Of Another Thing That Charity Requires, and Which Will Help Much to Preserve It, Which Is to Have and Show a Great Esteem for Our Brothers and Always Speak Well of Them

CHARITY and love of one another must not be only interior, in the heart, but must show itself also in works, according to that text of Scripture: Whoever seeth his brother in need, and nevertheless closeth his heart to shut him out, how shall we say that the charity of God is in him? (I John iii. 17). When we are in heaven, as we shall have no wants, says St. Augustine, these works will not be necessary for the preservation of charity. Fire there, being in its own sphere, has no need of fuel and wood to keep it in; but here below without them it quickly dies out; so also here in this miserable life charity will readily die out in the absence of works to maintain and preserve it. St. Basil here applies to this purpose what the Apostle and Evangelist St. John says in his first canonical epistle: In this we know the great love that God has borne us, in that he has given his life for us; and so ought we to give our life for our brethren (I John iii. 16), if it be necessary. St. Basil very well infers from thence: “If the love that Christ asks us to bear to our brethren must go so far as to give our life for them, with much more reason should it be extended to other things which commonly offer and are of less difficulty than giving our life for them.” | One of the principal things which this union and charity requires, and a thing that will help much to preserve it and carry it on further, is to have a high esteem of our brethren. Rather, this is the foundation on which this whole structure of charity is founded and planted. It is not a love of fancy, which goes blindly, nor a love of mere tenderness and sentiment, arising from this heart of flesh which we carry, but a love of reasons, a spiritual love of the higher part of the soul, which regards higher and eternal reasons. It is that love which we call appreciative, which springs from the love that we bear to God, Whom we set above all things, and leads us to value our neighbor as a thing belonging to God. From the esteem and good opinion that we have of our brethren it comes to pass that we love them and honor them and reverence them, and do all other offices and practices of charity. So far as this esteem goes, so far also will go our love and all that follows upon love. So says St. Paul, writing to the Philippians: Let us at heart esteem all as if they were our betters (Phil. ii. 3) : that is the root and foundation of all this business. And writing to the Romans he says: Let us vie with one another for the first turn in honoring one another (Rom. x. 12). The glorious Chrysostom observes that he did not say that we should honor one another, but that we should get the start of one another in this office. It is not my policy to wait until the other man shows courtesy to me and takes notice of me first; everyone should aim at getting the start of his neighbor and winning the first turn. This is what our holy Father commends to us in his Rule: “In all things endeavoring and desiring to yield the better share to others.” This is winning the first turn in honoring one another.

To come now more to details, one of the things by which we ought to endeavor to show a high opinion of our brethren is by always speaking of them well and respectfully, and in words that witness the appreciation and regard we have of them. Of our blessed Father Ignatius we read that everyone was convinced that he had a good opinion of him and loved him as a father. The result was that all also had for him much love and respect. There is nothing that so kindles charity and preserves it as the knowledge that our brother loves us and wishes us well and feels and speaks well of us. How many good effects spring therefrom! And so says Seneca there: “If you wish to be loved, love.” There is no more efficacious means to be loved, since love cannot repay but by other love.

St. Chrysostom notes this well on those words of Christ: What you wish other men to do to you, do it you to them (Matt. vii. 12). The saint says: “Would you receive benefits? Do benefits to others. Would you obtain mercy? Show it to your neighbor. Would you be praised? Praise others. Would you be loved? Love. Would you that men should yield you the preference and the better thing and the place of greater honor? Be you the first to yield it, and contrive to give it to others”—Vis beneficia capere? Confer beneficium alteri. Vis misericordiam consequi? Miserere proximi. Vis laudari? Laudaalium. Vis amari? Ama. Vis partibus primis potiri? Cede illas prius alteri.

Besides, this speaking well of others is a thing that gives great edification, and the reason why it edifies is because it is a sign of the presence of great love and great union. And, contrariwise, any little word which directly or indirectly may throw another into the shade and take the shine out of him—the least breath of such a thing felt amongst us would be matter of great disedification, since people would at once gather that there was there some rivalry and envy; and consequently anything redolent of this should be far from us. Suppose your brother has his defects; it is hard if he has not some good point about him. Take hold of this and leave that. Imitate the bee, which lights upon flowers only, not minding the thorns that surround them, and follow not the example of the beetle, which goes straight for the dunghill.