Chapter XVII

That some souls are not suited to contemplation, and others are long in attaining it. Every one who is truly humble should be content to go by the way our Lord conducts her.¹

1. Humility is necessary for prayerful souls. 2. All who practise prayer cannot become contemplatives. 3. Vocal prayer less dangerous than contemplation. 4. In the active way we serve like Martha. 5. Both the active and contemplative life serve our Lord. 6. The cross the surest way.

1. I seem now to have come to the subject of prayer, but there still remains something important for me to say: it concerns humility, which is most requisite in this convent because it is the principal aid to prayer. As I said,² it is very necessary for you to know how to practise humility on every occasion: this is one of the chief points, and most essential for persons given to prayer. How can any one who is truly humble think herself as good as others who are contemplatives? God may, by His goodness and mercy and by the merits of Christ, make her deserve to receive such graces as they do, but, if she takes my advice, she will always rank herself in the lowest place, as our Lord taught us both by His word and example.³ Let her respond to His call if God leads her by the way of contemplation;⁴ otherwise, if she thinks herself happy in being allowed to wait upon the servants of God, humility will serve in its stead.⁵ Let her praise His Majesty for having placed her in their company, although she deserves to be the slave of the devils in hell. I have good cause for saying this, for, as I told you, it is important to understand that His Majesty does not lead all souls in the same way, and perhaps she who thinks herself the least of all may be the highest in His eyes.

2. Thus it does not follow, because all the nuns in this convent practise prayer, that they must all be contemplatives. Such an idea would greatly discourage those who do not understand the truth that contemplation is a gift of God which is not necessary for salvation nor for earning our eternal reward, nor does any one here require us to possess it. She who is without it, yet who follows the counsels I have given, will attain great perfection. It may be that she will gain far more merit, as she has to work harder⁶ on her own account; our Lord is treating her like a valiant woman and keeping until hereafter all the happiness she has missed in this life. Let her not be disheartened nor give up prayer or the other practices of which her sisters make use — sometimes our Lord comes very late, and pays as much all at once as He has given to others during many years.⁷ For more than fourteen years I could not meditate without a book.⁸ There are many people of this kind, and others cannot meditate even with the help of reading, but are obliged to recite vocal prayers which to a certain extent arrest their attention. Some have so volatile an imagination that they cannot fix their thoughts, which are always wandering, upon one thing; if they try to think of God they are troubled with a thousand foolish fancies, scruples, and doubts.

3. I know a very old nun of most exemplary life (would to God my life were like hers!), very holy, very austere, and a perfect religious, who has spent many hours, and even a number of years, in vocal prayers, but cannot make use of mental prayer: the utmost she can do is to pause a little, from time to time, during her Ave Marias and Pater nosters, which is a very holy custom. Many people resemble her: if they are humble, let them not think they are more imperfect or believe they will be any the worse for it in the end, for they will be quite as well off as those who enjoy many consolations. In one way such souls are safer, for we cannot tell whether spiritual delights come from God or from the devil: if they are not divine they are very dangerous, for Satan tries to excite pride by their means; however, if they are sent by God there is nothing to fear, for they bring humility with them,⁹ as I fully explained in another book.

4. Other souls, receiving no spiritual consolations, are humble, for they doubt whether it is not through their own fault and are most anxious to improve. When they see any one else weeping, unless they do the same, they think they must be much more backward than she is in God's service, although perhaps they are more advanced, for tears,¹⁰ though a good sign, do not always indicate perfection. Humility, mortification, detachment, and other virtues are the safest: there is no cause for fear, nor need you doubt that you may become as perfect as the greatest contemplatives. St. Martha was holy,¹¹ though we are never told she was a contemplative; would you not be content with resembling this blessed woman who deserved to receive Christ our Lord so often into her home, where she fed and served Him, and where He ate at her table, and even, perhaps, off her own plate? If she had always been enraptured like the Magdalen there would have been no one to offer food to this divine Guest. Imagine, then, that this community is the house of St. Martha where there must be different kinds of people. Let not the nun who is called to the active life murmur at others who are absorbed in contemplation, for she knows our Lord will defend them;¹² as a rule, they themselves are silent, for the 'better part'¹³ makes them oblivious of themselves and of all else. Remember that some one must cook the food, and think yourself favoured in being allowed to serve with Martha. Reflect: that true humility consists in being willing and ready to do what our Lord asks of us: it always makes us consider ourselves unworthy to be reckoned among His servants.

5. If contemplation, mental and vocal prayer, nursing the sick, the work of the house, and the most menial labour, all serve this Guest Who comes to eat and drink and converse with us, why should we choose to minister to Him in one way rather than in another?¹⁴ Not that I mean that we have any choice as to the labours we shall perform, but you should practise them all, for the decision does not rest with you but with our Lord. But if, after many years' trial, He makes it clear what place each one is to fill, it would be a strange humility for you to choose for yourself. Leave that to the Master of the house: He is wise and powerful and knows what is best for you and for Himself.¹⁵

6. You may be sure, if we do all we can and prepare ourselves for contemplation with all the perfection I have described, that if He does not grant it to us (though I believe, if our humility and detachment are sincere, He is sure to bestow this gift), He is keeping back these consolations in reserve only to give them to us all at once in heaven. As I said elsewhere, He wishes to treat us as valiant women,¹⁶ giving us the cross His Majesty ever bore Himself. What truer friendship can He show than to choose for us what He chose for Himself? Besides, perhaps we should not have gained so rich a reward by contemplation. His judgments are His own — we have no right to interfere with them. It is well the decision does not rest with us, for, thinking it a more peaceful way, we should all immediately become contemplatives! What a gain is ours if, for fear of losing by it, we do not seek to gain by what we think is best, since God never permits the truly mortified soul to lose aught save for its greater gain!