Chapter XLI

Treats of the fear of God, and that we ought to avoid venial sins.¹

1. Fallacy of human affection. 2. Holy fear. 3. Inadvertent and deliberate sin. 4. How to obtain holy fear. 5. Our conduct when we possess it. 6. We must not repel others by our manners. 7. Disadvantages of being over-strict. 8. We must show cordiality to others. 9. Exhortations.

1. Have I enlarged on this subject? Not half as much as I should like, for it is delightful to talk about the love of God — what will it be, then, to possess it? Do Thou O Lord! bestow it on me: suffer me not to depart from this life until I care for nothing which it contains, and know what it is to love nought but Thee. Let me no longer say that I love anything else nor give the name of love to what is nothingness, since all earthly things are false, for if the foundation shifts, how can the building stand? I do not know why we should feel surprised at people saying, 'This man has treated me ungratefully', 'That person does not love me'. I laugh to myself when I hear such speeches. How else should he treat them, or why should any one love them? This will show you what the world is, for such love brings its own punishment with it, and the reason that you are tortured is that your will keenly resents your employing it in such child's-play.

2. Now let us think about the fear of God, although I regret saying nothing about the love of this world, for through my own fault I have learnt what it is, and I should like to make you understand it so that you might always keep free from it. However, I cannot do so as I should be leaving my subject. The fear of God is easily recognised by its possessor and by those around her, although at first it is not strong enough to be perceived by every one, but develops gradually. I except the case of certain persons, on whom, as I said, our Lord bestows such great favours that, in a short time,² they become rich in virtues and are raised to a high degree of prayer. In their case this fear of God becomes at once apparent, otherwise it increases daily by degrees. This, and the love of God, are more plainly seen as they attain perfection, although the former virtue may soon be detected because whoever owns it forsakes sin and its occasions and gives up bad company: there are also other signs of it. But when souls such as those above mentioned are raised to contemplation, both their love and fear of God are very evident even in their outward conduct. Whoever watches such persons narrowly will find that they are never careless, for God upholds them, so that, whatever they might gain by it, they would not willingly commit a venial fault — as for mortal sin, they dread it like fire. These are the illusions of which, sisters, I wish you to stand in fear. You should beg God that temptation may not be strong enough to overcome you, but that He will give you the power to conquer it, for it can do you little or no harm while you keep a good conscience. This is the important matter; this is the fear which I hope we shall never lose; this must be our defence.

3. Oh, if we have not offended God, how easy it is for us to control the minions and slaves of hell!³ We must all serve Him in the end, whether we will or no — the devils by force and we with alacrity. So that, if we are pleasing to Him, they will be kept within bounds and will be unable to harm us, however they may tempt and lay their snares for us; in fact, they will only leave us with more merit. Remember this caution and advice; it is most important for you not to neglect it until you have such a fixed determination not to offend God that you would rather forfeit a thousand lives than commit a mortal sin. You must also be extremely vigilant about venial faults, so that you would rather suffer persecution from the whole human race than fall into this offence. I am speaking about misdeeds that are committed with full consent and are deliberate, for who does not constantly lapse into inadvertent errors? But there is one advertency which is very deliberate and another so sudden that to commit the sin and to know it seem one and the same thing and we hardly realise what we are about, though yet, to a certain extent, we are aware of it. But from wilfully committing any sin, however trivial, may God deliver us! I cannot think how we could dare to set ourselves against so great a Sovereign in however small a matter, though no offence against such majesty can be called 'small', because we know that He is watching us. Such a fault seems to me thoroughly premeditated.⁴ It is as if we said: 'Lord, although this displeases Thee, yet I shall do it. I know that Thou seest it and art angered at it: this I know: but I would rather follow my own fancies and desires than Thy will.' Is such a misdeed as this a little one? I think not; I think it is very, very serious.

4. For the love of God, sisters, always be as careful in this matter as, thank Him, you are at present. Much depends upon your cultivating the habit of watchfulness. If you wish to gain this fear, it is important for you constantly to bear in mind how heinous a thing it is to offend God. This is a vital matter, especially if we can thus graft this virtue strongly in our souls. Until we possess it we must act cautiously, keeping aloof from all places and persons that do not draw us to God. We must be careful to break our own will in whatever we do; we must take care that our words are edifying, and must avoid places where the conversation is irreligious.

5. Great pains are required in order to root this holy fear deeply in the soul, although, when a genuine love is felt for God, He soon gives it on seeing her firm determination not to commit even a venial sin for the sake of any created thing and that not to avoid a thousand deaths would she offend Him,⁵ although, in spite of this, such a one may fall into defects, for we are weak and cannot trust ourselves. The firmer are our resolutions the less ought we to confide in our own strength, for all our confidence must rest on God. When we find that we have this fixed resolve we need not be so timid and strict with ourselves, for our Lord and the good habits we have formed will aid us not to offend Him. We may now act with a holy liberty and may associate with any one we meet. We may even prefer to be with the worldly, for, though before we felt this genuine fear of God they would have proved a poison destructive to our souls, yet now, when we see the contrast there is between us, their company will often strengthen our good resolutions and make us love God better and thank Him for having delivered us from danger. If, in the past, you fostered their weaknesses, now you will help them by forcing them to restrain themselves in your presence, for they will pay you this compliment unasked.

6. I often wonder why it is — and thank God for it — that the presence of a religiously minded person, even though he is silent, frequently stops profanity.⁶ I suppose it must be the same as in human fellowship: people are careful not to speak ill of one absent before those whom they know to be intimate with him. Since such a person as I speak of is in a state of grace, this must cause him to be respected, however low his station may be, and men will not give him the pain that they know an offence against God would cause him. To tell the truth, I do not know the reason, but it is generally the case. Do not be too rigid in your ways; for the soul to grow timorous will be a great hindrance in every way and may sometimes lead to scruples which cripple it both as regards itself and others. If things do not reach so far as this, still, though such a person may go on satisfactorily as regards herself, souls will not be drawn to God by her when they see her anxiety and distress. Human nature is frightened and oppressed at such a sight, and for fear of falling into the same uncomfortable state even forfeits the reward of following in her footsteps, although clearly her way is the best.

7. Another drawback is that we shall think others imperfect because they do not follow the same path as ourselves, but perhaps with greater sanctity talk with freedom and without constraint for the sake of benefiting others. If they maintain an innocent cheerfulness, we think it is dissipation. This is especially the case with ignorant people like ourselves who do not understand what subjects it is wrong to speak about. It is a bad frame of mind to be in, being very dangerous and a source of continual temptation, because it injures our neighbour. It is very wrong to suppose that because they are not so scrupulous, people cannot be as good as ourselves. Another disadvantage is that, in cases when it is our duty and our right to speak, we dare not do so, lest we should offend God, or we speak well of what we ought to hate.⁷

8. As far as you can, without offending God, try to be genial and to behave in such a way with those you have to deal with, that they may take pleasure in your conversation and may wish to imitate your life and manners, instead of being frightened and deterred from virtue.⁸ This is an important matter for nuns: the more holy they are, the more cordial they ought to be with their sisters. Although you may be pained because their conversation is not what you could wish, still, never keep aloof from them, for thus you will help them and win their love. We ought to try our best to be sociable and to humour and please those with whom we talk, especially when they are our sisters.

9. Try to realise, sisters, that God does not care for such trifling matters as you suppose, and do not let these things alarm your soul and damp your courage, or you will lose greatly by it. Keep a pure intention and a firm resolve not to offend God, as I said, but do not trammel your soul, for instead of advancing in sanctity you would contract a number of imperfections which the devil would bring about in other ways, and you would not help others as you might have done. You see that, with these two things — the love and the fear of God — we can travel peacefully along the road without imagining that at every step we see some ditch to fall into. If we fancy this, we shall never get to the end of our journey, yet fear must always lead the way. Do not grow careless: we must never feel perfectly safe in this life. To do so would be most dangerous, as we cannot be absolutely sure whether we really possess this holy fear and love.

Our Lord took pity on us because we dwell amidst such uncertainty and are beset by many temptations and dangers; therefore, at the end of this prayer our Master asks for us and teaches us to ask for ourselves, 'But deliver us from evil. Amen.'

Footnotes

1. Valladolid edition, ch. xliii.; Escorial, ch. lxxi. ↩

2. Way of Perf. ch. xvi. 4, 6. Concep. ch. v. 3. ↩

3. Life, ch. xxxi. 10. ↩

4. Concep. ch. ii. 27. ↩

5. Castle, M. vi. ch. i. 21; M. vii. ch. iv. 3. Life, ch. xxiv. 1, 3. ↩

6. St. Teresa's influence over the irreligious is shown by an incident which occurred when she was on her way to make the foundation of Seville. She and the nuns were in the same field with some disorderly soldiers and other men who began to quarrel violently with one another. They drew their arms and began to fight. The sisters terrified ran to their Mother as chickens take refuge beneath their parent's wings. The Saint said to the combatants: 'My brothers, remember that you are in the presence of God, Who is to be your Judge.' Struck with horror at her words, the men ceased their conflict and took to flight. (Ribera's Life of St. Teresa, bk. iv. ch. xxi.) When on her foundations, the holy Mother sometimes employed mule-drivers who were given to swearing and bad language, from which they always abstained out of respect for her when she was present. They often said that nothing on earth gave them so much pleasure as listening to her conversation. (Ibid. bk. ii, ch. xviii.) ↩

7. Escorial edition, ch. lxxii. Against scruples. An explanation of the words, 'Deliver us from evil.' ↩

8. St. Teresa was of the sweetest disposition, so peaceful and pleasant that every one who had to deal with her felt attracted by her, and loved and sought her company. She detested the rude and disagreeable manners of some religious people, which make both themselves and perfection hateful to others. (From Father Gratian's declaration, Fuente, vol. vi. 370, n. 4.) ↩