Letter, Sala Balust no. 55. To a Lady

He takes all fear from her, and animates her to persever in the way of virtue, which she had begun; and adnises her to the service of her neighbours, as a good means, whereby she might obtain the gift of Contemplation.

IF you knew how great joy I have felt in my soul, by your letters, I believe you would write often to me, how careful soever the devil might be, to discourage you. And if you knew how great favour you do me, in letting me see, that you are cofident of my truth to you, and if withal you would be pleased to make trial of me, I believe you would cast away a great number of those imaginations, which the devil brings to you, about the making you think, that you are troublesome to me. I, for my part, have not taken upon me so in jest, that charge of you, which our lord hath put into my hands, as that any difficulty could make me weary of it, how great soever it might be; and how much less can I be weary, when the thing itself is not painful to me, but delightful. I beseech you, for the love of our lord, that you will ask him, whether I love you or Noah. For I hope for so much favour at his hands, as that he will tell you I do, forasmuch as he is a friend of truth, and he knows that the thing, indeed, is so. Do you not already understád, that this is but a trick of the devil, understád, that this is but a trick of the devil, whereby he would pull down weak persons? Do you not know, how much hurt this conceit doth to some of your neighbours, when they believe it? you know well enough, how to chide them, who will not conceive, that they are beloved by their friends, and how to take the part of such as are absent. But now why take you not that counsel for your self, which you give to others? why will you needs tyre me out, with your incredulity, as others do? For the love of him, who was crucified for us, let not things pass in this manner; but be confident that our lord love's you, and imparts true love to me, for the doing of all that, which is necessary for you; & that this must last till you shall have gained the crown, to which our lord hath called you: which is not to be any little one, nor do I find in myself, any little joy, that I am helping you to gain the same.

You must also forbear, both to say, and think, that the state wherein you are, is a state of condemnation. For that is a mere temptation of the devil, who desires nothing more, then that you may leave your manner of life, that so, he may carry you away with him. And if it seem to you, that you have not that recollection, which you ought, for my part I am glad that you desire it, and sigh for it. But yet you must not do it so, as withal to conceive, that you are not pleasing to God, in doing what you do. Many times men serve God more, whilst they have no recollectió, (so that yet withal, they procure it), then with having it. For sometimes, yea and many times, the pleasure of God is that, to the end we may use Charity to his children, we shall forsake the sweetness of attending to himself alone. And the Patriarch jacob was enamoured of Rachel, who was fair, & he served seven years, that they might give her to him, for his wife; and at the end thereof, they gave him Lia, the sister of Rachel, against his liking. And when he complained thereof, they told him, that it was not the fashion of that country, to bestow their youngest daughters first, as he desired. But they wished him to marry this other at that time, and that if indeed he loved the younger as much as he said, he should labour seven years more for that, and then they would also give her to him, and this he did, and so he obtained her.¹

He who hath a mind to give himself, as it were, in marriage to the beautiful life of recollection and devout prayer, desires that which is very good. But he must bestow himself in marriage, to the life of action, and labour. And first he must employ himself upon the good of his neighbours, and afterwards by perseverance, he shall obtain the other, when our Lord shall find it fit for him. But in the mean time he is contented with us, if we will sigh for this, and if we will attend to that. Neither is he in the right, who is glad of business, and employments; neither yet is that other in the right, whoe when he is in the midst thereof, goes still complaining. But he alone complyes with that which God commands, who bestows his hands, and works upon the service of his neighbours; and his desires upon the service of our Lord, with more desires upon the service of our Lord, with more recollection. Yet still I say, not so farr●, as that this desire must make him complain, or be disgusted. But he must have patience in his business; and in his desire and love, he must have quietness; his hands in one of them, and his eyes, upon the other. He obeys in the one, and he sues for the other. And as I have said else where, God serves himself of some, in the first life of labour, rather than in the second life of repose, because we use to disguise that desire, which indeed we have to be at liberty, and to follow our own will, & not to be put to endure the impertinences, and vexations of others. under the colour of giving ourselves to Contemplation.

Our Lord therefore, who knows so much better, than ourselves, what is good for us, and sees that the desires of our hart some times are such; as I have said, hath care to conduct our life, according to that which he judges to import us most. And so, his servants must yield obedience to him and accept of that, with thanksgiving, which he imparts. And if any man confess, that the employment which he hath, is good, but that he, for his part, is weak, and that he serves not God therein so well as he ought, or as he would; I acknowledge that he saith true; and I desire, that he will believe and say so still. For woe be to that soul, which presumes to think, that he may contest with God, any other way, then by begging mercy.

Know you, yourself, for wicked, and God will wrapp you up warm in the mantie of his goodness, and mercic. And every day, he will grow, in doing you greater favours. And conceive, that (such as you are even now,) our lord vouchsafes to like, and love you, but see that you must continue in the war without turning your back to his service, and then youst must esteem that both he and I are contented with you. And since both your father who is in heaven, and your spiritual father who is on earth, are contented, with you; you must also be contented with yourself. Not so, as that you may give over, to proceed, and profit in the service of our lord, but that you may not be discouraged, or dismayed, in the manner of life which now you hold. And dye you also confidently believe, that our Lord is served, by your abode where you are; and this I declare to you, in his name; and that he will comfort you much, and vouchsafe to do you very great favours. And remember this word well. Be faithful to God, and turn not your back towards him. Believe not the counsel of the devil, nor yet of flesh and blood. Be bold to trust, and to offer yourself to dye for God; rather then to forbear what you have begun. For you shall quickly see, how well God deals with them, who stand fast in fight for his honour. The holy ghost be your conserver, and comforter. Amen.

Footnotes

1. Gen. 29 ↩