Of the Good Grace and Good Words with Which an Office of Charity Should Be Exercised

THE blessed St. Basil, in a sermon exhorting to monastic life, gives an admonition and instruction very good for those who are occupied in outward offices of charity, how they should behave in exercising them. When you have, he says, to do these offices, you must not be content with the mere bodily exertion, but you must take care to do what you do with a good grace and show mildness and gentleness in your words, that the others may understand that you do this out of charity, and so your service may be pleasing to them. And the same says Ecclesiasticus: Son, in thy good deeds give no motive of complaint, nor in thy gifts cause sadness by evil words. Shall not a fall of dew temper heat? So too is the word better than the gift. Seest thou not that a good word is worth more than the thing given? (Ecclus. xviii. 15). This is the salt which St. Paul says must give a relish to all that you do. The gracious air with which you serve and the kind terms in which you answer are worth more than all that you do. And, contrariwise, know that however much you labor and fatigue yourself, if you do not do it with a good mien, using kind words and answers, it will not be valued or go for anything, but will seem all lost. Let your words and answers, says the Apostle, always be seasoned with the salt of graciousness and gentleness (Col. iv. 6), with such phrases as ‘Delighted,” “Most willingly.” Even if you are busy and have a great. deal to do and cannot do what you are asked, do not on that account return your brother a dry and disagreeable answer; even then you must see that your answer be so good that the other may go away as contented and happy as if you had done the thing, in view of your kindness. Say such things as this: “Certainly I should be much pleased to do it if I could, but just now I can’t. Will it do afterwards?” And if the obstacle is that you have not leave, say: “I will go and ask leave for it.’ Make up in good words for what you cannot do in deed; thus your good will is understood. This is also what Solomon says: A gracious tongue aboundeth in a good man (Ecclus. vi. 5). Words spoken with graciousness and breathing tenderness and love must always abound in a good and virtuous man, that being a great means to the preservation of charity and mutual union.

St. Bonaventure says that we ought to be ashamed to utter a harsh and disagreeable word that could possibly offend or displease our neighbor, even though it be spoken offhand and on the spur of the moment, and though the word in itself be very slight. And if at any time it shall happen that we are off our guard in this particular, we should be careful to confound and humble ourselves and offer satisfaction to our brother by begging his pardon.

It is related of St. Dositheus that when he was infirmarian he took particular care not to run foul of anyone, but to speak to all very peacefully and charitably. Still it did happen sometimes that, having to deal with so many persons—now with the cook, as to whether that pot should be put in this place; at other times with the dispenser, because he did not give him the better portion for the sick, or because he did not give it him at once; at other times with the refectorian, because he took away some things from the refectory—he raised his voice, and spoke some rough and offensive word; and when this happened, he was so ashamed of himself that he went to his cell and, prostrate on the ground, had his fill of weeping, until St. Dorotheus, his master, went there, who understood the situation. “What’s this, Dositheus? What have you been doing?” He at once told his fault with many tears: ‘Father, I have spoken disdainfully to my brother.’’ St. Dorotheus scolded him well. “Is this humility? Are you still alive?” After scolding him, he said: “Rise now, God has forgiven you; let us start afresh.” And the story goes that he got up as cheerfully as if he had heard his pardon from the mouth of God, and made a new resolution never to speak to anyone disagreeably and harshly.

For the common profit of those who do services of charity as also of those who receive them, St. Basil gives two short and solid pieces of advice. How, he asks, shall we ON UNION AND FRATERNAL CHARITY Dao render well this service of charity to our brothers? And he answers: If we reckon that in serving our brother we are serving Christ, Who said: Verily I say to you, that what ye have done to the least of my brethren, ye have done it to me (Matt. xxv. 40). Do things as one serving God and not men, and in that way you will do them well, in good style and with a good grace. He goes on to ask: And how am I to receive the service that my brother does me? He answers: As when the master serves his servant—velut servus ab hero; and as St. Peter behaved when the Lord offered to wash his feet: Lord, dost thou wash my feet? (John xiii. 6). Thus there is preserved on the one hand humility in both parties concerned, inasmuch as the one will not disdain nor be weary of the service he renders to his brother, regarding him as a son of God and brother of Christ and reckoning that in serving him he serves Christ Himself; and the other will not flatter himself upon seeing all people at his service, but rather will be confounded and humble himself more at that, considering that it is not done for him but for God. And on the other hand mutual charity will be preserved and much augmented for the same reason.