Letter, Sala Balust no. 140. To a Cavalier
He shows, that in the business of serving our Lord, faint desires are not sufficient, but there must be deeds. He also shows the hurts, which multiplicity of business brings, to such as are but beginning to serve God.
I Pray God, that both your going to that University▪ your abode there, and your return from thence, may be happy to you: you know already, that in this affair of serving Christ our Lord, it is not enough to have certain faint desires, but they must be accompanied with works; and sometimes with sweat, even as it were of blood. And I much fear, lest the difficulty of the way, should fright you, and lest you might grow to lose the sweet of the kernel, because the skin, and shell, is bitter. The gate is straight, whereby we must enter into the way of God, but after we are entered, we find that to be true by experience which is written. Ducam 〈…〉 ●emitas aequitatis, quas cum ingressus sueris non arctabuntur gressus tui. I will lead thee, by the ways of equity; into which when thou shalt be entered, thy paces shall not be straitened. And then a man finds, that the yoke of Christ is not heavy to him, since he reaches now his hand to them, who have suffered temptations for his sake: and he comforts them who are in tears, and cures them who have broken hearts. A happy affliction is that (though no other comfort did succeed it) which is endured by us, because we hold the standard of Christ our Lord upright, resolving rather to endure the sharp blows of temptation, then to enjoy an ill peace, and to have war with God.1
You must humble yourself much before our Lord, and lament your own misery, in the sight of his mercy. For there is not means, whereby any good may come to us, but only by the favour of heaven. And there is no way to obtain this favour, but only the profound knowledge of our misery; crying out from the very bottom of our hearts to that lord, who dwells on high; and drives not such persons from him as are overwrought with the burden of their miseries; and who even swelled, in the lake, (as the Prophet jeremy, saith) with a weighty stone upon their backs.
I like well, that you resolve to make acquaintance with those Fathers. For that good opinion which they of your City do now conceive of them, that have I conceived long ago. Only you are to look, that the good example which you see in others, may not be unprofitable to you. And I beseech our Lord, that he will be pleased to let me pass a little that away, though it be but to give contentment to you.
The excuse which you make, for having accepted the Rectorship of the University, is just, since you were advised to it by persons so well qualifyed, and so many as that they did even oblige you to it. But I beseech you Sir, be not negligent, now that you are put to sea; since it was not without cause, that you feared, even so much as to embark yourself. For my part, I am full of thought, lest our adversary have traced out this course, so to hinder your proceeding, in the way to God, which you were taking. For many employments (though even about good things) should not be committed, to young beginners; because they use, to trouble such persons, as have not yet set all those things in order which concern themselves. And so our Adversary hath done much hurt to many, by this means, and brought them to the pass of some poor little swallow, which goes forth to fly before she is well in strength; and then having not power, to prosecute her flight up aloft, nor yet to return to her nest from which she went, she falls down into the hands of boys; and they play with her a while, and then kill her.
This business is so much the more subtle, & perplexed, as it comes cloaked with good zeal. And new beginners, must be watchful in this case, little less than they would be, when there were question of their committing a sin. For if there be any true zeal in them, it is fit that first they be zealous of their own good. And zeal of others, which wants zeal of a man's self, hath been the fearful ruin of many souls. I desire that you will conceive a very great fear, & care, in those things, which may seem good, to you. For in such cases as those, doth that devil, who is called Meridian, deceive them at high noon, whom he was not able to deceive, in express darkness. And do not precipitate yourself, upon the making of great reformations; nor conceive, that you are there, for that purpose, but rather fear, lest it be for the punishment of your own sins. And if your hart offer to give you, that you shall do great matters in this Office; believe it not; but rather lay it prostrate before our Lord, with fear; beseeching him to keep it still, & that he permit you not to lose the little, which he hath given you, of the knowledge of himself. And if yet indeed, you must execute any thing, let it not be till first, you have recommended it earnestly to our lord; and let it not be of that nature, (through the difficulty thereof) as that you must probably think, it is like to cost your mind much unquietness; and in the end, that the profit will be uncertain. Some other man may do those things, or else yourself, at some other time. But now, look you into your own soul, consider your ways well, and direct your feet rightly in them. And because you have little oil in your lamp, answer them thus who shall desire oil of you, Ne forte non sufficiat nobis, & vobis. I can spare you none, for perhaps there is not enough, for us both And with this religious fear, even in those things which are good; and with calling upon our Lord from your hart, and with plying your study hard, you may perhaps go through this dangerous passages, without harm. I beseech Christ, by the merit of his blood, to grant you this favour. Amen.23
Footnotes
Chapter 45 of 57