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Chapter XLII

Treats of the final words of the Pater Noster: 'But deliver us from evil. Amen.'1

1. 'Deliver us from evil.' What this evil is. 2. The evils of this life. 3. A prayer for deliverance from them. 4. Contemplatives long for heaven. 5. Contrast between earth and heaven. 6. Necessity of both vocal and mental prayer. 7. That our Lord has helped St. Teresa to write this book through the Pater Noster. 8. Conclusion.

  1. I think the good Jesus might well have made this prayer for Himself, for we see, by His speech to His Apostles, how weary He was of this life. 'With desire have I desired to eat this Pasch with you.'2 As this was to be the last supper He ever ate, these words prove how tired He was of living. Yet, nowadays, people of a hundred years old, far from being sick of existence, want to live longer! But we do not dwell in such misery, sufferings, and poverty as did His Majesty! What was His whole life but a continuous death, for His bitter Passion was always before His eyes?3 Yet this was the least of His sorrows compared with witnessing the sins committed against His Father and the multitude of souls that are lost. For if this is a cruel torment to a heart filled with charity,4 what must it have been to the boundless and supreme charity of our Lord? Well might He implore His Father to deliver Him from so many evils and trials and to place Him in peace in His kingdom, of which He was the rightful heir.

  2. Amen. I think that as 'Amen' is used at the end of all prayers, so our Lord means by it here, that we may be delivered from all evil for ever. It would be hopeless, sisters, to suppose that while we are on earth we can be freed from numberless temptations, imperfections, and even sins, since Holy Scripture says: 'If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.'5 This is the truth. Then, if we flee from bodily evils and sufferings — and who is without many a trial of the sort? — is it not right to ask to be delivered from the ills of the soul? Still, we must recognise that it is impossible for us to be delivered from every corporal evil or from imperfections and faults in God's service. I am not speaking of the saints — they 'can do all things in Christ',6 as St. Paul said, but of sinners like myself. When I see how engulfed I am in my own weakness, tepidity, want of mortification, and other faults, I feel the need of asking God for some redress. As for you, daughters, pray for what you think best: I shall never be free from these evils in this life and so I beg to be delivered from them in eternity. What good do we possess on earth, where we are destitute of all good and absent from our Lord? Deliver me, O God! from this deadly nightmare; deliver me from the many labours, the frequent anguish, the numberless vicissitudes, the multitude of duties that devolve upon us in this world: from the many, many, many things that harass and that weary me, and that would weary any reader of this book were I to enumerate them. Life is made unbearable7 by the loathing I feel at having led so bad a life and at the sight of its unworthiness even now, considering my indebtedness.

  3. Therefore I beg of God to deliver me for ever from all evil since I cannot pay the score I owe, but, perhaps, only plunge deeper into debt each day. O God! unbearable is the uncertainty as to whether I love Thee or whether my desires are pleasing to Thee! My Lord and my God! deliver me from all evil and vouchsafe to take me to where all good things are to be found. What do souls look for here, after Thou hast shown them in some degree the nothingness of this world, or when they have learnt it by experience, and have a lively faith in what the eternal Father is keeping in store for us because His Son asked Him to bestow it on us and has bidden us beg it for ourselves?

  4. An ardent and constant desire for heaven is a sure sign in contemplatives that the favours they receive come from God and that their contemplation is genuine, for He is drawing their souls to Him. So let those who possess it value it highly. But let nobody suppose that I ask for heaven for this reason — it is only because my life has been so wicked that I am afraid of living any longer — besides, I am tired of bearing so many crosses. But souls which receive divine favours may well desire to be where they will no longer taste of them by sips. Now that they know something of the grandeurs of God, they long to see them in entirety: they do not wish to dwell amidst so many obstacles to their enjoyment of this supreme good, but pine to be where the Sun of righteousness never sets. All earthly things henceforth seem dim to them. I cannot understand how they can live another hour — at all events, no one can ever feel content to do so who has once begun to delight in God and who has partaken of His kingdom here, so as no longer to do her own will but that of her King.

  5. Oh, how different must be that life where one no longer pines for death! What a contrast in the bent of our wills to God's will! He wills that we should love the truth, while we prefer falsehood; He wishes us to love what is eternal — but we follow what is fleeting; He would have us care for the noble and sublime — we only value base and earthly things; He wills that we should rest on what is safe, while we seek danger. All things are vanity, my daughters, save to ask God to deliver us from these dangers for ever and to preserve us from all evil. Although our wish for this may not be perfect, yet let us force ourselves to make the petition. What does it matter if we pray for great things — we are asking it of One Who is all-powerful? It would be an insult to ask a great emperor for a farthing. But to make sure of obtaining our request, let us leave the choice of the gift to the will of God,8 since we have already yielded our will to Him. May His Name be for ever blessed both in heaven and earth, and let His will be ever done in me! Amen.9

  6. Now you see, my friends, that to make vocal prayer with perfection is to consider and to realise to Whom it is offered, who it is that makes it, and what is asked for. Do not be disheartened if people tell you that it is wrong to use any but vocal prayer. Read over very carefully all that I have written and beg God to teach you anything about the subject that you cannot understand. Nobody can hinder you from vocal prayer nor force you to say the Pater Noster hurriedly and thoughtlessly. If any one tries to prevent your prayer or advises you to give it up, do not trust what he says but look upon him as a false prophet. In these times you cannot listen to everybody: if to-day some one tells you that you have nothing to fear, there is no knowing what he may say to-morrow. I meant to have explained how you should say the Ave Maria, but having enlarged my book so much, I must leave it. To know how to recite the Pater Noster well will show you how to say any other prayer.

  7. Now let us finish the journey which I have described. See, sisters, what trouble our Lord has saved me by teaching both you and myself 'the way' I began to describe to you, by showing me how much we ask for when we say this evangelical prayer. May He be for ever praised, for assuredly the idea never entered my mind that it contained such sublime secrets. As you have seen, it comprises the whole spiritual life from the very beginning until God absorbs the soul into Himself and gives it to drink freely of the fountain of living water10 which I told you was to be found at the end of the pilgrimage. To speak the truth, after having gone through this prayer, I cannot find any more to say. Our Lord seems to have wished to teach us what great consolation it contains. It is most useful for those who cannot read: if they understood it, they might gather from it much spiritual instruction and solace. If other books are taken from us, no one can deprive us of this which came from the lips of the very Truth Who cannot err. And since, as I said, we recite the Pater Noster very often during the day, let us take delight in it, and let us strive to learn humility from the way in which our good Master prays, besides all the other things I have explained to you.

  8. Beg of Him to pardon me for having dared to speak about such high matters. His Majesty knows well that I should never have had the courage nor would my mind have been capable of it, unless He had taught me what to say. Now, sisters, I think our Lord does not wish me to continue, though I intended writing more. Our Lord has taught both you and me the way I have described in the book which, as I have said, I have written (the Life). I have told you how to journey to this fount of living water and what the soul feels when it is attained: how God satiates the spirit, deprives it of all thirst for earthly things, and strengthens it in His service. That book will be a great help to those who feel called to such a state and will give them much light. Ask for it, for the Father-Master, Father Dominic Banez, who is my confessor, has it; I shall also give him this before showing it to you; should he think that you would be benefited by having it, and also give you the former, I should feel happy at having afforded you any comfort. If this work is unworthy of being read, you must take the will for the deed, as I have done my best to obey your request. I think that I have been well repaid for the pains it has cost me, as I have not had to study what to write because our Lord has taught me the secrets of this evangelical prayer, which have greatly consoled me.

Blessed and praised be God, from Whom comes all the good that we either speak, or think, or do! Amen.

JESUS.

Footnotes

  1. Valladolid edition, ch. xliv.; Escorial, continuation of ch. lxxii. ↩

  2. St. Luke xxii. 15: 'Desiderio desideravi hoc Pascha manducare vobiscum.' ↩

  3. What must have been the feelings of our Lord Jesus Christ — and what must His life have been? for all things were present before His eyes, and He was the constant witness of the great offences committed against His Father. I believe without doubt that this pained Him far more than His sacred Passion. There He found the end of all His trials, with the consolation of gaining our salvation through His death, and of proving how He loved His Father by suffering for Him, which allayed His agony. . . . Yet I think the constant sight of the many sins committed against God and of the numberless souls on their way to hell must have caused Him such anguish that, had He not been more than man, one day of such torment would have destroyed not only His life, but many more lives, if they had been His. (Castle, M. v. ch. ii. 13). ↩

  4. St. Teresa delighted in reading the lives of the saints, but nothing so excited her devotion as the history of those who had converted many souls. Indeed, this moved her far more than the sufferings of the martyrs. She would cry to God, imploring Him to listen to her prayers since prayer was her only resource, and begging Him to allow her to rescue at least one soul from among the many victims of the devil. (Ribera, bk. iv. ch. xi.) ↩

  5. 1 St. John i. 8: 'Si dixerimus quoniam peccatum non habemus, ipsi nos seducimus.' ↩

  6. Phil. iv. 13: 'Omnia possum in Eo qui me confortat.' ↩

  7. Castle, M. vi. ch. xi. 9; M. vii. ch. iii. 14. Excl. vi.; xii. 2; xiv. Poems I. and II. on the words 'I die because I do not die.' ↩

  8. Excl. xvi. ↩

  9. Escorial edition, ch. lxxiii. In which the book is concluded. ↩

  10. Way of Perf. ch. xix. 4. ↩

Chapter 43 of 43