Letter 15. To an afflicted woman
He declares, that afflictions come either through the fault of the partis, or else for trial, and how one is to carry himself in tribulation.
THe grace and peace of our lord Jesus, be ever with you, Amen. The true love, wherewith I love you in Jesus Christ, hath caused so great compassion in me towards you, in respect of what you suffer, that it hath moved me to write this letter, with desire, that it may serve you to some purpose. I know not, my good▪ sister, whether I shall put you into any comfort, or rather, whether I shall not help you to weep. Nor do I know, whether or no, I should tell you, that the trouble, which you have, is good, and that you are to carry it with joy; and that I should not grant, that it is ill, as it seems to you, and that as such you are to fly from it. I see, that if many good men endure such accidents, as this, there are also very ill men, who endure the same. And if to some, it be a sign of love, to others it is an effect of the wrath of God. Our lord punishes some by these means, and to others, who deserve no punishment, he sends them as trials; and he presents them with an occasion of merit. And though the thing, which you endure, may proceed from either of these two causes: yet I am not sorry, that you persuade yourself, that it is not so likely to be a proof of your virtues, as the punishment of some light fault, if that fault may well be accounted light, which deserves so heavy a punishment. For if the saints themselves acknowledge, that there is no goodness in themselves, but many faults, and much wickedness; how much more must you do it, who know yourself to be fare from sanctity, and so full of sin?
And now, if you hold it for more probable that these fruits grow from this root, the remedy must be, that you examine well, if you have done any thing, for which you may deserve punishment. And know, that for the most part, it uses to be some little dust of vainglory: and if you see not the true reason of it, esteem your case to be so much the worse, when not withstanding you are so full of faults, you can discern none.
But now, since the blow is come, humble-yourself under the mighty hand of God: as knowing, that you are worthy of greater torment. Beseech him, to have mercy on you, and that he cast you not of from himself. Say: O lord, I have sinned, and any punishment, how sharp soever, is in itself, too light for me: considering the greatness of my sins. If thou be pleased to punish me, here I am, extend the hand, o lord, discharge the blow: Cutt, burn, and kill: only permit not, that I be divided, and driven away from thee. If I have sinned, let not thy punishment be, to let me sinne any more, for the natural punishment of a fault, is pain, and not a second fault.
But now nevertheless, I would not, that by your thinking your faults, to have been the cause of your crosses, you should discomfort yourself, and be so fare dismayed, as to make you fall, and that as by some precipices into despair. I desire, on the one side, that you humble yourself, believing that your sins have deserved them, and on the other side, that you be comforted by remembering, that you are the child of God, and none of them, who are forgotten, since your father hath been careful to correct you as a child, for fear lest else you would have been worse. And believe me in one thing, though I be no Prophet, that if our lord in his mercy, had not humbled you, as he hath done, you would perhaps have fallen into some part of Lucifer's pride, which had been infinitely worse: and therefore hath he kept you so humble, that you neither dare, nor ever so much as can, hold up your head.
Give thankes therefore to our lord for this favour, and be happy in that you have his grace. But already I know, you will say thus to me: If I could be sure, that I were his child, and not his enemy: and that this were the correction of a father, and not the punishment of a judge: If I could persuade myself out right, that I were in his favour, what could I wish for more than that? But I verily believe, that unless it might be hell, there is not so wicked a creature, as I am, to be found: and how then can I possess such a thing as grace? This life of mine, is not a life of the sons of God: but it is a life, or to speak more truly, it is a very death of the damned.
O my good sister, if you know the gift of God, and what kind of people they are, who for the most part are put to suffer such things, as these: you would perhaps rejoice. If I saw, that the enemies only of God, did endure them, infallibly I should be much afflicted: but I find, that his best friends are tempted in this kind: and why then should I not be comforted thereby? job the holy man, job. 7. saw himself one day in so sad a case, that he said: I have despaired. Such things had passed in his hart, that he seemed to be fallen into despair. But to the end, that we may see, that indeed he did not despair, he instantly goes to ask mercy: and he, who asks mercy, despairs not.
David said, as we all know, that God had cast him clean out of his sight, and that he saw himself covered with obscurity, and darkness, and environed even by the sorrows of death, and the danger of hell. And he saith, that such things happened to him, as no man will understand, but he, through whose hart they had passed.1
I will omit the tribulations of S. Paul, which were caused by Satan, and which made him hang down the head; for of these you have heard many other times. In the lives of those holy Fathers, I have read many things, which I should never have believed, if the Author were not a man of much authority. And even, at this day, we hear and see strange things, which arrive to certain devout persons, and servants of our Lord; and he hath drawn them out of these temptations, with great spiritual gain. Whereby we gather: that a man in such cases, must, like Abraham, believe that, which he sees not; and hope, even against hope itself.2
Tell me, my good Sister, have you seen these potter's heat their furnace? Have you seen that smoke which is so thick & black? That kindling of fire, and even the resemblance of hell itself, which passes there? who would believe, but that the pots, which stand there within, would be mouldered even to dust, by the rage of that fire? Or that at least, they would not grow to be as fowl as pitch, by the grossness of the smoke? And yet, when that fury is past, and the fire quenched, and the time come, when they unfurnace the pots, you see, that though they were soft, and made of dirt, they come forth as hard as stone; and they, who formerly were so very brown, show themselves as white as snow; and so neat and dainty otherwise, that they become the table of kings.
We are called by S. Paul, by the name of pots of clay, and certainly with great reason; since we are so soft, and weak in suffering the knocks of affliction. Make account, that you also are some poor little pot, & that they have put you out to bake; For you were so weak, as that you could not well retain, and conserve the liquor of grace, which was infused into you by Almighty God.3
They will bake you, my good Sister, and you must have patience. They have trust you into the furnace of tribulation. Endure now those fires, those foggy flames, and those obscurities, and by confiding in the wisdom and goodness of our good potter, you shall not be turned into ashes, which may be carried away by the wind, nor disfigured by any ill mark, which may be put upon you; but rather you shall become hard, in being able to suffer; that so, though you should fall, you may not break yourself. And you shall be also purged from that disgraceful colour, which before you had; and finally you shall be made fit, and capable to be a vessel of honour, and to be served up to the table of Almighty God. Procure, not to come broken out of the furnace, lest they cast you here, and there, as a thing of nothing. Those pots are only broken, which lose their patience in the furnace of tribulation; but I confide in our Lord, that you will be able to come forth, without any hurt.
Suffer now a little, for quickly the whole business will be at an end. Be not you dismayed, how busy soever the devil be. Let him persecute you as much as he will, but confide you in God. It is a sign, that the devil hath no part in you, since he follows you so hard. For if he had you in his hand, he would not follow you. It is a sign, that you are departed out of his kingdom, since he hath dispatched so many squadrons of armed men after you.
You are passing out of the darkness of Egypt, Exod. 12 & 14. that you may go to the land, which our Lord hath promised you; and now behold, how Pharaoh follows you, with his whole army. You find all ways shut up against you. The red sea is before you, and your enemies are behind you; and you find not any means, whereby to escape. But fear not; have good hope, and you shall see the wonders, which our Lord will work.
Our Lord will fight for you; and you shall but hold your peace. Our Lord will open a way for you, through the midst of the sea. The waves thereof shall serve you for a wall, both on the right hand, and on the left; and you shall pass, without so much as wetting your foot, through the midst of your tribulations, and temptations, whereas your enemies shall be drowned therein.4
Do but conceive, what joy that will be, when (all the people of God, being passed through the dangerous sea of this world) the most Blessed Virgin Marie (who was figured in the person of that other Marry the sister of Moses) shall begin to sing that Canticle of so great triumph;
and when you in company of other Virgins shall answer her.5
And to the end, that you may be yet more comforted, know from me, that you have no cause of any scruple; for your case is rather, that you suffer torment, then that you commit sin. For so that you consent not freely to those temptations, nor delight yourself in those thoughts, which the devil offers; and desire not, for your part, so much as to think thereof, what cause of scruple can you have? And you shall believe me, as a man, who knows your conscience well, that how soever you may think, that you have given consent; it is but fear, which makes you think so; as it happens to them, who are sick of fevers, or be subject to any strong passion. Let this serve to excuse you, for that which is past; but not to discharge you from being diligent in the future. And though some little thing should have stuck to you, and though you had suffered some light hurt, yet so long as you render not, nor yield yourself to be overcome, the very wounds, which have been received by any man at arms in the service of a king, have beauty and glory in his sight.
The benefit, and merit, which you draw out of the victory, is greater than the prejudice, which you suffer in the conflict, and therefore let nothing trouble you. Be not deceived in believing, that those imaginations, or temptations are any things of yours; or wrought by you. Works they are of Lucifer, and ●ordes they are of his speaking, and images of his representing. Behold you all that business as a thing belonging to others, and wherewith you have nothing to do. And carry yourself just so, as you would do, when you should hear a man blaspheme, or speak any other fowl deformed words; for which, though you would be much in pain, in regard of the offence, which thereby is done to Almighty God; yet in fine, it would be a kind of comfort in some respect to you, when you saw, that it was not you, who offended him.
Let it grieve you, that the devil doth both say, and do so like himself: and let it comfort you to consider, that it is not you, but he, and that he will smart for it. S. Paul saith, that he gloried in his afflictions, & tribulations: because the virtue and strength of Christ our Lord, shined more therein.
My good Sister, if indeed you love Christ our Lord; you will rejoice, for that glory, which he gathers from your infirmity. Doth it not seem to you, that God shows his strength in you, since by the weakness of a poor miserable woman, who is indeed but a very child, and a sick creature, and a kind of nothing, he overcomes the strength, and courage of those infernal powers? Will not you be then content to be assaulted, upon condition, that Christ our Lord may be glorified? Yes certainly, I know you will, and that most willingly. Nor can I believe less of that charity, which you pretend to have, nor of that desire, which you carry, that our Lord may be pleased to serve himself of you, whether it be in prosperity, or adversity, in sweet or bitter, by way either of love, or grief, either in peace, or war. Our Lord is pleased now, that you serve him in war, and under the incommodities of heat, and cold, with your weapons by your side, both day and night: being content with broken sleeps, and being subject to surprises, as if you stand upon the top of a pike: yea and (though it will afflict you most) you must content yourself to be fare absent from your king. But after this season, there will come another, and our Lord will command, that you shall serve him in his banketting-house, where you shall enjoy as much, as you can desire. In the mean time, you shall joy in this, that you are doing him service. And I beseech him to strengthen your soul, that so it may be able to fight the battles of our Lord, and to make you a conqueror therein, that so you may deserve that Crown of glory, which he hath promised to such, as overcome, Amen.
Footnotes
Chapter 5 of 57