Letter 84. To a Religious woman
Of the mercy which God shows to such as he calls to Religion, and of the exercices and obligation of a Religious woman.
SERVANT OF JESUS CHRIST I Have been thinking sometimes, whither our lord might not ere this have taken you out of this life, to give you the fruition of himself. For to be alive and to remain so long without letting me know how your soul doth, seems to me a kind of incredible thing. Though yet it be true, that our lord some times, gives a soul so great feeling of himself, that it remembers nothing else because it is wholly employed upon him, who is all things. I beseech his goodness, that this may have been the cause of your silence. For then, I shall not only, not complain, but greatly rejoice. For what other thing, can I so well desire for your soul, which in our lord, I love; as to see it all employed, in loving, and in being beloved by him. This is the end, of all the pains which he hath taken with your soul, and of all the favours which he hath bestowed upon it.
Tell me, O spouse of Christ our lord, how you do. Do you love him much, and do you hold him fast, in your bosom? is you heart even wounded, with the care you have, to keep him content; and to seek his holy will, though it be in contradiction of your own? For though the love of our lord, be the joy, and solace of our souls; yet, on the other side, it suffers them not to repose; but like a continual spur, is soliciting and urging them on, that so every day, they may please him whom they love, more and more. For this reason this love, is compared to fire, which never is at rest; but the lively flame thereof, is ever working, and striving upward. This love, will have nothing to do with slackness; nor knows it, how to take any rest, but in our lord. And this is the love, of a Loyal sponse, which, it is reason that you be, in performance, since you are so in profession; & since, you have an inward vocation, to put that in practice, to which you were called.
Do not forget the day, on which you offerred yourself to your spouse, by the hand of your Prelatt. Nor that other day, when your spouse conveyed his hand, into your heart, making you understand both yourself, and him. He said in your soul, let light be made: and then all darkness, and sorrow fled away: and now, like one who sees the light of heaven, you live in joy, because you know which way you may go, without danger of falling. For if you be careful to keep those days in mind, you will see, that by the former of them, you were bound to lodge your love upon our lord after a very particular manner, because the contract of marriage obliges either party, to love the other. And on the second day our lord shown the love which he bore to you; and he gave you strength to pay according, to your weakness, the love which you own to him. For what have you out of your own stock, but obligations? and what means have you to pay any thing towards the coming out of debt: you, being a poor engaged creature; who indeed deserved to be ever kept in prison, in misery, and in chains, as David saith. But the rich Jesus Christ, hath given you the plenty of his grace, whereby you may know and love him, and may overcome your contraries; and pluck down that strong Goliath; which is the Devil, who bids battle against all such, 1 king. 17. as resolve to serve Christ our Lord.1
It is not reason, I say, it is notreason, that you should forget what you own, nor how God hath enabled you to pay. And for that which God hath given you, you are much the more bound to serve him. For to be a religious woman is the condition of many; but to receive so particular lights, and favours from heaven, wherewith to serve our lord, is the case of few. Abraham, bestowed gifts, even upon those children which he had by less principal wives; but he left his inheritance, and estate, to the lawful son of that wife of his, who was most beloved; that we may understand thereby the difference of the gifts of God, which he imparteth, in this life, to several persons.
Our lord be thanked, for that your lines, and lots, are fallen into the best ground; forasmuchas grace was given you, whereby to make you change your state of life, and to despise the world with your whole heart, and to despise also yourself; and to obey the superior, of your Monastery, as your mother, and to love all your sisters, and Almighty God, more than the very apples of your eyes. This is that celestial favour, which was done you, that you might be rich, and well supplied with all things necessary, in Christ our Lord crucified, and from thence comes this so hopeful and happy change, which you have made, in the manner of your life, and that invisible beauty, wherewith your soul is endued.
And what now remains, but that you be like one, who hath acquired great worldly riches, and who instantly entertains servants, to ●eepe it. And so you must be careful, to keep that which our lord hath given you, lest else your soul turn beggar, after it hath been so rich; which is a kind of life, of more affliction and grief, then theirs, who never knew what belonged to riches. Remember what your spouse saith; and conceive that he saith it to you, as indeed he doth, Now thou art whole, so thou sinne no more, lest a worse thing happen to thee. Live with a holy doubt, and care, how you may keep that safe, which our lord hath given you; and how yet withal, you may gain fine other talents, to the five you have; and whether or no you have oil in your lamp, and that such, as may be able to last many years. And till the very hour of your death, let this word sound in your ears, Behold your spouse comes, go forth to meet him. For if you live with this care, you will still be well employed, and you will not have leisure to cast your eyes upon any thing of this life. For this alone suffices to give us enough to think upon; yea and to grow weak withal.2
The holy scripture saith, that this alone, is enough to break our sleeps. And if you have not this care, I shallbe full of sorrow for it. For by the want thereof, vanity and curiosity do straight enter in, and as many tales of the lives of others, as they make who take no heed to their own. And so by little and little, a soul grows to be seven times worse, than it was before.
I expect not to receive such fruits, and so full of bitterness at your charitable hands, but rather the fruits of benediction, and sweetness; like a tree which is planted near the streams of water; which, with the leaves, and with the fruit, gives that man a glad heart, who took care thereof. But yet if by humane frailty, you be fallen into any negligence, as it happens sometimes: see that instantly you wake, and break of that sleep. lest it prove in●●tall to you. And beg pardon of our lord, who is full of mercy, and benignity. For though he be angry with the defects of such as have already known him, and will punish them yet he drives not away his children: and he gives them correction, not with fury, but with the rod of a Father. Go you therefore instantly to him, though you know you have offended him, for perhaps he may have showed you his anger, to the end that you should remove it from him, by your humility, and purpose of amendment. He will instantly forgive you, and sometimes he imparts particular favours, even as if it were in recompense of our carelessness.
Take heed you grow not stiff, and fixed in tepidity, for this is a disease very hardly cured. And yet, on the other side, you must not be dismayed, if you be not always in so great fervour as were fit. For you are but a woman, and no Angel: you are but weak, and not endued with much strength. The greatest courtesy you can do your greatest enemy, is to remain fallen, in the way (as some cripple might be in a slough of mire) with the bones as it were, of your soul broken through distrust, as if now you had no more to do, with the business of getting up to heaven.
Our lord's pleasure is, that you should think highly of his goodness: and that he drives them not away, who knowing their own weakness, go, and seek for strength, and remedy at his hands And indeed our pride is so very great that for the cure thereof, he lets us fall many times, to the committing of these very things, which had formerly been very fare from us, that so being fallen, we may rise again. And then, knowing by experience, what kind of things we are, we grow to thank our lord, for that which he is to us, and from that time forward, we despise ourselves, & we begin to live with greater doubt, and care, and fear: lest we happen to lose that, a second time, which had been lost by us, once before.
Thus doth our most wise physician, and most loving father, draw our cure, out of our very wounds themselves; and life, out of our death, and he shows his goodness, by our wickedness. And though we fight sometimes, against him, with the weapons of sin, which gives him provocation, yet his goodness steps out like a conqueror, and imparts a thousand millions of benefits to us.
Be sure therefore, that you serve this lord, with all the force you have. And if hitherto you have done so, give him thankes for it, and if you have failed thereof, see you return to him, with shame, and firm purpose of amendment. Comfort yourself also with the holy Sacraments of the Church, they being the remedies which he hath left. And put yourself into a new way, and now, at last, learn to trip no more upon that, at which you stumbled most before. So that you may be of their number, of whom S. Paul saith that all things cooperate to ●e good of them, who love God. For howsoever they may fall, they are not bruised to death, because our lord conveys his hand under them, to receive them In the midst of these things, I beseech you, call my miseries to mind that you may obtain mercy for me of our lord. And deliver my salutations to all those persons in your house, who serve our lord. I beseech him to be your eternal love. Amen.3
Footnotes
Chapter 32 of 57