Letter, Sala Balust no. 106. To a Lady
He comforts her in the death of her husband, and animates her to carry her afflictions with patience.
I Have deferred to write to you, out of a belief, that my letter would be of little power, towards the mitigating of that great sorrow, to which they said, you were grown subject. And I thought I should take a better course to be uttering myself to our Lord who is the Lord of all comfort, and to be recommending you to him, then to be speaking to you, by my letters. But yet because they have been demanded with so great instance, which serves to assure me, how much they are desired, and because our lord hath power enough to do what he lists by the means even of dead letters, I would not fail to do as I was commanded, and that to which I was obliged, beseeching our lord that by means thereof he will be pleased to breed that comfort in your hart which I desire.
Our Lord hath so disposed, as to have you try what taste these afflictions have, which are gathered in this vale of tears, and they not of the gentler but ruder sort. Let his name be blessed, his judgements adored, and his will obeyed, since that which the creature owes to his Creator, is all reverence and subjection, not only in those things which are delightful, but in those others also, which are most painful. Now to make try all of this obedience, God is wont to teach us, in that which lies next our hearts. To the end that we may understand, that for so great a lord, we must be content both to do, and suffer great things.
Abraham carried excessive love to his son Isaac, and God was pleased to try him in that. A great love it was which job carried to his seven sons, and yet God took them all away, in one day. And after this manner, is he wont to proceed with such as he love's. For by this means both they are made capable, of testifying their love to him, and by the same he takes occasion, to do them great favours. I know well, that flesh and blood have no understanding of this language, and that they only employ themselves, upon feeling the grief and loss, which they sustain, without caring for other things. But if God be in us, we must restrain our sense, and make it obedient to reason, and to the will of our Lord. And though it trouble us much, yet must we not let this flesh of ours overcome, but remembering the anguish of our Lord, which made him sweat drops of blood, and say. Father, not my will, but thy will be done, we are to say the same, if we mean to be known for his disciples; since he will know none for his vassals on earth, nor for his companion in heaven, but the man who carries the cross upon his back, and who will follow him as the sheep his shepherd, though it should cost him his life.123
Tell me of what we can justly complain in our afflictions, since by them our sins grow to be discharged, and ourselves made to ressemble the son of God? For what a bold irreverence should it be, that slaves would not pass, by that law, by which their Lord did pass, and that adopted sons should not be content to endure that, which the natural son endured; who was more beloved by God the Father, than his first begotten son? and whoe was more loaden with variety of pains than he?
He was the man of grief, and be who knew by experience, what belonged to affliction. And if you be able to count the drops of the sea, you may also perhaps count his sorrows. Will it then seem reason to you, that the son of God, being so in anguish, and all wounded with grief, even to the death, we should pass all our lives, without drinking once of vinegar and gall?4
What is become of that shame, which we ought to have, if here we should let him suffer alone, and yet pretend to reign with him in heaven?5
Let all creatures be at last unbeguiled and know, that if the king of heaven did enter into his kingdom by tribulations, we also must enter in by the same way. There is no other way but Jesus Christ and he crucified; & whoesoever seeks any other, will not find it, and whosoever walks by any other, will lose himself, and he will see, that though it may be a kind of unsavoury thing, to suffer in this life, it is worse to suffer in the next. O blindness of the sons of Adam, who take no care of the future, so that the present may pass to their contentment. Not valuing that which brings in true profit; but that which gives us gust. Not looking towards reason, but passion. And therefore do they lament when they ought to think themselves happy, and they rejoice when they have more cause to mourn. What is all this present prosperity, but a smoke, which by little and little will be dispersed, in such sort as that we shall see nothing of it? And what are all the years of our life, but a short sleep, out of which when we awake, we find ourselves but to have been abused. And upon any little trouble, which arrives, we are drawn to forget our former pleasures; yea and it gives us, a kind of pain to have enjoyed them.
If then, we find so great in constancy in this why do we not seek that other? And since we see every day, that this is slipping out of our hands; why do we not seek that which lasts indeed, and will make our felicity eternal? If hitherto we have been in blindness, let us now at length open our eyes. And if prosperity did once tell us, that there was somewhat here, which might content us, let now the gall of tribulation be applied to our eyes and give us light to see, that, in this world, we are truly miserable, and that we are not in our own Country, but in a very painful banishment; and so raising first our hearts to heaven, let our conversation be also there.
This is the end why our Lord hath punished you, that you may make more, and more account of him, the more you see yourself, in want, otherwise do not conceive that God takes pleasure in your pain, but because he is merciful he hath a tender feeling of your tears. Only he will put this touch of wormwood into your cup, that so having discharged your hart, of all humane comfort, you may have your leaning place upon him alone. God hath taken one comfort from you, but it is to give you another, for so he is wont to do. He hath made you a widow, but it is that he may make himself your Father, since, Father of the forsaken, is his name. Many afflictions will not fail to offer themselves to you, in this widowhood; and in many things you will find the want of him, who was wont to remedy you in them. And in many of your friends, you shall find little help, and little fidelity and less gratitude; but in all these things, God will have you make recourse to him, and confer with him, about the troubles you shall be in, and that, as with a true Father, you ease your hart, with him. And if with that hart you call upon him, and trust yourself in his hands infallibly you shall meet with a sure refuge, in all your difficulties, and a perfect guide in all your ways. And in any times without your knowing by whose means, or how it comes to pass, you shall find your business done, to your hand, much better than you could have imagined; and you shall then understand by experience, how great a friend God is, to the afflicted; and how truly he dwells with them, and makes himself a solicitor of their causes.6
And if at any time, he do not give you that, which you desire; it will be to give you that which shall be fit. For so doth this celestial physician proceed, with them, who go to him for their recovery; and who have a greater desire, to be cured, then that their taste be pleased. Depart not you, from his hands, and cure, though it should put you to much pain. Desire him not to do what you will, but what he will. Let your weapons, be your prayers, and your tears, and they, not lost tears, for that which our Lord hath taken from you, but living tears, for that our Lord may be pleased to pardon him and to save you.
For what doth that superfluous pain serve which they tell me you give yourself, but only, for the adding of sin, to pain. But now you know, that as we have no liberty to laugh, idly or vainly, so neither have we any to weep superfluously. But both in the one, and in the other, we must be obedient to the holy will of our Lord. Why do you complain? why, I say, do you complain? Either you are a sinner, and then you are to be cleansed by this affliction; or else you are a just person, and then you must be tried, that you may be crowned. whether it be the one or the other, you must give thanks to our lord, with your whole hart, and resolve to love the end and reason of this correction, though the thing itself be unpleasing. This we are taught by holy Scripture, which relates how Hester kissed the end of Assuerus rod.7
Let not your time pass away, in glutting your eyes with tears; but for the love of our Lord, apply yourself to send your hart up to him, and to prepare yourself for that passage, whereby you see others march before. It is enough, Lady, it is enough, that you have already made so large a feast to flesh and blood. Dry your eyes at last, and let not that time pass in bewailing death, which was granted you for the gaining of life.
Call to mind, that our Lord driven them out of the house, who lamented the death of a young maid; and he said that she was not dead, but that she slept. For indeed amongst Christians, to dye is but to fall a sleep, till that day come, when we shall awake again, to take our bodies, and so to reign with Christ our Lord, both in body, and soul. And confider, that he for whom you weep, is not dead but sleeps; and that, in a sleep of peace, since he both lived end died a good Christian.
Why should it trouble you so much, that our lord would draw the man whom you loved, out of this place, which is so miserable, and would carry him into the way of salvation? And if he have left some troubles to you, take them up with a good will, so that he may go on to his repose. And if his absence afflict you much, yet be comforted with this, that shortly you shall see him again; since our days in this life are so very few, and one of us hath so little advantage over the other, in dying a little sooner, or later. You shall do also well to conceive, that our Lord took him away, because he was well prepared, and that he hath lest you here, to the end that you may well prepare yourself. And since you served our Lord with alacrity, in the state of matrimony, serve him now in the state of widowhood, and in the trouble of that state, with patience. That so, if then you gained thirty fold, you may now gain sixty. And so you shall lead a life, if not of gust, yet, at the least of great profit, towards the purging of your sins; towards the imitation of the Crucifix; and towards a most certain purchase of his eternal kingdom.
But for the obtaining of all this, you must demand grace of our Lord, with prayers, with tears, with using to read devout books, and with receiving the celestial bread of the most Blessed Sacrament. And so lift up your dejected hart, and walk roundly on. For before you can get to heaven, you will have a long way to make. And if you be to enter there, this will not be the last affliction, which you shall have. For the jewel which you expect, is of so inestimable a value (it being God himself) that how much soever it cost, it can never be dear. And since you are one day to possess it, you are now to rejoice in the hope thereof. And complain not of your afflictions, but say, so great is the good for which I hope, that I feel not the misery which I have. Let Jesus Christ our Lord, accomplish all this in you, as I desire, and beg of him. Amen.
Footnotes
Chapter 42 of 57