Letter 78. To a lady

He comforts her in her afflictions, and animates her to bear them for the love of Christ our lord, who was so afflicted for her.

MAdam I have understood, that you are sick, and I am not sorry for it. For if it come to you through any excess of penance, the punishment is well employed, and if you be sick upon no other reason but only because our lord sends it to you, let us bid it welcome in a good hour, as being a part of his Cross. And though in some respect, your pain puts me to pain, as our lord knows, yet on the other side, I am glad of it, because I cleary discern the profits which will be made upon this occasion, by one whom I so much desire to see improved. They are not comforts which I wish to my children, but they are corrections; the time of comfort comes afterward. For the present, take not your eyes from of the Cross, nor your heart from him who placed you on it. Give not over till you find that sufferance is of a sweet taste, for that is the true touch of love. Take no compassion upon yourself, for there are both in heaven and earth, who have compassion on you, from their very hearts, and that which is laid on you was very well considered of before; and it passed through the hands of one; who love's you with most perfect love.

Let not your faith grow weak in these necessities, and dangers, nor your love by the feeling of these afflictions: when the fire is great, the wind doth not only not quench it, but inflame it. And so when a soul love's God but in jest, any little blast of air puts it out, as it would do a candle. But true love grows up in affliction, for it applies more strength wherewith to endure, the more weight, it sees coming towards it. And because that love is of God, it conquers affliction: and no water could serve to quench that fire, which comes down from heaven.

Our lord called you, that you might love him, and this love is no such thing as must give you reason to regale yourself. But you must abhor yourself for the love of Christ our lord, and deny yourself, to confess him: and be cruel to yourself, that you may be sweet and acceptable to his divine Majesty. If you love and desire to enjoy yourself, you must resolve to lose yourself. If you desire to see the face of God, you must pass towards him through the pikes. If you care to lodge him in your hart, cast yourself away, with all other creatures upon him. Our lord will have you all alone, and all afflicted, not for any ill will he bears you, but because since his own natural son, was so afflicted, he likes not to see his adopted sons apparelled with any other livery then that. There is nothing so beautiful in his sight, as to see the image of his only begotten son in us. And as there is nothing, upon which a soul can so gladly look, as upon our lord Jesus being tormented for love of us upon the Cross, and the more afflicted and deformed we see him there, the more beautiful he seems to us, so the more we suffer for God, the more beautiful we shall seem to him.

Nor is it much, that a soul which desires to seem handsome in the sight of God, should adorn itself with such curious cleansing waters, as may enamour his divine Majesty by his seeing her, since the women of the world do many things which put them to no small trouble, and charge, so that they may content the sons of men. Madam we must cast our skins, before we shall be pleasing to Almighty God. Gould is purified by fire, and the terrestrial part being consumed, it comes resplendent from the Crucible.

Let us be ashamed of being so weak, in a business which is so great, as to import the pleasing of Almighty God: and if we understood this point well indeed, we should get heart even to shed our blood for him, that so we might appear fairer in his sight. As a certain holy Eremite, considering this very thing, and seeing a woman of the world go so gallant, and so well adorned, he began to weep and say, Pardon me, O lord, pardon me I beseech thee: for the curious dressing, which this woman, bestows upon herself in this one day, to please the eyes of the world, overstrips all the pains which I have taken many years for the pleasing of thine.

So that, my good lady, this enterprise of love is no matter of words, but of sorrow, of bitter torments, of the dishonour of the world, of being abandoned by the creatures thereof, & sometimes even of the seeming absence from the protection of the Creator. And notwithstanding all this a man must carry a good countenance, and not be subject to complaints, or dejection of heart: but he must resemble that Martyr, whose bowels they drew out of his body, and whose flesh they tore from his bones, with iron combs: and yet there sounded no word out of his mouth but the name of Jesus, nor was there any thing in his hart, but Blessed be God, together with a purpose to endure yet more, if God should dispose himself to send it.

To suffer for Christ our lord, is great glory, and God imparts not that, but to such a one, as whom he love's much. A great mercy it is to give a guilty person fillips, and to release those scourges, which were his dew, and if that wherein we stand obliged to the justice of God, may be satisfied by what we can suffer here, in the name of God let us fall to work, and let us pay whatsoever his divine Majesty will impose, so that being gone from hence, we may instantly by behold the face of God. Let us labour in this banishment of ours; for instantly upon the end thereof, we shall be landed in our own country. S. Augustine saith that he wrongs a Martyr who prays for him when he is dead for Martyrdom makes a soul fly straight up to heaven. Let us therefore labour to be Martyrs by our patience in affliction, for though our persecution be not so grievous as theirs was for the time, yet it lasts longer. And we should indeed desire, that this life might not be too recreative, but a mere Martyrdom. For such was the life of our Lord, and such doth he desire that ours should be.

There have been many martyrs for the faith of Christ our Lord, but in fine many are gone to heaven, who were not so. But we all must be the Martyrs of love, if we mean to go thither. This love must torment us, and put us to pain, both because ourselves offend God, as also because others do it. This love must deprive us of the comforts of this life, and must load our shoulders with a Cross. This love must make us first embrace affliction, and then pass over it, in the flame which was kindled by our love of God. This makes us endure dishonours without feeling them as wine doth a drunkard. This love is in this, like all other love, that whosoever possesses it seeks not himself but his beloved, who in our case, is God alone and his holy will. But this love which now is so cruel, how full of compassion will it be afterwards, to him who hath bowed down the head to receive. Martyrdom at the hand thereof?

A man cannot easily feel the force of love, wherewith it torments here, nor that wherewith it comforts afterwards. Let us believe it, since God hath said, it; and let us walk on in the faith, which we have in his words; for we have yet a long way to make. Choose which you had rather have, either long afflictions, or else very great ones, for no man can scape suffering much, either in one fashion or another. Be not sorry for this, for if God give you much affliction, it is because your many sins deserve it; and so you are to make your payment here, and I beseech our Lord that you may do so. For if I should dye, before you want to Purgatory, perhaps you might want a friend who would carry so much compassion to your soul as my ; and would take so much care to free it, and if you die first, I shall have pain enough, in thinking of you.

Excuse me, for it is not fit, that either you or I, should have an eye to our own ease; but that although we should know, that after this life we must suffer pain, yet here we must also take courage to suffer afflictions for love, & love is content with nothing, but love. Christ our lord suffered for our love. Christ our lord carried the Cross, and let us help him to carry it on. Christ our lord is dishonoured, and I renounce honour. Christ our lord suffered torments, and therefore they shall be welcome to me. He was subject to many necessities, and I submit myself to the same. For me he made himself a stranger, and I desire not to be the owner of any single thing, wherein my heart may rest. He died for me, and let my life be a continual death, for the love of him.

Let me live yet now not me, but let Christ our lord live in me, and that Christ, who was crucified, exhausted, abandoned by all the world, and received alone by Almighty God.¹

This Christ I love; upon the Cross will I seek him, and from thence have I no desire to find him. Let him dispose of me, how he will, for my part I will suffer affliction for him. Let him choose whether he will give me any reward or Noah; for the very suffering itself, is an abundant reward. And if he would grant me a great suit, I would desire no other, then to have afflictions: for thereby I may know that I love him, and that he also love's me, since he lays me upon the Cross, where himself lay. For though I have no aim at mine own profit, yet I know full well that if I continue upon the Cross, he will carry me to his Crown. To him be glory, through the eternity of all eternityes. Amen.

Footnotes

1. Gal. 2. ↩