the paper is his own very flesh: and his word saith thus: I have loved thee with an eternal love, ●eve. 31. and therefore I have drawn thee towards me with mercy.1
Such a writing therefore as this, must not be little esteemed, especially when one finds in himself, that his soul is drawn by the sweetness of good purposes, which are signs of that eternal love, where with our Lord hath chosen and loved him. Be not therefore scandalised, or afflicted for any of these things, which happen to you: since they all are dispensed by those very hands, which were nailed to the Cross for you, in testimony of the love he bate you. And if you desire to understand, what you get hereby, in the intention of God who sends them, you must know, that they are trials, whereby you may be examined: that afterward (as one, who hath been faithful in the conflict) you may be crowned by the hand of our lord, with a Crown of justice.
And to the end, you may not think, that the particulars, which you endure, are signs of reprobation: and that they are sent by our Lord to none but wicked men, hear what David saith in his own person, and of many others, who walked in the way of God: I said in the excess of my soul, that I am cast of before the countenance of thine eyes. And though this dismay of hart, and the disfavour, which we find in the midst thereof, be a thing, which doth much afflict, and that the soul can take no aim of how it stands in the sight of God, nor how it shall stand, nor what end that Cross shall have: yet nevertheless there are few things in the world, which are so forcible to purge sins, or which teach a man so many truths, as doth this dark obscurity, and inward affliction, which makes the soul sweat drops of blood.2
Our lord sends this to his servants, that they may not depart this life, without feeling, what crosses and tribulations are, And therefore he wounds them in the spirit, wherein they live: For, if he should but wound them in temporal things, to which they are dead, they would have no sense at all thereof. You must therefore be sure to give a good account of that dangerous passage, wherein God hath been pleased to bestow you: and you must adore his judgements. And being comforted through confidence in his goodness, bow down that head of yours, without any more sifting into the matter, and open the mouth of your hart, to swallow down this pill of darkness, and desolation, and disfavour of God, through the obedience, which you own to the same God. And know for certain, that unless you have a mind to break your word, and unsay yourself in this trial, which God sends to you, you must resolve to make yourself strong, as the Angel did joshua:
and you, must live, dying every day, as S. Paul did.34
You must be baked in the fire of tribulation, that so you may grow hard, like any brick: and fit to resist the raynes, and winds of temptation, and troubles, and that you be not soft, like the daubing of a wall, which is instantly dissolved by water, and no way fit for a strong building. For the people, who are to be placed in that house of heaven, must be beaten, and hammered here on earth by the knocks of many tribulations and temptations, as it is written: Our l●●d●ry●d them, and found them worthy of himself.
Learn you therefore to sustain yourself with strong food; and strive to convert these stones of tribulation into bread, if you desire to have the testimony of being the child of God. And if he give you an appetite to eat the white, and new bread of consolation, remit it back again to the will of our lord: and be content with being sure, that you shall have so much of that in the next world, as that the sweetness thereof, will fare and fare exceed the recompense, which might be due for any bitterness sustained in this. And in steed of those hard bones, which here they gave you to be gnawed upon, by your soul: you shall there be employed in feeding upon that most savoury bread of life, which is God himself: and thereof there will never be an end. And therefore hope for this, and comfort yourself with this: for the business, whereof we are now in question, is not fit for them, who are either of a delicate life, or a weak faith.5
You will see yourself many times in such a kind of state by these afflictions, as that if you consider them with the sense of flesh and blood, you will think them to be the very marks of hell, and even a beginning thereof; but yet you must suffer it with patience, though it be without comfort yea and though you do not so much as feel your own confidence; that so you may know, what it is, to suffer in good carnest. For as long as a man's confidence is very strong, there is nothing, which can afflict him very much, but when God hides his face, and shows the soul no favour, but disfavour; and when it is persecuted by enemies, and yet feels not the help of her good friend, than indeed is it pure suffering, and hath a taste even of the very torments of hell. You will not then discern any hope, which you may have to escape, but you must content yourself with this, that you despair not; and let that discomfort be accepted by you, in penance for your sins, wherein once you took delight, and let it at length serve to make you clearly see, how little that is, which you are able to do of yourself. It is but reason, that he, who sins by loving and liking himself, should pay for it, by being inwardly and profoundly disgusted with himself; and that he, who had confidence in himself, may see, to his cost, that he is good for nothing.
Through this fire must you pass, if you desire to enjoy the rest of heaven. In this war must you overcome, if you will deserve the Crown of that kingdom. Consider, how the holy Scripture saith: Blessed is the man, jacob. 1. who suffers temptation, for when he shall have been tried, he is to receive the Crown of life, which God promised to them, who love him. If the Crown content you, let not the trial displease you; and there can be no trial without temptation; and no temptation of troubles can be coming towards you, which passes not from the hand of God, who is your father; and who measures out so much thereof, as may be fit, and neither to fall short in respect of your profit, nor to overflow in respect of your weakness.
Fear not to drink with patience, of that, which God drank with love. And God himself saith to us; My son, do not cast thyself into anguish, when thou art corrected by Almighty God. For he corrects him, whom he love's, as the father doth the son, in whom he delights. And elsewhere he saith:6
Heb. 12 Eccl. 38 Do not despise thyself in thy weakness, but pray to God, and he will cure thee. And now, since we are commanded, on the part of God, that whatsoever happen, we must not be dismayed, let us make our recourse to him, upon the confidence, which we have in his word; and let us beg his favour, which he cannot fail to afford.
O sister, and if we could but see, how dear and precious we are in the eyes of God Oh that we could but see, how deeply he holds us lodged in his hart, and how near we are to him, when we may perhaps conceive our selves to be cast furthest of! Blessed be our lord Jesus Christ, for he it is, whom with a full mouth we proclaim to be our hope. Nothing can so fright me, as he can secure me. Let me be changed from devout to slack, and tepid: from going towards the comforts of heaven, to go towards the darkness of the black pit of hell. Let me be environed by my sins, which are past, and by fears, which may be to come: let the devils accuse me, and lay snares for me: let men persecute and fright me, let them threaten me with hell and, lay ten thousand dangers before me, and yet after all this, by sighing, and sobbing for my sins, and by casting mine eyes up to Christ our lord, desiring help at his hands, (that lord, who is so meek, so benign, so full of mercy, and that most firm and faithful lover of mine, even to death) and I cannot be persuaded, to disconfide; especially when I consider, that I was valued at so high a rate, that God himself was given for me.
O Christ, thou haven of security for all them, who being bruised and battered by the tempestuous waves of their own hearts, and fly to thee for succour! O thou fountain of living waters, to those stags, who are embossed, and pinched by those spiritual dogs, which are the devils, and their own sins. Thou art that profound internal rest, the hope, which never failed, the protection of orphans, and the defence of widows. Thou art that firm house of stone, which givest receipt to those porcupines, which are so full of roughness, and sharpness, through their sins, if with groans, and desire of pardon, they fly towards thee. Thou defendest us from the wrath of God, to which we are subject. And although sometimes thou commandest thy Disciples to enter into the sea without thee, that so they may be weaned by little and little from thy sweet conversation; & though, when thou art absent, such tempests of the sea may rise, as to put the soul into hazard of being lost, yet still thou forgettest them not. Thou biddest them depart from thee, and yet even very then, thou goest to pray for them. They think, thou hast laid them aside, and that thou sleepest; and then art thou upon thy knees for them. And when three parts of the night were already past, and when it seemed to thy infinite wisdom, that then thou hadst kept them long enough in pain, through thy absence, and that then they had continued in that tempest long enough, thou descendest from the mountains; and as the true Lord of those unconstant waves, thou walkedst upon them, (for all is firm under thy feet) and thou drewest near thy servants, when they thought thee farthest of from them; and thou utteredst these words of confidence to them:78
It is I; be not afraid.9
O Christ our lord, thou diligent and careful pastor of thy sheep, and how much is that soul in error, who will not confide in thee, and through thee, from the most profound internal part of the hart; if withal he can be content to amend his life, and to serve thee? O that thou wouldst but let men know, how much reason, they have, who come to give themselves to thy service, not to be dismayed, under the conduct of such a Captain; and that there is no accident, which ought to put any servant of thine, into so great affliction and fear, as the news of what thou art aught to give them comfort. If thou, O lord, wert well known, there is no soul, which would not love thee and confide in thee, unless it were strangely wicked.
For this it is, that thou sayest: It is I, therefore do not fear. I am he, who kill, and give life: I cast men down, as low as hell, and I draw them back again; that is, I afflict a man till he thinks, he dies and then again I refresh, I recreate, and I give him life. I cast men into certain discomforts, which seem hell to them: but when they are there, I forget them not, but I fetch them from thence, and they are but therefore mortified, that they may be quickened. I send them not thither, to remain there, but that their entry into that shadow of hell, may be a means to make them escape the substance of that true hell after death, and that they may fly up to heaven. I am he, who can deliver you from all affliction, for I am of infinite power. And I am he, who will deliver you, for I am of infinite goodness; and I am he, who know how to do it, for I am of infinite wisdom. I am your Advocate for I embraced your cause as mine own. I am your surety, for I have made myself subject to all your debts. I am your Lord, who have purchased you with mine own blood; and with no meaning to forget you, but to do you honour, if you will serve me, because you were bought at so high a price. I am he, who have so profoundly loved you, that for the love of you, I have been contented to be transformed into you, and to become passable and mortal. I, who in mine own nature, was very fare from being subject to such misery. I am he, who delivered myself over to innumerable torments of body, and fare greater torments of mind, that you might take hart to endure some for love of me, and to confide, that you shall in fine, be freed from them, since I am he, who undertake it. I am your Father, as I am God, and your elder-brother, as I am man. I am your Christ, & your redemption, and what fear can you then have of your debts, if by penance, and Confession, you demand a general release of them? I am your reconciliation, and of whose wrath can you then be afraid? I am that true-loves-knott of friendship, and how then can you think, that you are fallen out with God? I am your defender: and what opposites can you apprehend? I am your friend, and how then do you fear, that you can want any thing, which I have, unless you will needs depart from me?
My body, and my blood is yours: and why then do you fear hunger? nay, my very hart is yours, and why then do you fear to be forgotten? yea and my divinity is yours, and what doubt can you then have of misery? For accessories unto that Principal, my Angels are yours to defend you. My Saints are yours, to pray for you. My blessed mother is yours, to be the careful and indulgent mother of you all. The earth is yours, that you may serve me upon it. The heaven is yours, for you shall enjoy it, and me in it. The devils, and hell is also yours, for you shall tread it and them under foot, like slaves, who are chained up in that prison. This life is yours, because with it you get another, which shall never end. Your honest entertainments and delights are yours. For you direct them to my glory. Your pains are yours, for you endure them for my love, and for your own true good. Your temptations are yours, because they are occasion of your merit, and of an everlasting Crown in heaven. Your death is yours, because it is to be the immediate step to your eternal life.
And all these things you possess in me; and by my means; For neither did I gain them for myself alone, neither will I enjoy them alone; for when I put myself into your company by taking your flesh upon me, I did it, to make you partakers of all the merit, which I should acquire by my labours, my fasting, eating, sweeting, weeping, and by the enduring of all my torments and death, if the fault be not your own.
Now, you cannot account yourself poor, who possess so great riches, if you do not wittingly throw them away, by your wicked life. Be not dismayed; for I will not forsake you. It is true, that you are no better, than some thin glasses; but I will hold you fast in my hand. Your weakness sets of, my strength the more. From your sins and miseries, I draw the manifestation of my goodness, and mercy. There is nothing, which shall be able to hurt you, if you will love me, and confide in me. Think not of me according to your own opinion, and the judgements, which are made by flesh and blood; but think of me by a strong faith with love; nor by the appearance of exterior signs, but by that hart of mine, which was opened for you upon the Cross, that you might dismiss all doubt, whether you are beloved by me or no, forasmuch as concerns my part; since you see such works of love without, and a hart, which was so wounded by that lance within;
John. 18. and yet more wounded by my love.
How shall I deny myself to them, who seek me, to do me honour; since I went out to that way, where those others sought me to offend me. I offered myself to ropes and chains, which afflicted me; and shall I refuse myself to the hart and arms of Christians, where I desire to repose? I yielded myself to those scourges, and to that hard pillar; and shall I deny myself to that soul, which will be subject to me? I turned not away my face from him, who strooke me; and shall I turn it away from him, who will hold himself happy, that he may behold and adore me. What little confidence is this, that seeing me to be voluntarily torn in pieces by the hand of dogs, for the love of my children, yet those children should be doubtful, whether I love them, or no, though they be confessed to love me?
Consider, o ye sons of men, and tell me, whom I ever despised, if he desired to be well with me? whom have I abandoned, if he called on me? from whom have I fled, if he sought me?
I conversed, and I fed with sinners: yea I called, and I justified them, who were forlorn, and even fowl in sin. Nay, I am importunate to win their hearts, who love me not. I make myself a beggar to all the world, and what cause is there then to suspect me of forgettfullnesse towards my children, when there is so great diligence used both, to love me, and to make expression of that love? And though I may conceal it sometimes, yet do I not leave to love; but even for the very love, I bear to my creatures, I cover it; for whom nothing is so good, as not to know any thing, which concerns themselves, but to remit themselves wholly to me. In that ignorance, doth their knowledge consist; in that suspense, their strength, and in that subjection, their dominion. And it ought to suffice a soul, that it lies in no other hands but mine, which are also hers, since for her they were nailed upon the Cross. Yea, they are more hers, than mine, since they laboured more for the purchase of her good, then of mine own. And to the end, that I may draw her out of all self conceit, and make her follow my direction; it is I, who conduct her into this darkness, that so she may know nothing of herself. But yet still if she put her confidence in me, and depart not from my service, I will deliver her, and I will glorify her; and all this will I perform to her. Be faithful to death, and I will give thee the Crown of life.101112
This saith our Lord to all faithful souls, and this he saith to yours, which I pray God to keep. Amen.
Footnotes
Chapter 4 of 57