Letter, Sala Balust no. 153. To a friend of his
TO those many obligations into which you put me by your letters, I answer late, and ill. And though I be confounded therewith, yet I hope Christ our lord hath given you some little crumb, of Charity. Now the first condition thereof, is (by the testimony of him who had store of it, and who knew it well) Quia patiens est, That it is patiented. I beseech that immense fountain of Charity, to increase it in you, till you be enabled thereby, even to lay down your life, for your enemies, as Christ our lord laid down his for us.1
You complain of dryness in devotion, though yet I conceive you speak it not, by way of complaint, but only, as relating to one who love's you, the disposition wherein, you find your soul. And I say, that so long as this dryness reaches not to weaken your desire or virtue it is no such thing, as aught to put you to much pain. For that which is questioned thereby, is but the loss of a certain sweetness, in the things of God, though yet this is wont to be a spur, to make such men quit themselves, and to fly faster on towards our Lord, who know how to make right use thereof. And because I desire all good to you, whether it be in much, or little; I wish that you were endued, with a Love of God, which were both strong, and wise, and sweet also, since a love with all these qualities, is due to him, to whom we own our love. But yet, if he impart that love alone, which is strong, and wise, it will be, because he intends to do us other secret favours, by means which are unknown to us, and to untie us from ourselves, and to exercise our virtue, whereof there will be great need, for a man who treats with him, who is infinitely wise and doth extremely like, that no man should be so in his own eyes.
Your care must therefore be to follow on, according to that strength, which our Lord gives you; for his grace, will not fail. And you must give him thankes, both for that which you understand; and for that also which you understand not; and in this doth your safety consist. And as you grow elder, and to have more experience, of the very little which any man is able to do, towards the contriving of things, how small soever they may be; you will be confirmed more, and more, in the good custom, which you begin to take, to hold your peace. And you will perceive, that a business will then be well dispatched, when we speak at large with God, and but a little with men.
This ignorancy of ours, is an unspeakable kind of thing; and so is our setting ourselves out, and our ignorant kind of zeal, to do good. And we have much, and much a do, to believe it, till we have bought this knowledge, upon the price of many errors, which we shall have committed. For we inherit, from our first parents, a certain fly, and secret desire, of a kind of divinity, which cannot be sought without theft. This makes us imitate our first fathers, therein; and to deny that things may be done, how, and when we list; with certain other deep, and most secret roots of pride, which are never to be discovered, without light from heaven; and this cannot be obtained, without much Prayer.2
As for the particular of those souls, which you desire to reduce; I tell you, as I did before, that you must cordially recommend the business to our Lord, and hope well that you shall have good success. And be you not troubled, or afflicted, since you know, that you have a father in heaven, who calls you towards him, and he will be your guide, in the way. Spend your time, at the present, the best you can, and as for the future, do not vex yourself; but make account that nothing, but your own negligence, cann take God from you. Fight therefore, against this negligence; & if you overcome it, you will find by experience, that the Exchange or Burse is a very Cel● to you; and, that business is but as a River, which may serve to wash you clean.
The way, wherein God hath placed you, requires that more diligence be used then that which your letter saith you use, concerning the constancy of your devotions. And if I were with you, I could tell you of strange things which have happened to men, who had been slack in performing their good exercises. Whereby you might perceive, that our Lord esteems it not as any small infirmity, for a man to be a Lunatic; sometimes doing his duty, and sometimes, not. A clear sign it is, of a soul in subjection to selfewill, to do a thing when the humour serves, and afterward, upon mere humour, to let it alone. And forasmuch as such men want the abnegation of themselves, they are in fault, both when they cease from doing any thing; and so are they also, when they do it; because they live, butt in themselves. And the punishment, which our Lord inflictes upon these men, is that he is not liberal of himself to them, when they desire it; because they are not liberal of themselves to him, when he requires it. We must therefore be sure, to ask pardon, for the little constancy which we have used, in the service of our Lord; and to reform ourselves with an entire resignation into his hands, concerning the success of our endeavours, whether they be more, or less.
Take courage once to lose yourself, for the love of our Lord; obeying that which he commands; and never look, upon what is to follow upon it. For whether it be dryness; or devotion, it cannot fail to be a favour, since it is sure to be the pleasure of our Lord. And by how much the more, you shall be able to live towards the contenting of him; and to be dead towards the seeking of your own contentment, so much the more happy shall you be. Spend not time at all, in thinking whether it were best, to accept, or else to refuse, that business, whereof they wrote to you, that without doubt it would be done. For this is the sign, of a hart not delivered up to recollection, and which easily is induced to lose the present time, with care of the future. Forget it; and beseech our Lord, that it may not prove a temptation to you; since he knows your weakness.
And live without perplexity, or affliction of mind, solemnising such a Feast to our Lord, as that your hart being asked, what care it hath, it may answer you, none at all, but only that I may be so happy, as to give this little time, to our Lord. All that swerves from this, is not sound, whatsoever complexion it may carry.
And here it comes fitly in, to weigh, what it is to be changing from one thing to another. All those are effects of a heart which is but slack, and not employed about that, whereunto it was called; which is, a continual intercourse with our Lord; who looks upon it in every moment of time; and desires it to look as often towards him, and to open itself to him, because indeed, it is his own: and to deny itself to all that, which is not God.
O base abominable man, in whose hart God desires to repose, and to give it rest; and yet the man goes labouring here, and there; and God tells him, the while, that to the end he may find rest, he must enter into himself, and must dye there to himself; and that so, he shall find his true safety, & life; and that a certain Sun shall then rise to him, which will discharge all those former clouds, and sorrows, & he shall come to understand certain things, whereof he knows nothing yet.
Humility, and diligence are needful here, for the keeping of our hearts shut up. And our Lord died for this, that we might have strength to dye to ourselves for his sake, & to keep our hearts recollected. Christ our Lord, be your light. But take you heed of being desirous to know things concerning Mental Prayer, more by speculation, then by practice. For our lord, is the teacher of Infants, & abs●ondit se, & sua, a prudentibus: he hides both himself and his secrets, from all such, as are but worldly wise.
Footnotes
Chapter 51 of 57