Chapter 11: She receives the gift of tears, and is warned of the snares which the demon has laid for her

Since, Lord, Thou hast so often diversified the salutary taste of Thy presence, and that Thou hast prevented my baseness so assiduously with the sweetness of Thy benedic tions, especially during the first three years, and more especially when I was admitted to the participation of Thy adorable Body and Blood, — since I can make no return to Thee for this, even by a single thanksgiving for a thousand favours, — I remit the thanksgivings which I owe to that eternal, infinite, and incommunicable gratitude by which, O ever-peaceful and resplendent Trinity, Thou dost fully satisfy all our debts of Thyself, by Thyself, and in Thyself. And I, who am but dust, offer my thanksgivings to Thee, through Him who stands by Thee, clothed with my sub- stance, through the operation of the Holy Spirit, for all the benefits which I have received from Thee, but principally, for having instructed my ignorance by so evident a sign, that Thou hast shown me clearly how I corrupt the purity of Thy gifts.

On one occasion, when I assisted at a Mass at \vhich 1 was to communicate, I perceived that Thou wert present, by an admirable condescension, and that Thou didst use this similitude to instruct me, by appearing as if parched with thirst, and desiring that I should give Thee to drink ; and while I was troubled thereat, and could not even force a tear from my eyes, I beheld Thee presenting me with a golden cup with Thine own Hand. When I took it, my heart immediately melted into a torrent of fervent tears. Then I saw a certain despicable creature at my right hand, who was secretly putting something bitter and venomous into it, and inciting me to put it in this cup. But as this was followed by an instant motion of vain-glory, I easily understood that it was a stratagem of that ancient enemy, who turns against us all his rage when he sees us enriched with Thy gifts.

But thanks be to Thy faithfulness, my God, thanks to Thy protection, who art one and true God, Trinity in Unity, Unity in Trinity, who permittest not that we should be tempted beyond our strength, although Thou sometimes permittest us to be tempted for our advancement in virtue ; and when Thou seest that we confide in Thee, Thou undertakest our cause, and, with boundless generosity, dost win the victory for us, and then allow us the merit of it, if only we will to do right : and Thou dost procure ua this advantage to increase our merit, that, as Thou dost iiot permit our enemy to interfere with our free will, so neither dost Thou interfere with it Thyself in any way.

96 THE EEVELATIONS OF ST. GEKTRt,rDE.

Thou didst teach me also, on another occasion, that to yield easily to the enemy makes him insolent in attacking us again on the same subject ; therefore Thy justice re quires that Thou shouldst sometimes conceal the greatness of Thy mercy in pardoning our negligence, because we re sist evil more certainly, more usefully, more efficaciously, and more happily, when we resist it with all our might.