Chapter XXXIX

Continues the same subject. A description of different kinds of temptations and of the means of freeing the soul from them.¹

1. How Satan discourages the soul. 2. Difference between humility and discouragement. 3. How to resist this temptation. 4. Indiscreet penances. 5. Temptations to presumption. 6. Humility during divine consolations. 7. A prayer against temptation. 8. How prayer protects us from the devil's snares.

1. Beware, daughters, of a certain kind of humility suggested by the devil which is accompanied by great anxiety about the gravity of our past sins.² He disturbs souls in many ways by this means, until at last he stops them from receiving Holy Communion by doubts as to whether they are in a fit state for it, and such thoughts as: 'Am I worthy of it? Am I in a good disposition? I am unfit to live in a religious community.' The evil one thus hinders Christians from prayer, and when they communicate the time during which they ought to be obtaining graces is spent in wondering whether they were well prepared or no. Things come to such a pass that Satan makes the soul believe that God has forsaken it on account of its sins, so that it almost doubts His mercy. Everything such a person says seems to her on the verge of evil, and all her actions appear fruitless, however good in themselves. She becomes discouraged, thinking that she can do nothing right, for what is good in others she fancies is wrong in herself.

2. Pay great attention, daughters, to what I am about to say. At one time it may be humility and a virtue to think ourselves thus sinful, and at another time it is a most dangerous temptation. I know this, for I have passed through this state myself. However deep humility may be, it neither disquiets, wearies, nor disturbs the soul, but is peaceful, sweet, and serene. Although the sight of our wickedness grieves us and proves to us that we deserve to be in hell and that in justice all mankind should hate us, so that we hardly dare to beg for mercy, yet if it is a right humility this pain is accompanied by suavity, content, and joy, and we do not wish to be without it; indeed, it ought to be prized since it results in self-knowledge. It dilates, instead of troubling or depressing the soul, making it more capable of serving God. The other sorrow which distresses the mind renders it uneasy, completely subverting it and causing great pain, so that there is no possibility of calming the thoughts. You may feel certain that this is a temptation and not humility, with which it has no connection. I believe that this is a plot of the devil to make us think we are lowly, and at the same time to lead us to distrust God.

3. If you are ever in this state, turn your thoughts, as far as possible, from your own misery and meditate on the mercy of God, His love for us, and all that He suffered for our sake. If this depression is a temptation you will be unable to do even this, or to calm your mind and fix it on any other subject except that which wearies you still more; it will be much if you even recognise that it is a temptation.

4. A thing of the same kind occurs when we perform indiscreet penances in order to make ourselves think we have greater sorrow for sin thanothers, and to feel that we are doing something. If we conceal our mortifications from our confessor or Prioress, or are annoyed at being forbidden to practise them,³ and disobey the order, this is clearly a temptation. Strive to obey, even though you find it harder, for this is far more perfect. This advice applies to every case and you must take special care to remember it.⁴

5. Another very treacherous temptation is a feeling of confidence that we shall never relapse into our former faults or care for worldly pleasures again. We say to ourselves: 'Now I know what the world is, that all it contains passes away, and I care more for divine things.' This temptation is the most dangerous of all, especially at the beginning of the religious life, for such souls, feeling that they are safe, do not guard themselves against occasions of sin. Unforeseen obstacles arise in their path and God grant they may not fall lower than ever before, and if they fall, that they may rise again: this the devil, seeing the harm they may do him and the good they may do their neighbours, will use every means in his power to prevent.

6. Whatever consolations and signs of love our Lord may give you, avoid all occasions of evil and never feel safe against a relapse. Be sure to mention these favours and graces to some one who is able to counsel you: hide nothing from him. Always begin and finish your prayer with the thought of your own nothingness, however sublime your contemplation may be, and even though our Lord may impart Himself to you and offer you proofs of His love. If this contemplation comes from God, you will often find yourselves unconsciously doing this, for such prayer produces humility and leaves us with a greater knowledge of our own unworthiness. Be cautious and consult some one who understands such matters,⁵ for the devil attacks us at these times in various ways. I will say no more here, as there are many books which give advice about it: I have written this because I have had much experience on the subject which has given me a great deal of trouble. Still, nothing that can be said will make us perfectly secure, because we cannot understand ourselves.

7. What, O eternal Father! can we do, save to have recourse to Thee and beg Thee not to permit our enemies to lead us into temptation? Let open assaults come, and with Thine aid we can defend ourselves; but how can we detect these subtle snares? O my God! never must we cease to beg Thy help. Give us some safeguard against surprise and show us how to understand ourselves and to feel secure. Thou knowest how few are the souls that follow the way of prayer — and if they must live thus beset with fears, their number will diminish.

8. How strange it seems! One would think the devil never tempted any one who did not pray! The world is more horrified at one person who aims at perfection falling into some deception than at witnessing the crimes and errors of a hundred thousand souls on the road to hell, about whom there can be no question as to whether they are saints or sinners, for any one can see, a thousand leagues off, that Satan has them in his clutches. Still the world is right, for the devil entraps so very few who say the Pater Noster with devotion, that when he succeeds men are startled and wonder at it, as at something strange and unheard of! For, as a rule, people think little of every-day sights but anything new or uncommon strikes them with surprise. The evil spirits too incite them to take scandal at this, for a single soul that reaches perfection snatches many others from their hands. And the thing itself is so strange that no wonder men marvel at it, for unless they have themselves to blame, souls travel far more safely by this way than by any other — just as those who watch the bull-fight behind the barrier do not run the same risk as others who expose themselves to the animal's horns. I heard some one make this comparison and it seems most appropriate. Do not be afraid, sisters, to walk in these paths — for there are many kinds of prayer; some minds profit by one sort and some by another,⁶ as I told you. The way is a safe one: you will be freed more quickly from temptation if you are near our Lord than if you were far off. Beg and entreat this of Him, as you do every day, in the Pater Noster.