Letter, Sala Balust no. 146. To a Cavalier his friend
He shows how that person who feels himself grown could in the way of virtue, hath reason to apprehend it much, and to grieve much, for the present ill, and for the danger wherein he is of falling into greater mischief; and namely of a hardened hart which is the next door to hell. That usually this decay of spirit, grows either from ingratitude, or negligence. And lastly he speaks of the remedies.
HE who in some former time, hath seen his soul, a proficient in virtue; and at the present finds it to be in decay, hath much cause to be in pain, and to procure remedy, by all the means he may. For, if a man be apt to feel the diminution which he may suffer, in his temporal goods; how much more ought we to apprehend the decay of the goods of our soul, which are goods indeed? job said with a deep sigh, job. 29 that he wished to be as he had been, in the time of his youth, when our Lord protected him, and when he made his candle shine over his head. These and other things, which he affirmed himself to have possessed before, and were wanting to him then, at the present, must rather be thought to have been certain choice, delightful, and devout communications, which formerly he had received from God, and then were missing; then that he was then in present want of his former virtues. For since he gave so good account of himself, in that time of trial, which is true time wherein indeed it may be seen, what strength one hath, he is found to have had no cause to complain, as if our Lord did not then protect him, or carry his light over him; and therefore he saith upon the former ground, who will grant that I may be as I was before etc.
Now if he complain of this, what will that man have reason to do, who finds himself wasting in point of virtue itself; and who perceives that his soul goes estranging itself by little and little not only from those communications which he had enjoyed, and wherewith he comforted himself, in former time; but even from the very custody of God's law, and from conformity with his holy will. And although this mischief be great, even for the present, yet is it greater by much, for the future loss, which may be feared. For a little fall, in relation to a great one, lies as close as the eeve doth to the holy day;
and as near he is to be vomited out, who leads a life of tepidity.1
God, for his precious passion, keep every mortal man, from this misery which is so great as to make Saint Peter say, that such men as they, had been better, never to have known our Lord, then after they had known him, and walked in his way, to have forsaken him and to have betaken themselves to wicked courses. And that was not without great mystery, which our lord said. to the man who had been sick, eight and thirty years: Now thou art whole; but take heed thou sinne no more, lest a worse thing happen to thee. These words are to be weighed, & feared withal, for they contain a rigorous threat, and are delivered by the mouth of Truth itself, and are wont many times, to be executed, upon such as fear him not, nor take a course to prevent their falling into them.2
There happens a worse thing to them, because the sins into which they fall afterward are more highly qualifyed, and more deeply rooted, than the sins committed in former times. As there is a difference between a man when he falls with his eyes open, and when with his eyes shut; or between a man who hath wit, and yet doth the works of a fool, and another, who either hath no wit at all or very little; or between a man who ought his life to another in the way of gratitude, and service, for great favours received, and another who had received no such favours. One thing it is to meet the king in the street, & (seeing and knowing, who he is), not only to do him no reverence, but to proceed irreverently towards him; and another thing it is, not to know him at all, or not very well; or at least, not to consider who it was, that passed.
A great favour it is which God doth to them, to whom he gives both the knowledge of their sins; and of his divine love, but yet withal he obliges them to much thereby sin●e according to the gift he saith t●a●●he account must be made.
And if it be ill done, not to pay good with good; what will it be, to render evil for good received, and to answer with offences instead of services?3
There happens a worse thing to them, since they are wont to sin more, and with more faulty circumstances then before; and they come by little and little, towards a hardness of hart; and to dry themselves up, in such sort, that they are not in disposition, to do the good which they did before; I mean not, when they were so prosperous, and happy in our Lord, but even before that, when yet, he had not called them to his service. Then do they sigh, though it be with a hard & untoward hart, to obtain a little spiritual good again, and they find it not. But that which they find is, That heaven is to them made of brass, and the earth of iron; for there is not a drop of water to be found, which may soften their souls, or yield them any fruit, whereby they may be sustained. And they, who in former times, were visited & watered, with many good inspirations, to which they vouchsafed not to answer, do now desire some one, and cannot compass it.
Thus are negligent & fastidious rich men punished, by being killed with hunger; as the rich covetous man was afflicted with thirst.
And it is not many miles, from this hardness of hart to hell itself, since the Scripture saith: It shall go ill with the hard hearted at the latter day. And the being cured of this evil, costs dear, and it is a thing which is of great privilege and grace when it is granted by our lord, as S. Bernard saith. No man of a hard hart did ever obtain salvation, unless God, did in his mercy cure him first, and did take his stony hart from him, and give him a hart of flesh, instead thereof.4
These are the journey's ends of those wicked sons, who after that they were received for sons, and treated after that rate, do forget their Lord who possessed them, who made them, and who created them. And he who trembles not at this, doth already give testimony enough, that he is hard hearted; and hath reason to fear so much the more, as he fears the less. And therefore Sir, let us consider these things, as sign●s of that, which is like to follow. When we see that the foundations of a wall fall away, it is time to apply some remedy, since we are advertised of the danger. Let us greatly fear the going backward in spirit, of one only day, & let us not suffer a defect, though it may seem small, to pass away, without punishment. And I say though it seem small, for in very deed, none at all is so, for the very lest of them doth us much hurt, though some of them be greater than other.5
Let us resolve that this mischief proceeds from one of these two causes; either not being thankful for the good received, or being negligent, in conserving it. Saint Bernard saith, That the cause why God imparting great benefits to many, without even so much as their ask, doth yet deny them other inferior benefits which they asked afterwards, is because they were ungrateful for those greater benefits; and thereby make themselves unworthy of the lesser. Nor is it any new thing, that he who uses ill the great blessing which he receives (as if there were no need of taking pains, to conserve that which is already gotten) should lose them. So that we must now thank God again, for the benefits which we have received; and let us employ them well, (forasmuch as now remains in our power), lest we utterly lose them all, and ourselves with them. Let us be the more remiss in other businesses, that so we may be attentive to this, with all our power. When a man divides his estate, into very many parts and payments, it grows to be in effect nothing. And he who hath received particular blessings from heaven may content himself with keeping them, and growing rich in them, though he be not so prosperous in the goods of this world. If he have a mind to comply very punctually with the desire of temporal riches, I fear that it will be upon the price of somewhat else which is more worth. For the world is so full of malignity, 1. John. 5. and our forces are so weak, that we are like some little poor candle, in the midst of many winds, and if we fail to be very diligent, to keep it in, they will blow it out. Such is the misery of us who live in this exile. And therefore they, who have any brains, are wont to fear, and sigh, and groan, with desire to be gone from hence.
Make you account that this is your chief estate, your honour your safety, and your life; and place your right eye upon this and your left upon other things. And if somewhat must needs be lost, let it be that, which will one day be lost, whether we will or Noah, how carefully soever we may think to keep it. And let that remain in safety, which, if ourselves do not lose, we shall be saved for ever: jacob disposed of that wife and those children whom he least loved, Gen. ● into the front or forward of his company, desiring, that if any ill accident should arrive it might rather fall first upon them, then upon that wife and children which he loved better. And every day we do the same, in marshalling the parts of our temporal estate. For we dispose ourselves to lose that which is less, and to save that which is more.
Let us therefore resolve that it is better to have a good conscience, than much temporal riches; and to have credit with God, then with man, and so in the rest. And procuring to appease our Lord, by penance, and confession, for that which is past, let us begin to make new purposes; and lead a new life, with fresh courage, being very much offended with ourselves, for having been so ungrateful, to our great benefactor, and so negligent in that, which concerned us most. Give not over the exercises of penance, of prayer, of reading spiritual books, of frequentation of the Sacraments, though you perform them but dryly. But above all there be no w●nt of humble prayer, and of a wounded hart. For our merciful Lord who stands expecting, that we should go towards him, to do us good, will come out upon the way, to meet us; and will cover us close with the mantle of his pity, & goodness. And will give us new strength, that now we may again, begin to serve him, and procure new merits for his kingdom. I beseech his divine Majesty, that he may so proceed with you, for the eternal glory of his goodness.
The books about which you ask, and which I take to be convenient for you, are the Confessions, and Meditations of S. Augustine; the Morals of S. Gregory; the Sum of the mysteries of our faith by Tit●leman, and Dionifius Carthusianus. God almighty keep you ever.
Footnotes
Chapter 47 of 57