Chapter IV

An exhortation to obey the Rule. Three very important matters in the spiritual life. One must strive after sublime perfection in order to accomplish so great an enterprise. How to practise prayer.¹

1. The greatness of the work we have undertaken. 2. Prayer. 3. The three principal aids to prayer. 4. The evils of particular friendships. 5. Special danger of these in a small community. 6. Precautions against them. 7. Mutual charity. 8. Natural and supernatural love. 9. How to regard our confessors. 10. Discretion in our intercourse with them. 11. When a second confessor is needed. 12. Precautions against worldly confessors. 13. Evils caused by unsuitable confessors.

1. You see, daughters, upon how great an enterprise you have embarked for the sake of the Father Provincial, the Bishop of the diocese, and of your Order, in which all else is included, all being for the good of the Church for which we are bound to pray as a matter of obligation. As I said, what lives are not those bound to live who have had the courage to engage in this design, if they would not be confounded before God and man for their audacity? Clearly we must work hard; it is a great help to have high aspirations: by their means we may cause our actions to become great also, although there are different ways of doing so. If we endeavour to observe our Rule and Constitutions very faithfully, I hope that God will grant our petitions. I ask of you nothing new, my daughters, but only that we should keep what we have professed, which is our vocation and our duty, although there are very diverse ways of observing it.

2. The first chapter of our Rule bids us 'Pray without ceasing':² we must obey this with the greatest perfection possible for it is our most important duty; then we shall not neglect the fasts, penances, and silence enjoined by the Rule. As you know, these are necessary if the prayer is to be genuine; prayer and self-indulgence do not go together. Prayer is the subject of which you have asked me to speak: I beg of you, in return, to practise and to read, again and again, what I have already told you. Before speaking of spiritual matters, that is, of prayer, I will mention some things that must be done by those who intend to lead a life of prayer. These are so necessary that, with their help, a person who can hardly be called a contemplative may make great progress in serving God, but without them none can be a thorough contemplative: any one who imagined that she was so would be much mistaken. May our Lord give me His grace for this task and teach me what to say that may be for His glory. Amen.³

3. Do not fancy, my friends and my sisters, that I am going to lay many charges on you: please God we may fulfil those that our holy Fathers enjoined and practised in our Rules and Constitutions, which include all the virtues, and by performing which our predecessors earned the name of Saints. It would be an error to seek another road or to try to learn some other way. I will explain three matters only, which are in our Constitutions: it is essential for us to understand how much they help us to preserve that peace, both interior and exterior, which our Lord so strongly enjoined. The first of these is love for one another: the second, detachment from all created things: the other is true humility, which, though I mention it last, is chief of all and includes the rest.⁴ The first matter, that is, fervent mutual charity, is most important, for there is no annoyance that cannot easily be borne by those who love one another: anything must be very out of the way to cause irritation. If this commandment were observed in this world as it ought to be I believe it would be a great help towards obeying the others, but whether we err by excess or by defect; we only succeed in keeping it imperfectly.

4. You may think there can be no harm among us in excessive love for one another, but no one would believe what evil and imperfections spring from this source unless they had seen it for themselves. The devil sets many snares here which are hardly detected by those who are content to serve God in a superficial way — indeed, they take such conduct for virtue — those, however, who are bent on perfection understand the evil clearly, for, little by little, it deprives the will of strength to devote itself entirely to the love of God. I think this injures women even more than men, and does serious damage to the community. It prevents a nun from loving all the others equally, makes her resent any injury done to her friend, causes her to wish she had something to give her favourite, to seek for opportunities to talk to her often, to tell her how much she loves her and other nonsense of the sort, rather than of how much she loves God. These close friendships rarely serve to forward the love of God; in fact, I believe the devil originates them so as to make factions among the religious.

5. When a friendship has the service of God for its object it is at once manifest that the will is not only uninfluenced by passion but is rather helped to subdue the passions. I am much in favour of such friendships in a large community, but in St. Joseph's, where there are and can be no more than thirteen nuns, all must love and help one another. For the love of God, keep free from partialities however holy they may be, for even among brethren they are like poison and I can see no advantage in them, but matters are far worse when they exist between relatives, for then they are a perfect pest, as Joseph's history shows. Believe me, sisters, though I may seem to you severe in excluding these attachments, yet this promotes high perfection and quiet peace, and weak souls are spared dangerous occasions. If we are inclined to care for one person more than another (which cannot be helped, for it is but human, and we often prefer the most faulty if they have more natural charm) let us control our likings firmly and not allow ourselves to be overmastered by our affections.

6. Let us love virtue and holiness and always try to prevent ourselves from being attracted by externals. O my sisters! let us not permit our will to become the slave of any save of Him Who purchased it with His Blood, or, without knowing how, we shall find ourselves caught in a trap from which we cannot escape! Lord have mercy on us! the childish nonsense that comes from this is untold, and is so petty that no one could credit it who had not witnessed the thing. It is best not to speak of it here, lest women's foibles should be learnt by those who know nothing about them, so I will give no details, although they astonish even me at times. By the mercy of God I have never been entangled in such things myself, but perhaps this may be because I have fallen into far graver faults. However, as I said, I have often seen it, but as I told you, in a Superior it would be ruinous. In order to guard against these partialities, great care must be taken from the very first, and this more by watchfulness and kindness than by severity. A most useful precaution is for the nuns, according to our present habit, never to be with one another nor talk together except at the appointed times, but that, as the Rule enjoins, the sisters should not be together, but each in her own cell.⁵ Let there be no work-room in St. Joseph's, for although it is a praiseworthy custom, silence is better kept when one is alone. To accustom ourselves to solitude is a great help to prayer, and since prayer is the mortar which keeps our house together and we came here to practise it, we must learn to like what promotes it.⁶

7. To return to speak of our charity for one another. It seems superfluous to insist on this, for who would be so boorish as not to love those with whom they associate and live, cut off as they are from all conversation, intercourse, and recreation with any one outside the house, whilst believing that they bear a mutual love for God, as He loves all of them, since for His sake they have left everything? More especially as goodness always attracts love, and, by the blessing of God, I trust that the nuns of this convent will always be good. Therefore, I do not think there is much need for me to persuade you to love each other. But as regards the nature of this love and of the virtuous love that I wish you all to feel, and the means of knowing whether we possess this greatest of virtues — for it must be a very great virtue since our Lord so often enjoins it on us, as He did most stringently upon His apostles — of this I will speak to you for a short time as well as my inaptitude will allow. If you find the matter explained in any other books, you need not read mine, for perhaps I may not understand what I am talking about except when our Lord enlightens me.⁷

8. I intend treating of two kinds of love: one which is entirely spiritual, free from any sort of affection or natural tenderness which could tarnish its purity, and another which is spiritual but mingled with the frailty and weakness of human nature. The latter is good and seems lawful, being such as is felt between relatives and friends, and is that which I have mentioned. The first of these two ways of loving, and the one that I will discuss is unmixed with any kind of passion that would disturb its harmony. This love, exercised with moderation and discretion, is profitable in every way, particularly when borne towards holy people or confessors, for that which seems only natural is then changed into virtue.⁸ At times, however, these two kinds of love seem so combined that it is difficult to distinguish them from one another, especially as regards a confessor. When persons who practise prayer discover that their confessor is a holy man who understands their spiritual state they feel a strong affection for him; the devil then opens a perfect battery of scruples on the soul, which, as he intends, greatly disturb it, especially if the priest is leading his penitent to higher perfection. Then the evil one torments his victim to such a pitch that she leaves her director, so that the temptation gives her no peace either in one way or the other.

9. In such a case it is best not to think about whether you like your confessor or not, or whether you wish to like him. If we feel friendship for those who benefit our bodies, why should we not feel as great a friendship for those who strive and labour to benefit our souls? On the contrary, I think a liking for my confessor is a great help to my progress if he is holy and spiritual, and if I see that he endeavours to profit my soul. Human nature is so weak that this feeling is often a help to our undertaking great things in God's service.

10. If, however, the confessor be a man of indifferent character, we must not let him know of our liking for him. Great prudence and caution are necessary on account of the difficulty of understanding his disposition: it is best, on this account, to conceal our feelings from him. You should believe that your friendship for him is harmless and think no more about it. You may follow this advice when you see that all your confessor says tends to profit your soul and when you discover no levity in him, but are conscious that he lives in the fear of God: any one can detect this at once unless she wilfully blinds herself. If this be so, do not allow any temptation to trouble you about your liking for him — despise it, think no more about it, and the devil will grow tired and leave you alone. If, however, the confessor appears worldly-minded, be most guarded in every way; do not talk with him even when he converses on religious subjects but make your confession briefly and say no more. It would be best to tell the Prioress that he does not suit your soul and to ask for some one else; this is the wisest course to take if it is possible and can be done without injuring his reputation. I trust in God that it may be feasible for you.

11. In these and other difficulties by which the devil may seek to ensnare us, it would be best, when you are doubtful as to what course to pursue, to consult some theologian as the nuns are permitted to do,⁹ to make your confession to him and to follow his advice in the case, lest some great mistake should be made in remedying the evil. How many people go astray in the world for want of seeking guidance, especially in what affects their neighbours' interests! Some redress must be sought, for when the devil starts such works, unless he is stopped at once the matter will become serious; therefore my advice about changing confessors is the best and I trust in God that you will be able to do so.

12. Be convinced of the importance of this: the thing is dangerous, a hell in itself, and injurious to every one. Do not wait until much harm has come of it, but stop the matter at once in every feasible way: this may be done with a clear conscience. I trust, however, that God will prevent those vowed to a life of prayer from becoming attached to any one who does not serve God fervently, as He certainly will unless they omit to practise prayer and to strive after perfection as we profess to do in this house. If the nuns see that the confessor does not understand their language nor cares to speak of God they cannot like him, for he differs from them. If he is of such a character he will have extremely few chances of doing any harm here, and unless he is very foolish he will neither trouble himself about the servants of God, nor disturb those who have few pleasures and little or no opportunity of following their own way.

13. Since I have begun speaking on this subject, I may say that this is the only harm or at any rate the greatest harm, that the devil can do within enclosed convents. It takes long to discover, so that great damage may have been wrought to perfection without any one knowing how, for if the confessor is worldly himself he will treat the defect lightly in others. Deliver us, O Lord, for thine own sake, from such misfortunes!

It is enough to unsettle all the nuns if their conscience tells them one thing and their confessor another. Where they are allowed no other director I do not know what to do nor how to quiet their minds, for he who ought to bring them peace and counsel is the very author of the evil. There must be a great deal of trouble, resulting in much harm, from these misplaced partialities, as, to my great sorrow, I have seen in certain convents, though not in my own,¹⁰ therefore you need not be surprised at the pains I have taken to make you understand the danger.

Footnotes

1. Valladolid edition, ch. iv.; Escorial, ch. v. ↩

2. Rule 5: 'Meditating on the law of the Lord day and night, and watching in prayer.' ↩

3. Escorial edition. I.H.S. Ch. vi. Urges the nuns to practise three things. Speaks of the first, that is, the love of our neighbour and of the evil of particular friendships. ↩

4. Valladolid edition, ch. v. Speaks of the first of these three subjects, namely, the love of our neighbour, and of the evils of particular friendships. ↩

5. Rule 5. ↩

6. Rule 14. Const. 5. ↩

7. Castle, M. v. ch. iii. 12. Escorial edition, ch. vii. Speaks of two kinds of love and the importance of understanding what constitutes spiritual affection. ↩

8. Life, ch. xxxvii. 6; ch. xl. 24. Rel. ii. 8. ↩

9. Castle, M. vi. ch. viii. 10, 11. Found. ch. xix. 1. ↩

10. In this as in other places, when St. Teresa alludes to 'her own house' or 'convent' she always refers to that of the Incarnation. ↩