Of the Second Manner of Friendships and Associations That Are Not Good

THERE is a second manner of particular friendship, different from the first inasmuch as it has a different end, but not less harmful to the community and to union and fraternal charity, nay, rather more: it is when one desiring advancement and influence and reputation unites and attaches himself to those whom he thinks likely to forward him thereto. Cassian says that severe bodily ailments develop little by little, and spiritual ailments and great evils of soul alike develop little by little. Let us, then, describe the gradual development of this particular malady, and along with it we will tell the ordinary way in which a religious student comes to deteriorate and go to ruin.

Such a one comes out of the noviceship having made good progress there by the grace of God, and entertaining a high esteem of spiritual things and much affection for them, as it is reasonable he should come out. He goes to the colleges, and there in the ardor of his studies he begins to fall off in his spiritual exercises and either leaves them out in part or does them by routine or for form’s sake, without drawing fruit from them, which comes to the same thing. He goes on further, and as now on the one hand his spiritual aims are failing him because he does not do his spiritual duties as he ought, and on the other knowledge puffs him up (I Cor. viii. 1) and makes him vain, he comes little by little to set great store by genius and talents and lose his esteem of virtue and humility. This is the gate whereby ordinarily all the undoing and loss of students enters and commences, and thus much heed should be taken to prevent it. Steadily there decreases in them the appreciation and esteem of the quality of virtue, humility, mortification, and all that regards their advancement in spiritual things; while their admiration and esteem of the quality of learning and ability steadily increases because they fancy that thereby they are destined to thrive and come out strong men, regarded and esteemed. Thus they begin to fix their gaze upon this, and desire to be taken for men of fine genius and talent, and to that end they desire to come out well in disputations and the maintaining of theses; they solicit with much eagerness whatever may lead to that and seek occasions to shine and show off and perchance to cast others into the shade and undo them, that they may not get the start of them. Going on further, they begin to aim at ingratiating themselves with some master and grave Father and with all who they think can help and support them with superiors, and they strike up a friendship with them, all in order to mount up and win consideration and be regarded and esteemed, and that these authorities may be favorable to them in their progress.

This is one of the most harmful and pernicious things that can be found in religion and most contrary to union; for what greater evil can enter into religion than the entering in of ambition and self-seeking? And what greater pestilence could enter in here than to have language of this sort coming in amongst us, that now it is necessary for a man to look to himself and get others to back him; and that if he does not, he will be forgotten and thrust into a corner and no account made of him; and that that is how things go nowadays even here? God deliver us from such evil language, and much more from there being anyone found to begin to instill this poison into the heart now of one guileless man, now of another, who was ever so far removed from it, and open his eyes to his perdition. Very different from this is the truth which the Society professes. Our Father in the Tenth Part of his Constitutions says: “Let all who are of the Society give themselves to solid and perfect virtues and to spiritual things, and make more account of them than of learning and other natural and human gifts.” This is what the Society esteems and values; therefore let not the old serpent with his cunning and venom deceive you, persuading you that by breaking the commandments of your elders and eating of the forbidden fruit, you shall become as gods (Gen. iii. 5). Let him not make you believe that there you will grow and be honored and esteemed, for he lies, liar as he is, the fact being that you will come in for nothing but loss of character; whereas if you go by the other way of virtue, making always greater account of spiritual things and of what makes for your spiritual progress, in that way you will thrive and the Lord will lift you up both in the one and in the other. He will give you the virtue that you desire, and honor and esteem also; you will be regarded and esteemed before God and before men.

We have in confirmation of this a history very much to the purpose in the Third Book of Kings. Holy Scripture tells how God bade Solomon to ask whatever he would and He would give it to him. Solomon set his eyes on wisdom and asked it of God, and Scripture says: God was so pleased that Solomon had set his eyes on wisdom that he said to him: Since thou hast asked me for this, and not for long life, nor riches, nor victories and vengeance on thine enemies, I give thee wisdom, and that in such sort that thou shalt be called the Wise, eminently so, since there hath not been before thee, nor shall be after thee, anyone the like (III Kings iii. 10-12). And further, and this is what makes to our purpose, so greatly was God pleased with what Solomon had so happily resolved upon choosing and asking, that, not content with giving him the wisdom that he asked for and which was given him so abundantly, as has been said, He gave him also what he had not asked for; God gave him both the one and the other. Since thou hast asked so fitly, I will give thee also what thou hast not asked for, riches and honor, and that in such abundance as never had any other King anything like it (III Kings iii. 13). So also will God deal with you if you do the right thing in choosing and setting before your eyes true wisdom, which consists in true and solid virtues. He will give you the virtue that you desire, on which you set your eyes, because that is very pleasing to God; and He will give you also the honor and esteem on which you did not set your eyes; God will give you both the one and the other. And so we see by experience that these are they who are regarded and esteemed both before God and before men. For we have God’s word for it, that he who humbleth himself shall be exalted (Luke xiv. 11); and the more you humble yourself and give yourself to virtue, the more you shall be exalted and esteemed; and the more you fly from honor and esteem, the more it will persist in following you, as the shadow follows him who flies from it. But as for those other ambitious people who go like chamelons swallowing air to be swollen out and seem great, the more will honor fly from them; for where they think to mount up, they go down; and where they think to be regarded and esteemed, they lose caste. In fact they come to be taken for proud people, restless, and disturbers of religion; and so there is nothing needed but to cut them off from it as unsound and rotten members, that they may not infect others.

But to come back to our point I say that here in religion, as we ought to be very far from ambitions and pretensions, so also we ought to be far from forming those friendships which are directed thereto. We ought to be tied to nobody, nor should it be the word here: J am of Paul, I of Apollo, I of Cephas (I Cor. i. 12). Iam not of this man or of that, but of my superior; with him I aim at being united and with no one else in particular. We have no need in the Society of patrons or supporters, nor of standing upon compliments, nor of forming a connection with anyone, for we are not office-hunters, nor have we come here on the hunt for anything but our salvation. Be you a good religious and attend in earnest to the business on which you have come into religion, and you will have no need of anyone but God. This is he who has peace and comfort in religion: the others will never have it, as they themselves experience and confess. A religious should be ashamed to be taken for one who goes about looking for patrons, gaining good wills, and flattering perhaps with others that they may support him and shelter him, for this argues great imperfection and great weakness. The house that needs props is weak; it is in the way of falling: the tree that must be supported by stays is tender, not strong, not well rooted. So you, if you have to go about looking for stays and props, are tender, ill rooted in virtue and even in religion. This is the warning that our Father General Aquaviva gives particularly to students, and says that they must be in no way allowed to attach themselves to older Fathers nor have them for patrons; and he warns those same Fathers to beware of such patronage, and much more to beware of trying to get the young ones to make up to them and want to have them for a refuge, and again of making offers to young men to help them in all their needs, and still more of any senior’s taking it for an honor and a badge of authority to have young men for clients and resenting their not applying to him, taking such reserve on their part for a proof that they undervalue him and make little account of him, and perhaps going so far as to tell some young man that he is very stiff and shows too much gravity. This is not showing too much gravity, but showing oneself a good religious, for this is religious life and the other thing is not, but a thing smacking much of the world and very worldly. And if anyone complains of you on that account, he will be complaining of your being virtuous, and like a good religious keeping so far apart from this familiarity, so redolent of the world and so contrary to religion. May the Lord grant that no other complaint may ever be made of us!