Chapter 1: Ilie Saint's thanksgiving to God for the first grace vouchsafed to her, by which her mind was withdrawn from earthly things and united to Him

Let the Abyss of Uncreated Wisdom invoke the Abyss of Omnipotent Power to praise and extol the amazing charity which, by an excess of Thino infinite mercy, 0 most sweet God of my life and only Love of my soul, hast led Thee through a desert, pathless, and dry land — that is, through the many obstacles I have placed to Thy mercy — to descend into the valley of my miseries.

I was in the twenty-sixth year of my age when, on the Monday * before the Feast of the Purification of Thy most chaste Mother, in a happy hour, after Compline, at the close of day, Thou the true Light, who art clearer than any light, and yet deeper than any recess, having resolved to dissipate the obscurity of my darkness, didst sweetly

*"Secunda feria ante, &c., quoa fuit sexto kalendas Februarii." The French translation has : "Lundi vingt-cinquieme Janvier;" the Italian, " Che fu alii 27 di Genaio."

and gently commence my conversion by appeasing the trouble winch Thou hadst excited in my soul for more than a month, which Thou didst deign to use, as I believe, to destroy the fortress of vain-glory and curiosity which my pride had raised up within me, although I bore the name and habit of a religious to no purpose ; but Thou didst will to use this means, that Thou mightest thereby show me Thy salvation.

Being, then, in the middle of our dormitory, at the hour I have named, and having inclined to an ancient religious, according to our rule, on raising my head I beheld Thee, my most loving Love, and my Redeemer, surpassing in beauty the children of men, under the form of a youth of sixteen years, beautiful and amiable, and attracting my heart and my eyes by the infinite light of Thy glory, which Thou hadst the goodness to proportion to the weakness of my nature ; and standing before me, Thou didst utter these words, full of tenderness and sweet ness : " Thy salvation is at hand ; why art thou consumed with grief ? Hast thou no counsellor, that thou art so changed by sadness ? " When Thou hadst spoken thus, although I knew that I stood corporally in the place I have mentioned, it seemed to me, nevertheless, that I was in our choir, in the corner * where I had been accustomed to offer up my tepid prayers, and that there I heard these words : "I will save thee, I will deliver thee ; fear not ;" and after I had heard them, I saw Thee place Thy right hand in mine, as if to ratify Thy promise.

Then I heard Thee speak thus : " You have licked the dust with My enemies, and you have sucked honey amidst thorns ; but return now to Me — I will receive you, and inebriate you with the torrent of My celestial delights." When Thou hadst said these words, my soul melted within me ; and as I desired to approach Thee, I beheld between Thee and me (I mean, from Thy right hand to my left hand) a hedge of such prodigious length that I could see no end to it either before or behind, and the top of it appeared so set with thorns that I could find no way to return to Thee, Thou only consolation of my soul. Then I paused to weep over my faults and crimes, which were doubtless figured by this hedge which divided us. In the ardour of the desires with which I desired Thee, and in my weakness, 0 charitable Father of the poor, " whose mercies are over all Thy works," Thou didst take me by the hand, and placed me near Thee instantly, without difficulty, so that, casting my eyes upon the precious Hand which Thou hadst extended to me as a pledge of Thy promises, I recog nised, O sweet Jesus, Thy radiant wounds, which have made of no effect the handwriting that was against us.

By these and other illuminations Thou didst enlighten and soften my mind, detaching me powerfully, by an interior unction, from an inordinate love of literature and from all my vanities, so that I only despised those things which had formerly pleased me ; and all that was not Thee, O God of my heart, appeared vile to me, and Thou alone wert pleasing to my soul. And I praise, bless, adore, and thank from my inmost soul, as far as I am able, but not as far as I ought, Thy wise mercy and Thy merciful wisdom, that Thou, my Creator and Redeemer, didst endeavour in so loving a manner to submit my unconquerable self-opiniatedness to the sweetness of Thy yoke ; composing a beverage suitable to my temperament, which has infused new light into my soul, so that I began to run after the odour of Thy ointments, and Thy yoke became sweet arid Thy burden light, though a little while before they had appeared hard, and almost unbearable.